Am I a WhatsApp psychopath?

[MrDobbs]

This is how I use WhatsApp.
Sending a message:

• I send my message
• I look for a blue tick at some point, and feel a bit better once I see that knowing that at least my message has been seen
• If I don't get an instant reply, I assume the person is busy or what I have sent them is low priority in their life at that moment for whatever reason
• If it's something that needs a reply then I will ask again when it starts getting time critical (for things like "where shall I meet you" or "when are you likely to be here"
• If it's really time critical or more complicated and not getting a reply, I will phone them
• I find it a bit irritating when messaging people who have blue ticks turned off as I don't know when to follow up but it's the mildest of irritations.

Recieving a message

• I will open the message to read it and it will blue tick it.
• I will reply when it is convenient or necessary. If I am busy with the kids or work, that could be hours later unless it is important and urgent.
• Sometimes if it's not a particularly important message or just chit chat, I will unintentionally forget about it by the evening and then maybe reply the next day or something saying sorry for the late reply.

Would this behaviour annoy you or seem reasonable? My wife thinks I should be up at the Hague for crimes against humanity for leaving read messages without a reply.

Its news to me that you can blue tick it. I don't take any steps to blue tick anything. Doesn't it just happen automatically?

Not unreasonable BTW. Quite sane, in fact.

Well I didn't know you could even turn off blue ticks!
So thanks for that x

This is how I see it:

If you read a message, and the recipient knows you've read it, (i.e. blue tick is on), then you should reply, otherwise it is seen as rude.

If you don't want to reply (for whatever reason), then don't read it.

Only read a message, when you're ready to reply.

If it's something urgent, then they would call.

So I wouldn't worry about leaving messages unread.

Besides, 9 time out of 10, I find, generally when people message you, it's because they want something for their benefit/convenience, not yours.

If it is urgent, then call.

I do it because of the reasons I said in my other posts. People sending essays and wanting every point addressed and a reply within 30 seconds.
I have better things to be doing than be tied to my phone. I have it for my convenience, not for that of others.

How do you know when you are ready to reply if you haven’t read it? If someone wants to be
offended over something so silly that’s up to them. I will read at my convenience and also reply at my convenience. I expect them to read and reply at their convenience.

I do wonder if it is also a generation thing.
I grew up pre-internet and mobile phones. It was landlines and letters in the post.

Personally, I tend not to read messages until I have time to reply, or I’ll tell them that I’ll mark it as unread again and reply later. People can wait days, even weeks! 😂 I don’t monitor ticks particularly, but they can be useful.

I think you list was very well reasoned and thought out. I would probably make a similar list.

People of different age groups will respond differently with different time frames and protocols. Depending on when they were brought up.

Teenagers need instant gratification and speed of light replies or they will die!

I would completely ignore your husband and let him do his own thing. Just do the best thing that suits you and sod everybody else.

I didn't know about that! I have ADHD and if I can't reply immediately I forget it's been sent. I'll look into this. For this reason I usually just look at notifications onscreen, and don't open the message until I'm free.

I just read the preview if I’m not going to reply. I’d never leave someone on read, it feels so rude. I’d at least tell them that I’ll properly reply later (and then set myself a reminder because my brain is a sieve).

I wouldn't read a message just before going on a long drive, or getting on an airplane, about to start work where phones aren't allowed, or somewhere where there's not going to be a signal, etc.

..as that would leave the message on read, but there wouldn't be a reply for what could be several hours.

Or even better,
If its urgent then phone them.

I just honestly don’t know why it feels rude! Not bothering to read my message for ages feels far more rude to me. I do think it’s a generation thing.

Out of interest, if it's a generation thing, I wondered what generation you are if you don't mind me asking? I do the same as this commenter, I leave it unread so I can answer later as otherwise I'll forget - I'm 48, with perimenopause my memory isn't as good. Just wondering if you mean that younger or older people are more likely to read a message quicker.

The people that turn off ticks etc seem really insecure to me for some reason. Why do you care if you’ve blue ticked something? Answer when you want regardless. Or are you obsessed with watching someone else’s blue ticks and have turned them off to protect yourself? Both weird.

From experience of some people, it's because they would get the following;

Hi
Hi
Hor ru
?
Wat u doin
Im havin my tea
why ru ignoring me
Hello?

Pls call
Got some news
U OK?
Babe?

Pick up
Why arent u answering
You got yr fancy man with u
I know y cheating
Just be honest
Im not mad

CALL ME
NOW

Hi babe, wat y doin
U alrite
Picl up

I'm coming round

Open the door
I know ur in there
I can see u

Thats a nice top ur wearinf
PICL IP

Im at beachy head and wanted to say no hard feelings and good luck with your boygriend. goodbye.

All in the space of about 90 minutes between 1.20am and dawn.

Because people are insecure about being left on read. There have even been threads about it on here.
There is the expectation that if you have read their message, you respond straight away... and you are the rude one if you don't.

If I leave someone on read I just own it. Turning off all the stuff just gives in to the silliness of it

I’m a v similar age to you (have recently ticked over into the next decade but we are v close in age). So I think older people more likely to reply when they want. I just don’t understand any angst about it at all. I have been sent a message to read. Like a letter ! I will read it and reply if/ when I’m ready! I don’t try and peer through the envelope at the contents! I honestly don’t care if people can see I’ve read it. And I’ve I have messaged someone I’m pleased to see they have taken the time to read it and more offended if they can’t be bothered! When they reply is irrelevant to me.