Am I a WhatsApp psychopath?

[MrDobbs]

This is how I use WhatsApp.
Sending a message:

• I send my message
• I look for a blue tick at some point, and feel a bit better once I see that knowing that at least my message has been seen
• If I don't get an instant reply, I assume the person is busy or what I have sent them is low priority in their life at that moment for whatever reason
• If it's something that needs a reply then I will ask again when it starts getting time critical (for things like "where shall I meet you" or "when are you likely to be here"
• If it's really time critical or more complicated and not getting a reply, I will phone them
• I find it a bit irritating when messaging people who have blue ticks turned off as I don't know when to follow up but it's the mildest of irritations.

Recieving a message

• I will open the message to read it and it will blue tick it.
• I will reply when it is convenient or necessary. If I am busy with the kids or work, that could be hours later unless it is important and urgent.
• Sometimes if it's not a particularly important message or just chit chat, I will unintentionally forget about it by the evening and then maybe reply the next day or something saying sorry for the late reply.

Would this behaviour annoy you or seem reasonable? My wife thinks I should be up at the Hague for crimes against humanity for leaving read messages without a reply.

Why not just get a life

Your OP is all reasonable behaviour, UNLESS your wife's actual issue is that you abruptly leave live back-and-forth conversations without notifying the other person that you are doing so, leaving them hanging indefinitely wasting their time and wondering if you have been suddenly hit by a bus.
In that situation: absolutely fine to go and do something else, but you have to at least say "gtg bye" at minimum.

The ones that don't respond quickly after reading a message want you to think they are super important /super busy people .They usually have a massive ego and are generally up their own backside .
I hope this helps ..

I'd be worried about the sender of these messages giving it that much thought. Only if a message was urgent would I take the time to follow up and contact again for a response. If people don't reply immediately to my messages, I'm not bothered. They have lives.

Your way is literally my way so either we're both psychopaths or we're normal people in our 40s with busy lives!

Wow, that's an awful lot of assumption on your part. So wifey is doing all wifey stuff and big man husband pays the utility bill. How do you know he doesn't do the shopping? You beggar my belief.

You know I've never got that about the thumbs up. I use it all the time. It's quick and to the point. I don't take offence if someone thumbs ups me. I'm glad they've received and validated my message.

Despite much pressure from family and friends to join WhatsApp, I refuse to do so. I think it makes you too accessible and I don’t feel the need to be in on everyone else’s stuff. If people want to send me a message, they know to do so by text or iMessage. I usually reply fairly promptly.

I often take days and my DH will always either pick up a phone call immediately or ring back ASAP, but there's no guarantees he'll read or reply to a WhatsApp. So yeah think it's fine!

I don't like this requirement to be constantly on our phones and at everyone's beck and call. I'm either parenting, driving or working apart from a little bit of time each day so can't guarantee I'll be available at the point of receiving a message. Like right now - patting toddler to sleep. On MN for distraction while he's starting to snooze but I can click off whenever I want.

This must be a generation thing.

Only Gen Alpha is moaning about being aired 🙄aka other people are not paying precocious main characters attention because they are doing whatever they are doing

Can't be a woman? Are you for real!!?? What a sexist comment! I'm most definitely a woman and that post could be written by me. The only difference is I have the 'read' notification turned off. In fact, I'm probably worse than him as it can take me a lot longer to reply. No one is guaranteed one's time! People get a reply when and as I'm able to, feel up to it or as a last resort, can be bothered to. How self-important do you have to feel to think that anyone is waiting with baited breath for your reply?.... 🤦🏼‍♂️

Croikey I hope you ignore them when they do that.
'why am I getting aired?' haha. About the fact you want to know if there's nuggets or lasagne for tea? Ridiculous.

I hate messaging, i tend not to answer after i've read unless it's really urgent but if it's urgent my friends/family know to call. I switch off the blue tick thing and also switch off when i'm online so people don't think i'm there for their convenience.

most of the time i cba messaging back.

I leave everyone on read 😂 I'm not sure if I'm exhausted, burnt out, neuro diverse or what but replying to a whatsapp can sometimes feel like an impossible task. I sometimes check the notification (swipe down) to see if its urgent and if not it gets left until I feel up to it. I do like people, I just find them exhausting.

I find the people who expect an immediate reply bizarre. Do you not find replying to messages interrupts your relaxation? If I'm chilling and reading a book and i get a whatsapp from my friend i read it because it could say something has happened and they need a lift to a&e of whatever, but if it's actually them telling me about their day at work and asking about a trip in a few months, then I'll go back to my book and reply when I've got the brain power to formulate a proper reply to them that they deserve. I don't think any of my friends get pissed off about that.

@MrDobbs People who read messages and don't reply are pretentious. The reason why they do this is to make themselves feel important. Their time is so valuable that they can't find any to reply to you.

It's also part of the same family of behaviour as ghosting. Weird behaviours that only strange people do.

You're rude and if you were my friend, I wouldn't bother with you. Have you got paralysed thumbs or something.

Pretentious?? That's just bonkers

Then how come they magically find the time to reply once someone important contacts them?

The fact they don't reply to you or I means that they view themselves as being more important. That's pretentiousness.

@Daygloboo You're rude and if you were my friend, I wouldn't bother with you. Have you got paralysed thumbs or something.

Phones are inherently more difficult for us men to use because the tiny touch-screen keyboards were designed for little feminine hands. I find it extremely difficult to type on a phone screen.

This. Man moans about wife on mumsnet, news at 10.

Oh, and he would definitely respond if it was someone or something he considered important. His wife knows this, that's what's bothering her.

I read the gist of the message as it comes up in my notifications bar and I don't open it unless I have time to reply. Nothing to do with leaving the other person "on read" but Because if it's been read, and doesn't have the notification I will forget about it.

But my children are tiny and thus my brain is mush.

There's an interesting psychology experiment somewhere in this.

Do as you would be done by. If you cannot reply, say "Will speak later..." so that the person knows you are not ignoring her.

What you're doing is fine. However - I don't open messages until I am in a position to reply. Hope this helps.

I found this thread interesting. As it only takes seconds to reply to a message - even if it only says “Busy now”