Am I a WhatsApp psychopath?

[MrDobbs]

This is how I use WhatsApp.
Sending a message:

• I send my message
• I look for a blue tick at some point, and feel a bit better once I see that knowing that at least my message has been seen
• If I don't get an instant reply, I assume the person is busy or what I have sent them is low priority in their life at that moment for whatever reason
• If it's something that needs a reply then I will ask again when it starts getting time critical (for things like "where shall I meet you" or "when are you likely to be here"
• If it's really time critical or more complicated and not getting a reply, I will phone them
• I find it a bit irritating when messaging people who have blue ticks turned off as I don't know when to follow up but it's the mildest of irritations.

Recieving a message

• I will open the message to read it and it will blue tick it.
• I will reply when it is convenient or necessary. If I am busy with the kids or work, that could be hours later unless it is important and urgent.
• Sometimes if it's not a particularly important message or just chit chat, I will unintentionally forget about it by the evening and then maybe reply the next day or something saying sorry for the late reply.

Would this behaviour annoy you or seem reasonable? My wife thinks I should be up at the Hague for crimes against humanity for leaving read messages without a reply.

This is a fair point. It's clearly possible to reply in a few seconds most of the time as I manage to do that when texting my wife, so it's a choice I am making not to do that with others. Maybe the wrong choice in some cases.

All you overwhelmed stressed irritated upset people know you don’t actually need to have WhatsApp don’t you? It’s just a massage app. If you don’t want to use it and it causes you so much angst woman up and delete it. Text messages and emails still exist

Aww OK.. I think thats completely reasonable then.

Id misread it like any text once theres a blue tick you were chasing.

Im in fact team you

👍 very dismissive though or seen to be

yep, a thumbs up when someone has sent a 900 word trauma dump.
That won't go down well.

I also support your approach - and I am also female.

I can, but I choose not to. Unless I want to. And then I do.

I would happily reply if it was a quick message, but does no one else get messages that are paragraphs long, with multiple questions? You have to sit down with a cup of tea to reply to those, it’s not a couple of seconds! Just reading them is overwhelming.

Yes, and TBH I would rather meet with that person and have a proper conversation, or a phone call. Not a monologue.

You’re the same as me

I'm the same age as you but female and this is my exact approach, so if that makes you a WhatsApp psychopath then I'll meet you at Belmarsh!

Your only crime is forgetting the i before e except after c rule.

I have both read receipts, and last online, turned off.
I think anyone who entertains blue ticks in their life is a psychopath to be honest.

My samsung fit3 steptracker watch will display WhatsApp messages on the watchface but (a) won't mark them as "read" and (b) offers the option to send one of a set of customisable generic responses like "on my way" or "thanks, will reply properly later" with a single click. Might that save your marriage?

Perfectly normal (53F here). Unless it obviously requires an immediate response (e.g. DH in Waitrose rn wanting to know if we need milk)

Who are all these people regularly sending you long emotional WhatsApp’s?!? Do you think you should re consider your relationships as this really isn’t normal in adult life

There were a few. Not in my life anymore. I am not a therapist.

The problem here is not thumbs up but the fact that someone thinks it's appropriate to send someone a 900 word trauma dump. Maybe I am old-fashioned but if someone needs to pour their heart and soul to me, they should make a phone call. There is nothing more tedious than spending an hour texting back and forth for something which could take 5 minutes to resolve over a phone call.

Touch the notification to see if the message needs opening and responding to. That doesn’t affect the tick but lets you see most of the message and triage it!

Not for that kind of message obviously. Not that I get many of those.

If you switch previews on you can read the message and even reply without blue ticks

I am baffled at the blue tick obsession. Surely people know if you have sent a message that isn't 'Help me im dying' then you don't have to respond that second? Are people that entitled now?

Thanks, can't believe I did that. I can't edit the post now so might have to get the thread deleted to hide the error then start worrying about other signs of cognitive decline.

I just knew this can't be a woman
Bit odd to gender this. I'm a woman (generation below OP) and function exactly the same way as him.

I just don't think immediate replies are necessary 99% of the time. Few things are that serious, surely?

I’m too busy to notice any of these things