Am I a WhatsApp psychopath?

[MrDobbs]

This is how I use WhatsApp.
Sending a message:

• I send my message
• I look for a blue tick at some point, and feel a bit better once I see that knowing that at least my message has been seen
• If I don't get an instant reply, I assume the person is busy or what I have sent them is low priority in their life at that moment for whatever reason
• If it's something that needs a reply then I will ask again when it starts getting time critical (for things like "where shall I meet you" or "when are you likely to be here"
• If it's really time critical or more complicated and not getting a reply, I will phone them
• I find it a bit irritating when messaging people who have blue ticks turned off as I don't know when to follow up but it's the mildest of irritations.

Recieving a message

• I will open the message to read it and it will blue tick it.
• I will reply when it is convenient or necessary. If I am busy with the kids or work, that could be hours later unless it is important and urgent.
• Sometimes if it's not a particularly important message or just chit chat, I will unintentionally forget about it by the evening and then maybe reply the next day or something saying sorry for the late reply.

Would this behaviour annoy you or seem reasonable? My wife thinks I should be up at the Hague for crimes against humanity for leaving read messages without a reply.

I am so glad that WhatsApp messaging etiquette is of no concern in my life 😅

Why would you do this???

I have the opposite reaction which is I cant help but find it quite rude when I'm left on grey ticks - that the other person can see I've sent a message but is apparently completely disinterested in what I might be messaging them about! I'd rather see you'd read my message.... and I dont expect people to reply straight away so not bothered by being left on blue

Same. Feels much more rude to me to leave me unread than to leave me on read. I simply don’t get it! Not even being bothered to read my message really upsets me! But reply when you can mate crack on with your life….

If it was my partner i would reply as soon as possible.

Voice notes are the work of the devil.

‘What are you guys planning for Xmas?’ - absolutely I’ll leave that until I have the mental energy to compose an answer dependent on the person.

’what time are you home?’ - I don’t understand how someone has the time to see a notification, go into WhatsApp, go to my thread, read a message but somehow doesn’t have the time to reply ‘7’

Am I the only person who has never used Whats App? I don’t see the point when you can just send a text message

Or you could try reading all the OP posts before giving your "advice."

I think your approach to messages sounds perfectly standard/ ordinary. It doesn’t sound particularly rude to me.

I guess there is a thing these days about not leaving people “on read”. Which is a bit silly as it’s quite common to have time to read a message, but once you’ve read it realise you don’t have time to reply properly at that moment (so it might need a bit of thought).

The worst thing I have is with a friend who is helping me to (very slowly!) learn what happens to be her language - so I will often be able to read her message but then not have the time to construct a reply in another language, but I want to read it in case it’s important.

Then you end up doing those “message gymnastics) where you try to read the message without opening it so you don’t leave someone “on read”.

I don’t think I’m bad at getting back to people overall though! I don’t want to turn off the blue ticks as it’s nice to know if other people have seen my messages! I don’t worry if friends etc don’t get back to me immediately as I know that like me they generally have jobs, teenagers, lives in general etc to worry about!

What? Typing a WA is literally same as tying a text 🤯

Agreed. This is how I approach it.

Some of us have friends and relatives abroad that we like to communicate to. Like parents for example, or siblings. WhatsApp is free for calls and texts.

Even easier if you have it on laptop or pc. That is the only place I use it to be honest. I type super quick and text super slow.

Turning the wifi off to read a message is actually futile because if a person really wanted to know if the message was read or not even on airplane mode you just to to the message, the arrow and info will tell you if it has been read.

Can you explain what yoh mean @Brummyhelpplease? If you haven’t been online since you read the message I’m not sure how the sender could know ? And what do you mean by the arrow?

YABU to be irritated by people who have blue ticks turned off, and people like you are usually the reason we have them turned off.

The time and capacity needed to read a message is different from the time and capacity needed to reply; you don't need to know when I saw it unless you're actively measuring how long it takes me to reply - in which case, I'm probably not interested in chatting to you.

If you havent been online or checked your phone fair enough but turning wifi off to look at a message on airplane mode does not work. It might not show as blue ticks but if you highlight the message and then click the three dots on the top right of it and go to info it tells you if it has been read or not. People turn phone data off and think they are reading a message on airplane mode so the sender won't know but they can if they do that.

Aired 😂
My children say that too.
I read my WhatsApp messages in preview so no one can see I've read them 😏

The other person might not know you've sent a message if they have all notifications turned off like me. Every so often I choose to look at my phone in case I have a message.

If it's that important they can phone me 🙂

This is my teens. But if I ask them to ring to text me to let me know they have arrived somewhere or are on the train then I get attitude. 🙄

I’m a WhatsApp psychopath too!

It could be worse. I do have blue ticks turned on, but quite often just read the message in in the notification itself, rather than going into Whatsapp itself, especially if its not something that needs a reply.

As a result, Whatsapp doesn't think I've read the message, so doesn't show the blue ticks to the other person.

Drives DP absolutely up the wall.

And that is why men don;t have the same martyring syndrome/ people pleasing tendencies as women. I used to be like your wife - are you not going to reply to that/ have you replied. as if my way was right - nope my way was people pleasing, not wanting to be in trouble etc etc.
The other related one is when say someone cocks up your order and says sorry and I'd be saying it's ok don't worry , doesn't matter and trying to make sure they didn't feel bad about their cock up, ignoring my discomfort - just accept the apology don't be a dick of course but don't fawn.

The present and what you're doing is priority, not rushing to read and answer every message. We all know if a real emergency then it will be a call.

The time comes to read, quick reply, emoji confirmation.

It shouldn't be a case of expecting messages to be a 24/7 earpiece in your life, especially when busy with work/DC/having a bloody shower!

Amongst us all we know what to expect; the trivial ones, quick reply, the meaningful ones which require a sit down and concentration.

Personally, when it's a few exchanges then we all know it's a good time to do this, but nonreply simply means I'm busy living my life, with people so don't want to be rude, mutually know we need to be in a got time to respect and think about what I'm going to say.

This is so bizarre to me. Often I’ll need to read a message and then take some action, like check a diary if it’s an invite, or think about the best way to respond to a message.

So your ‘being left on read’ is my ‘sensibly taking my time so I send the reply that is needed’. The vast majority of WhatsApp messages I receive are not time sensitive (if they are I’ll reply immediately if I can) so ‘being left on read’ is really not an issue.