AIBU? Will I get arrested

[mumlearningtorun]

I’ve just come home from a girls night in London and it was so fun… we left the bar we was in and spent £1000 on brunch in and when we came back the security wouldn’t let us back in. Even though you could book a reservation online.

I was a bit frustrated and said but we’ve spent money in here all day and went to enjoy the rest of our day and spend more? Someone went to check and then another bouncer came out all angry ‘NO REENTRY’ and I asked about 6 times to speak to a manager, which I was told ‘no’ I probably got a bit annoyed but I never was violent or used any threats.

as I walked away I said ‘we’ll spend our money elsewhere then’ and that one bouncer said ‘yeh do!’

my friend went back and felt the need to apologise and the bouncers went ‘don’t worry it’s just him’ and she said she looked at his phone and it said ‘White female, aggressive, police called’

sorry? I wasn’t aggressive, anyway my friend managed to rebook a table in there to prove a point and we went back 30
minutes later and they let us in and we had a great time.

I’ve been up all night, I suffer with anxiety anyway and the police called bit is playing on my mind- my friend told me stop being silly and stop worrying as I’ve done nothing wrong.

but me being me, I’m ofc worrying!

My first thoughts are that: your friend is winding you up as a misguided joke or she's mistaken in what she thinks she saw. Pretty sure you won't be on the Mets most wanted list.

Did the police turn up? If not, I can’t imagine the metropolitan police have resources to try and track down where you live for giving lip to a bouncer.

Your friend is right.

Getting terse and asking to speak to a manager about a policy that is clearly bonkers is not a crime. You did not do anything threatening.

This is misogyny. A big bloke with too much power disliking a woman standing up to him. Small dick energy.

This made me chuckle, especially the description of Mandy and her shoe! 😄😅🤣

I think the grammar police would be more appropriate here

Honestly, just ignore the ridiculous Miss Marple’s on here. You very clearly said you had brunch. I think most people know that brunch is something you eat early in the day. Except for some bored, thick posters looking for inconsistencies in your story.

Displace the intrusive thoughts by keeping busy. They will soon quieten down. It works for me!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh OP, whilst I have zero time for annoying drunk gobby people (one of the reasons I hate going out), I can really feel your anxiety and I drive myself and my husband mad with what he considers my stupid, unnecessary anxieties.

The amount of times I've worried for days that I'm going to get a speeding ticket (for doing 41 in a 40) or maybe that light went red when I went under it, that sort of nonsense.

It sounds completely unlikely anything will come from this at all. People drunk gobbing off is par of the course for bouncers, if that is all it was. Even if the bouncer did speak to the police, it's hard enough to get them to deal with actual crime let alone this!!

As for your anxiety about it which sounds very similar to me, best way I deal with it is to imagine the absolute worst thing that could happen and then deal with that worst thing - how bad would that actually be, what is really likely to happen in that worst case, could my life go on, will I even be thinking about this in one week/a month/a year etc etc. It sounds silly but its the only non medicinal thing that helps me and I try to avoid medicinal!

Hth 💐

You won't be arrested. As you say, the security guards were wearing bodycams, so if you genuinely did nothing wrong, then the camera footage will clearly reflect this and it will be clear that there is no case to answer.

But honestly, it sounds like you were probably unnecessarily confrontational - your friend feeling the need to apologise for your behaviour reflects this, as does the security guard's note. Maybe cut down on how much you're drinking if you struggle to moderate your behaviour when drunk.

They have CCTV at the bar entrance, there is no law against what you did or said. He was just being a dick, I would say that bouncers are often on a power trip and full of testosterone and possibly steroid and are trained to get visibly drunk people away from the venue if they think there is any possibility of them escalating the issue or becoming harmful to themseves or others. You are not going to get arrested. The police may have spoke to you and if you were ranting at the police or sounded like your capcity was limited they would have come out more for your own safety, but you were not and all was well.

Youre pissed and being stupid. The police don't attend for burglary and you think theyre arresting you for mouthing at a bouncer? Lol. Go sleep it off.

Everyone piling on the OP who has said she is anxious is being a twat.

If I'd spent £1000 and the bar was empty, with the option to book tables, I'd be irritated to be told I couldn't go back in by some jobsworth bouncer.

She said she got a bit annoyed? That's not necessarily 'drunken twat' behaviour. Challenging someone for being petty is something I would do stone cold sober.

But anyway... OP, you are not going to get a follow up call ok. It's just not going to happen. The Police can barely attend all the 'live' assaults/thefts/fights they get called to, they really do not have time to follow up on someone being a bit annoying and repeatedly asking a bouncer to get in. The only exception might be if you were racist or made a physical thread. Your OP does not suggest this was the case.

In all honesty, given that there was a police van parked up anyway, and that your friend 'happened' to see text on the bouncer's phone, I would imagine that was all a show anyway. If he really wanted to involve police, he would have walked over and got one. He would have also kept his phone close to him so you couldn't see what he was doing. I think he was just trying to scare you.

Move on.

ps. YABU to eat McD on train :)

If the Police spent time finding the security guy, checking body cam footage, checking addresses and visiting them to interview every person who had a bit of an argument with door security on a Saturday night, then they would literally have no time for anything else. And you were posting fine at 6am so you weren't black out drunk a couple of hours earlier.
Need to have a good day in the fresh air today and forget about it. Maybe consider how much you drink next time.

Did you say any “hurty words”.,. She, him, her, white?
If not you’re good to go.
The Met don’t police crime don’t you know 🤷‍♀️

Your first line said you had a girls' night out and you had just come in at 5.40 am.

Oh no, I hate it when that happens.