AIBU? Will I get arrested

[mumlearningtorun]

I’ve just come home from a girls night in London and it was so fun… we left the bar we was in and spent £1000 on brunch in and when we came back the security wouldn’t let us back in. Even though you could book a reservation online.

I was a bit frustrated and said but we’ve spent money in here all day and went to enjoy the rest of our day and spend more? Someone went to check and then another bouncer came out all angry ‘NO REENTRY’ and I asked about 6 times to speak to a manager, which I was told ‘no’ I probably got a bit annoyed but I never was violent or used any threats.

as I walked away I said ‘we’ll spend our money elsewhere then’ and that one bouncer said ‘yeh do!’

my friend went back and felt the need to apologise and the bouncers went ‘don’t worry it’s just him’ and she said she looked at his phone and it said ‘White female, aggressive, police called’

sorry? I wasn’t aggressive, anyway my friend managed to rebook a table in there to prove a point and we went back 30
minutes later and they let us in and we had a great time.

I’ve been up all night, I suffer with anxiety anyway and the police called bit is playing on my mind- my friend told me stop being silly and stop worrying as I’ve done nothing wrong.

but me being me, I’m ofc worrying!

Can I ask why you care so much to comment 6 times on my post with a tone

Fretting about it won't change anything. Even if the Police did want to soeak to you (very unlikely) they aren't going to come barging in to your house all guns blazing. Maybe put your energy into doing something constructive today instead of focusing on worse-case situations that are not likely to happen.

To be fair you didnt really fit the profile of an “anxious” person last night having a drunken aggressive argument with a bouncer!

Actually, I got in at 22:30- but me making a post after being a sleep, and waking up in the middle of the night isn’t the point of this

Spending money does not mean rules don't apply to you

Life doesn't work that way

Still not sure what you think you would be arrested for

Oh don’t spoil it with logic!

It just felt silly that we had spent money in a bar, that clearly had seating available and space, when 3/4 bouncers were speaking to the host to sort a table, until the 4th came darting out shouting ‘ NO RE ENTRY!’ - I’m not saying rules don’t apply to me, it’s just silly we then had to rebook to get back in? - I’m glad we did go back in, as it’s a great bar to dance in with a few drinks. I actually thanked the bouncers on the way out and said we had a great time. The one in question wasn’t there when we left, when we re entered he was stood by the DJ

So what will you arrested for?

OP- is this experience common for you? I mean, the anxiety about what you did the night before after drinking?

If so, you likely already suffer from anxiety and this is whats called "moral scrupulosity ocd" where you get caught up in looping intrusive thoughts about doing a bad thing.

People reassuring you that you wont be arrested is unfortunately continuing the cycle of anxiety and reinforcing it, so that next time it happens you will need more reassurance but it wont ever fully get rid of your doubt.

Alcohol's effect on the brain and the release of cortisol and stress hormones makes this 100 times worse so I would really consider reducing your alcohol consumption. Not because you have done anything wrong but because a night out drinking simply isnt worth this kind of rumination and worry the day afterwards.

Are you sure your friend wasn't just shit stirring?
Surely she wouldn't have been able to read the phone that well.
And also who knows whether it applies to you or an early situation.

I don’t know, I’m now overthinking everything because I’m wondering why he put ‘police called’ if it was about me… my anxiety is telling me it is

Your friend sounds inconsiderate for sharing this with you, given your anxiety.

I also suspect she has misread or misremembered. It sounds like back-up security was called (not police), you described that yourself.

In any case, if the police didn't arrive there and then, they won't be pursuing this. It would've been a very quiet night if they'd turned up to what you described.

Arrest would require a crime.
If they have cameras, that's even better as it would show that nothing other than a verbal exchange happened.
If the police was already there and he went to them, clearly nothing happened.

--
It's extremely improbable that you'd be contacted about it. But if you were, it wouldn't mean arresting you, it would mean asking about your side of the story.

Thank you. I mean there was already a police van outside, so I’m thinking maybe with logic it was about something else/ someone else. When we went back in the aggy security guard didn’t even look at me for more than a few seconds in passing, if you know what I mean.

im just worried the police will contact me in the following days

Ok so if the police do contact you in the following days, so what? You co-operate and give your version of events and they file it away.

I just want to know if it’s likely 😭

They often let people back in ti a place, allow them to carry on drinking and spending money and then arrest them.days later for being gobby. Especially when there's already a police van outside. I'd go and hand yourself in to the local station to avoid having to wait for the dreaded knock in the door if I were you

What a load of dramatic bull shit.

The only "crimes" were going asking to speak to the manager 6 times. And then rebooking a place who clearly didnt want your custom.

So you've just recognised that if your friend read that on the device (hmmm), then it was clearly about a different woman as the police did turn up for someone and didn't speak to you.

Move on. Reconsider that friendship.

I don’t think the typing on his phone was about you, probably someone else earlier in the evening. It sounds like you were annoying at most, the bouncers will be used to that! There is absolutely no way you will be arrested. Have some tea and toast and a hot bath and watch something comforting on tv. You will feel less anxious tomorrow. Oh, and ignore the judgemental posters shaming you. Most of us have had a bit to much to drink at one time or another and said or done something we regretted. Your experience sounds pretty tame and harmless to me. You haven’t hurt anyone. Everything will be okay.

You haven’t committed a crime. If the bouncers had body cams then they will have footage of you arguing a bit, that’s it. If the police didn’t talk to you when you were there then I think there’s almost no chance they will be interested in this, if the note on the phone was even about you

YABVU to have McDonald's on a train.

I imagine the mean bouncer just didn't like the look of your group and was aware you all already had a lot of booze in you! Police won't care. What law do you think you could have broken?

Because you badgering a security and asking the same question 6 times - just such an embarrassing scene. No the police won’t be called but honestly - this is such childish cheap behaviour. People would have been looking at this gaggle of pissed women who’d been drinking all day and either been chuckling to themselves or thinking FGS grow up.

You might want to get your story straight before the police come! About your friend seeing the message, you said:
it’s only when I got home and she said ‘I’m shocked you got back in, because his phone had this’
But then
My friend said it straight away, so I know she would’ve seen it
Which was it?
You said: "we was home by 22:30" but said "I’ve just come home from a girls night" at 5.40am in your OP. Which was it?

I bet the mess in the carriage after they left was awful. I imagine anyone in this carriage would have swiftly moved.

The story doesn’t make sense because the reality will present the situation in a very different light. Pissed, difficult embarrassing gaggle headed up by an OP in the face of the security guard breathing Prosecco fumes over him asking him the same question 6 times