AIBU? Will I get arrested

[mumlearningtorun]

I’ve just come home from a girls night in London and it was so fun… we left the bar we was in and spent £1000 on brunch in and when we came back the security wouldn’t let us back in. Even though you could book a reservation online.

I was a bit frustrated and said but we’ve spent money in here all day and went to enjoy the rest of our day and spend more? Someone went to check and then another bouncer came out all angry ‘NO REENTRY’ and I asked about 6 times to speak to a manager, which I was told ‘no’ I probably got a bit annoyed but I never was violent or used any threats.

as I walked away I said ‘we’ll spend our money elsewhere then’ and that one bouncer said ‘yeh do!’

my friend went back and felt the need to apologise and the bouncers went ‘don’t worry it’s just him’ and she said she looked at his phone and it said ‘White female, aggressive, police called’

sorry? I wasn’t aggressive, anyway my friend managed to rebook a table in there to prove a point and we went back 30
minutes later and they let us in and we had a great time.

I’ve been up all night, I suffer with anxiety anyway and the police called bit is playing on my mind- my friend told me stop being silly and stop worrying as I’ve done nothing wrong.

but me being me, I’m ofc worrying!

It’ll be fine. I agree with the poster who referenced their OCD. I’m like this. I pick over everything afterwards and my mind spirals out of control. I skimmed the side of a taxi at about 5mph coming out of the library car park. Insurance details were exchanged. I was a bit embarrassed, but otherwise all was ok. I promptly went home and convinced myself that the taxi driver and his passenger were hurt and would put in massive claims and I wouldn’t be able to afford my insurance. And I might end up getting points on my licence etc etc. Even the man from the insurance company commented on what a worrier I was when he came out to assess the damage.

You haven’t committed a crime. You won’t be arrested. Try and relax!

And literally every response has said its not likely. Why ask the question if you don't believe people when they tell you the Police A- have better things to do and B- would have dealt with it in the moment if they were going to do anything.

Maybe I am unsympathetic towards people with genuine anxiety but I really dont understand why you are giving this so much thought. Its a non-issue. You were pissed and mouthy just like hundreds of other people on a Saturday night. Stop drinking if it causes this level of spiralling the next day.

Thats how OCD works.

People seek reassurance over and over again and it momentarily soothes until another intrusive thought comes in and then you need more reassurance.

It isn't likely at all. The doorman would have had more than you to deal with that night, which is why he didn't want to start to try to get you back in. The Police were called for someone else. Doorman at different venues are in communication. She might have been headed up to where you were, from another venue. As said this is beer fear.

Well someone like this shouldn’t get drunk
because pestering a security asking the same question 6 times (if the Op admits to 6 times we can be pretty sure it was many times more than that) is just shitty childish behaviour

Oh I really don’t miss beer fear!

London on a Saturday, large groups of woman and brunches… chaos! I’ve done my fair share of brunches and have seen and done all sorts in the past.

your situation is such a non story. And it’s the alcohol that’s swaying your mind. This bouncer probably has this sort of thing weekly if not worse.

do you think if the police was called they would of allowed you back into the bar?

id address your anxiety/ocd. I’m now on sertraline and it has been life changing.

Why did you want to go back?
Drink less.

Those sound like intrusive thoughts. If the situation is as you described there is nothing to involve the police. I know it’s easier said than done but please try not to torture yourself.

Because no where else would have them

Have you not been reading the news lately? It’s pretty hard to get arrested in London or anywhere else for antisocial behaviour. It seems the police are using a lot of their resources chasing down ‘hurty word’ crimes on Twitter . . .
I’m thinking you’ll be fine and if you’re not then contest it - the fact they let you back in would seem to negate the suggestion of any offence having been committed.

You're not going to get arrested.
I do think you need to do a bit of naval gazing, though- You're obviously quite an argumentative drunk, and that really doesn't sit well with your anxiety! Asking six times to see the manager is troublesome and pointless. I know you won't like hearing this and that you're dismissive of those who have pointed it out on here, but it's true that we all know the type of person who stands arguing with a bouncer, when they've already given you a clear answer. It's not a good look, it's not reasonable and the fact that you got gobby is making you feel crap today. If you didn't feel you'd done anything wrong, you wouldn't suspect that the bouncer was referring to you on the writing on his phone.

What car was she in?

It’s dawned on me why this gaggle were so desperate to return to this venue….

No where else was letting them in!!!

I dont understand the typing on the phone bit - was the bouncer emailing the police?

Your anxiety means that whatever people say, you are unable to accept their answer, and use it as further fuel to explore the 'what ifs'. None of us were there, and crucially, none of us can put your mind at ease.
Learn now to sit with the anxiety. Accept you cannot change the past, allow yourself 15 minutes of worry then mentally put it in a box and do some grounding. Tell your mind out loud 'thank you for trying to protect me, but I am.safe now and you can stop'. Keep doing that until it replaces the intrusive thoughts.
And really consider quitting alcohol - some people are just too sensitive to it's effects, and there's no shame in it, but it makes anxiety much worse

Bloody hell. Give it a rest. Every other post on this thread is you gobbing off. You’re acting just like the OP!

Fair point!

Anxiety after drinking is horrible. You need to have a message in your head every time you start spiralling. Something like "this is just the physical effects of alcohol, i didnt do anything the police will be called for"

Get some food and a shower, some fresh air a bit later, keep yourself distracted it will pass.

The note was for a separate interaction, I’d say.

Bouncers have two issues. Women kick off and then claim they were assaulted, so usually in London you see a male and female bouncer working and she deals with the women. They take careful notes to protect themselves from accusation more than as data points for the police.

They also have a network of bouncers in the area and message about troublemakers. Next a troublemaker will find themselves barred from entry everywhere. The fact you and your mates got back in demonstrates to me this note was NOT about you. He may have said it was to your mate for drama or she might have been mistaken given she was drinking all day.

Anyjow enjoy the rest of your weekend and RELAX! There is zero chance the police are involved here.

Nothing wrong with spending that amount if you can afford it. Not every one is skint

Ok for sober people to be vile from behind a keyboard though?

Dont think that makes you a better person. If nothing helpful to say scroll on rather than kicking someone when they are down.

Ha! Well spotted. Love it when smug, rude, self declared pedants are caught out😅 Always proof read when you’re criticising other people’s SPAG I reckon!