AIBU to feel angry after my ex took the car back?

[Walkerss]

So 3 years ago my ex left me for somebody else, I have finally got to a place where I am happy, the kids are happy and all is going well.

when we were a couple we made an agreement that I would pay nursery fees and he would pay the finance on my car. Obviously since the split there have been constant threats to take the car and last night he turned up and demanded the keys. I gave them to him and instantly felt relieved that he didn’t have anything else on me. However school is quite a drive away since I moved area and I told him I wouldn’t be able to take them to school. His response was, not my problem, I can take them on my days so it’s nothing to do with him.

how can he be so evil?! At least warn me so I had time to get a car. I hate him!

All about control

Was the car in his name?

Yes it was. To be honest it’s not really about the car , surely he wouldn’t want the kids to struggle?

If you split three years ago and he’s been paying for the car all that time (and presumably he is the legal owner?) I’m surprised he let you have it for three years.

bus/bike/walk for school?

It was paid for by the time we split.

Are you still paying nursery fees?

It’s his car. He’s the one with hassle around it. I wouldn’t want someone else driving a car that I didn’t have anything to do with.

who paid the insurance? Was the agreement that you’d keep it for ever?

Can you not sort a car out for yourself?

I think you should have taken control years ago and sorted your own car.

No, I’ve paid for the mot’s and if anything goes wrong with it. I pay for the insurance etc.

Is he paying maintenance

Yes

Who got it in the divorce settlement? If there's no divorce because you weren't married and it's in his name, tough shit really.

Do you tell the insurer that you don’t own the car? Isn’t that expensive?

personally as I said, I wouldn’t want someone I’d no connection to driving my car. My partner drives mine now and again and I his but that’s all I’d want. If we split I’d not exoect to keep his car.

I think you’ve been very fortunate that you’ve had the car this long - he’s been nice enough to let you have it until now. Appreciate you pay the MOTs and insurance, but it’s time for you to sort out a car for yourself now.

Did he have to buy a car when you split?

No he had a car

Is he paying enough

Was the agreement written down? Did you expect it to carry on for ever post split? Were you married?

well we had agreement as I think that is what happens as a couple. I also went part time to help us out as a couple at the time. I think what he has done is absolutely terrible

So you weren’t married……..

Why? Were you expecting to be financially linked for ever post split?

But it’s his car as it’s in his name? You’re 3 years post split, I’m not surprised he took it back.

You should’ve sorted this out when you split. If it was paid for, and he has a car, why didn’t you transfer it into your name at the time you split up?

So sorry, it is awful. The kind of person who leaves his wife and kids is likely to always put himself first and be awful. I am so sad for you and your kids having to deal with someone like this. He will suffer eventually-the kids will realise what a bad person he was to leave you, but that doesn't help now. Can you ask friends/family for a lift? His mum and dad must be so ashamed of him, are they local enough to help? Or are they are bad as him?