To not let DS12 go to a waterpark with friends

[PumpkinPost]

DS has an opportunity to go to a water park with a group without me. He is non-sporty and not a particularly strong swimmer (in stage 4 swimming lessons). He loves water parks but has only been with me/DH.

I’ve never been particularly water confident and get a bit anxious about DC in pools - I always watch them like a hawk.I can even feel a bit nervy when they are at their swimming lessons.

I really don’t feel that comfortable letting him go to a waterpark on his own, but I don’t know if that is a reasonable judgement as his swimming is fairly weak, or whether I am projecting my own anxiety!

AIBU to think he shouldn’t go?

Weak swimmer - nope.

Will there be any adults with them ?
If not definitely No.
It's not worth it.
So many water accidents esp with young males.

I declined this for my DD and I think she was a reasonably strong swimmer at the time

Waterparks have different risks with behaviour and equipment and I reasoned at the time my DD had not been to one so didn’t know what to expect or how to confidently navigate risks and I didn’t feel able to trust the other parents - who are lovely btw but at the time we didn’t know much

Risk v consequence ratio is also a factor - a child could die

No decent waterpark would let in several 12yos without an adult. If it’s for a pre booked event (bday party) an adult has to be present on the booking and the lifeguards (who are often not that much older themselves!) aren’t childminders, so nobody would be watching your child like a hawk. If my child wasn’t a strong swimmer it would be a no from me anyway, nothing to do with their age.

Won't the group need an adult?

No, they’re far too young.

I have a 12yo and it's great fun for a few of them together independently but for me, Stage 4 isn't a strong enough swimmer.

It’s part of a trip with scouts so there will be adults but I am not expecting close supervision at all times.

So it’s water activities, on a lake type thing, not a waterpark with rides?
If it’s supervised activities with life jackets and instructor, presumably they’d need to be at a certain level of water ability before being allowed on the trip anyway? I think I’d feel this was ok if an organised group such as the scouts together with a reputable and experienced host company at the water park.

No it’s a swimming pool with slides, lazy river - that kind of thing.

He’s been on structured water-based activities like paddle-boarding before when they are wearing life vests and the activity is well supervised, that doesn’t worry me in the same way.

Op they'll have adults looking over them and lifeguards.
I think your over estimating the risks here. Highly unusual for anything to go wrong in a pool.

A scout trip should be well supervised and fully risk assessed so I’d be ok about that.

Hmm, I see why you're pausing but I think I'd be okay with this.

My DD hated swimming lessons and only got to stage 4 but that does mean they can swim without assistance doesn't it, even if they're not particularly strong. And a 12 year old will be tall enough to stand up in all the water at the end of slides, lazy river etc - they'd only be out of their depth in the deep end of the actual swimming pool bit.

I think the tragic accidents I've heard of this year have all been in the sea or lakes, not indoor swimming pools. The only tragedy I remember at a UK water park involved a pre-schooler who presumably couldn't swim at all.

I can see both sides though, even though I'm sure he'd be fine.

Ok, so back to my original answer, then it would still be a no from me, as they’re not a strong enough swimmer. It’s not enough to just rely on the presence of lifeguards. Your dc will possibly feel a bit afraid in that environment if not fully water confident, which will knock the edge off any fun anyway.

The waterpark may have different wrist bands according to their swimming ability and weaker swimmers have to stay in certain zones. Check this out.
There will be lots of lifeguards too and you could check with the scout leaders if there are other weaker swimmers?
Is your DS comfortable going?

He’s fearless and would love it! The fact he is fearless is part of my worry though!

I’m pretty sure these type of water parks don’t have deep water do they? They are aimed for kids/teens so he would always have his feet on the floor.
I wouldn’t worry, honestly.

On a scout trip surely it’s risk assessed? I thought you meant he was just going with friends

He swims lengths of the pool in lessons and is very confident in water, it’s not like he can’t swim. But he doesn’t have much in the way of strength or stamina

He’s going with adults. If you’re that concerned volunteer to go with them.

Why not volunteer as a helper for the trip that way you have some control over it and it will make you feel better. I understand your fears, a good compromise is to attend as a helper and keep an eye out.

i don’t know about stages in swimming but if he’s swimming lengths and it’s a scout group, I would allow it

I don’t think that is an option (they have never asked for volunteers on trips and I don’t think I practically could, even if they did want extra help).

Your OP implied he was going without an adult. Then you say it's a Scouts trip! Of course he will be fine. They won't be holding his hand and hovering over him but i would hope you wouldn't either at his age. They will however be watching the group and be there is anything goes wrong. Along with the large number of staff and lifeguards who usually whistle at the slightest risky behaviour. Let the kid go have some fun.