To not let DS12 go to a waterpark with friends

[PumpkinPost]

DS has an opportunity to go to a water park with a group without me. He is non-sporty and not a particularly strong swimmer (in stage 4 swimming lessons). He loves water parks but has only been with me/DH.

I’ve never been particularly water confident and get a bit anxious about DC in pools - I always watch them like a hawk.I can even feel a bit nervy when they are at their swimming lessons.

I really don’t feel that comfortable letting him go to a waterpark on his own, but I don’t know if that is a reasonable judgement as his swimming is fairly weak, or whether I am projecting my own anxiety!

AIBU to think he shouldn’t go?

Yet another thread where an anxious parent is limiting their child. Poor kids.

I would send him as he wants to go and talk to the scout leaders about it. I thought you meant going just with friends, but as there will be adults there I think you should let him try and have a discussion beforehand about safety e.g. check the depths of different pools, slides.

Contact the scouts people to explain your concerns and see what they say. Im sure they would have done a risk assessment.

You are projecting your own insecurities on your child. A few slides and lazy river is not going to require huge stamina and swimming skills. I would 100% let him go.

Also, start taking him to the pool more often so he improves his swimming, it’s a valuable skill and he’s only 12, time to learn.

I was quite overprotective and I’d let my kid go to this based on it being a scout trip. Life is for living, holding him back will not do him any favours.

from your op I thought you meant just a group of boys but with the scouts that’s entirely different

don’t make him scared of everything in this day and age, it’ll backfire later.

Actually now I know it's a Scout trip and there's another layer of supervision - plus what you've said about how far he can swim - I'd speak to the leaders about his ability and take my lead from them a bit more.

I agree. You are seeking excuses for your own anxiety @PumpkinPostand the only person who will miss out is your DS.

I’ve just been to a water park where all the slides came out in what they referred to as bins . Which meant no slide entering a pool like any previous park I’ve visited ( I love water parks) my two lads 8&10 would not have been allowed to go around a WP on there own previously but the bin style was superb from a safety aspect and I let then roam freely.

Maybe worth looking at the specific park before making the call. I am involved with scouting also and the current state of play after the great orme incident is that they will be ultra cautious. End you the day your boy your call x

Yes absolutely. These places have the slides going into small areas or flumes. You can you touch the ground at lazy river

And they are usually strict. Well the ones I went to. Full life guards

If worried have a look around before or pay to go separately.

If it’s with scouts, that’s ok. Why dont you offer to
go and help?

If he wants to go I think you should let him. If he can swim and tread water there's not really a good reason for him to miss it.

This definitely. Your anxiety is clouding your judgement on this one.

We recently hosted a party for my 14yo DS at a water park and they all wore life jackets regardless of ability. Surely this is the solution?

Yes, if he can swim a length or two in a lesson he can swim to the edge of a pool or a place he can stand up. His confidence is actually a good thing here not a bad thing.

the scout leaders/lifeguards won’t let him do anything genuinely dangerous at a waterpark.

If he has survived paddle boarding and similar and had a good time then this sounds more than appropriate for him.

The scouts would usually ask for minimum 50m declaration by parents before allowing this. You can ask to see their risk assessment.

Many scout and children’s groups may want even helpers to have a group specific DBS . I know ours did that was to be on site at camp to make 100 sandwiches!!

Yes I’d let a 12YO that is capable of swimming 1-2 lengths of a swimming pool go on a supervised scouts trip to an indoor water park. Lazy rivers are not deep; at 12 he’ll be able to walk round it if he wants. Slides go into small non deep areas. None of it requires stamina. There will be staff and lifeguards everywhere not to mention the scout leaders.

There could be one or two slides into deeper water, but even then as long as he's confident about jumping in and being in deep water, he will have enough stamina to get himself out of a plunge pool if he's happy swimming 25m lengths. I'd chat to the leaders about that and flag up that he's borderline as a swimmer.

Most of an indoor waterpark will be accessible to him and suitable for a 12yo with basic swimming ability.

We've taken Brownies swimming and to waterparks many times. They are smaller, with fewer strong swimmers and we have u8 ratios to consider too. We swim test those that think they are confident and allocate them to groups with leaders, with increased ratio on the weak/ non-swimmers. The confident (and tested) swimmers are still supervised even though they tend to be old enough within pool ratios. We only do it as an activity when we can clearly cover ratios comfortably (good leader coverage and unit skewing older, more experienced) bearing in mind that Brownies are smaller and weaker than Scouts.

A group of scouts is very different to a lone group of peers as they will be aware of the increased supervision and behave better knowing that there are potential consequences like not being able to go on trips again.

In scouts you have to tick on the health forms to if he can swim 50m. Is that ticked? As a leader myself if you'd ticked no then my risk assessment would be that group would have more adults supervising them. You can always speak with the leaders they've probably taken groups here before. Honestly I'd send him, he'll either love it and it'll push him to learn quicker or he'll hate it and not want to do it again.

So an indoor pool with clear water, good visibility, in the UK. And it's a scout trip, accompanied by adults.

My ds is a pool life guard at a pool with slides etc. If it's any comfort, multiple lifeguards watch each pool intently. They work in 15 minute shifts swapping in and out because of the level of concentration required.

Their average time in training for getting someone above the water in an emergency is 7 seconds. And they seldom allow an emergency to arise, making sure any foolish behaviour is blocked or stopped asap.

In this long hot summer they have had only one incident when a guard has had to enter the water.

I'd flag your ds' weak swimming to the scout leader but then let him go.

It would be a shame for him not to go when he wants to. It’s an organised scout trip. Plus there will be life guards there. Water not particularly deep. Plus he can swim 50m. He doesn’t need swimming stamina at a water park. Yes I think your anxiety is clouding your judgement. Have a word with the scout leaders. You could take him beforehand is there’s time to check it out.

My son made no progress at swimming for years. We stopped for a while and started at another class. He progressed a bit quicker. He then did swimming at school for every day for a couple of weeks and progress after that was very marked. He doesn’t like swimming but he can swim now. Can you do an intense course every day over October half term?

He can swim a length...thats more than enough to get out of an dangerous position.

How many deaths have you ever heard of at uk water parks. Kids drown in the sea, rivers and docks where there are lots of uncontrolled risks. There are no risks here.

Having been involved in scouts about 20 years ago i know of a leader who quit because everything was too safety conscious....we couldn't even let the kids use a penknife to cut string. So they will have assessed it too

Is it an indoor one? Surely an adult would have to drive them there? Id let him go if an adult was there, having a coffee etc...or why dont you offer to drive or take them but keep your distance?

I don’t think scouts would be able to take them without a proper risk assessment and enough people to help supervise.

I think you are being a bit anxious here as it’s not just a group of 12 year olds going by themselves

Its a Scouts trip!

I get that this is a bit scary. I hate letting my kids swim or do water activities without me too but they have so much fun that I just try and allow it if I think it's lower risk/ has good safety precautions.

Could you take them to the pool so you can assess the risk before or do a virtual tour. The pool near me is never deep enough my 12 year old is out of depth except the pool at the end of one slide which has a lifeguard constantly posted there to monitor it. On that basis I would then say ok to a scout trip.

Alternatively I would flag they are not strong swimmers to the scout leaders and they will monitor more closely.

And failing all that we would "unfortunately be busy that day already".