To not let DS12 go to a waterpark with friends

[PumpkinPost]

DS has an opportunity to go to a water park with a group without me. He is non-sporty and not a particularly strong swimmer (in stage 4 swimming lessons). He loves water parks but has only been with me/DH.

I’ve never been particularly water confident and get a bit anxious about DC in pools - I always watch them like a hawk.I can even feel a bit nervy when they are at their swimming lessons.

I really don’t feel that comfortable letting him go to a waterpark on his own, but I don’t know if that is a reasonable judgement as his swimming is fairly weak, or whether I am projecting my own anxiety!

AIBU to think he shouldn’t go?

On his own at 12. Absolutely not

this is your prompt to get your son decent swimming lessons. when he’s 15/16/17 you’ll be less able to stop him

Of course he should go. It’s a supervised Scouts trip and your DS can swim 50m, and it’s in a water park with lifeguards. Your title was very misleading.

In England parent volunteers are allowed to help but can't be left alone with kids.

In Scotland everyone must have a PVG. Which changed this year.

Water park with inflatables like where that poor young girl died getting trapped underneath and it turned out there were no proper safeguards in place or even goggles ?

Your thread title and OP are misleading. You made it sound like he was going just with friends the same age! If he's going with a scout group they will be supervised and he will be fine.

I’d let him go. He can swim, even if not a strong swimmer. There will be lifeguards. There will be scout leaders. There will have been a risk assessment. If he was asking to go to the beach with his friends for the day that would be a definite big no.

So they do bring adults and supervision? I would be fine with me but not alone as a group of young boys

With Scouts in an organised trip?

Let him go.

Yes, let him go.

They won't be allowed to go without a risk assessment! The waterpark won't allow them to have a session without enough adults to supervise and there will be lifeguards if it's a scout session (cos there's no way a decent scout risk assessment will get away without having lifeguards as an essential requirement).

Organised Scouts trip in an indoor pool which will have life guards sounds fine for a 12 year old. Very different from an inflatable obstacle course in a lake which may seem more risky - but even oversight of these has increased since some high profile tragedies- which are probably the source of your concern.
Not much swimming needed for slides - and if he can swim lengths and is keen to go, it sounds fine.

He is 12 years old, he can swim 25-50m, he is confident in the water and it is a scout trip with adult supervision. This is definitely your anxiety and it would be wrong of you to stop him going.

It is things like this that will help him build strength and stamina.

You are projecting your own anxiety. Even your OP and thread title show that as it’s making sound as if he’s going with a bunch of mates with no supervision as a “weak” swimmer. That’s what you made it be in your head. In fact, he’s going with Scouts, so several adults to supervise and risk assess and he CAN swim.

Can you go along and have a coffee on the side while they swim? In my scouts parents often tag along to stuff to 'help'

I let my daughter go to a pool with slides with brownies when she was about age 8.

If he’s confident in water and can swim, he should be fine, op. I don’t think you have to be an endurance swimmer for a water park!

The OP is written in a way in order to get posters to validate and agree with the OPs anxiety.

It deliberately did not give crucial details, in order to lead posters and validate the OP.

None of this is in the best interests of the boy. The OPs concept of risk is way off reality. It is all about her parental anxiety.

The OP should be looking to control her anxiety not control her child as it will set him up for problems in the future if she persists.

DH is a scout leader. He has more issues with the anxiety of parents than the ability of the kids. He gets frustrated with parents who baby their children and say their kids can't do x, when he's seen their kid do x really well. The problem is that kids will often match parents expectations when their parents are there.

A friend who is a yr6 teacher says similar when she takes kids away on residential. She says it's really interesting to see which kids dive right into the adventurous stuff and which are more cautious. Often it's the cocky kids that falter and the ones whose parents say their darling can't possibly abseil because they are scared of heights, who volunteer to go first!

It is an organised trip. The leisure centre does not want an organised group trip to go wrong because it looks bad for them. The scout leaders do not want an organised group trip to go wrong because they are liable and answerable. Therefore the risks here are minimal because everyone concerned wants to cover their own arses.

Parental anxiety is something that is getting worse. Cub and Scout groups are reporting that they are finding it harder to do more adventurous activities that they have done for year without issues - not because they can't do a risk assessment, not because the kids don't want to do it - but because the parental attitude has changed.

We talk about kids having much more issues with anxiety and blame it on school and social pressure. We don't have this conversation about growing parental anxiety and increased babying to age inappropriate levels and the impact on children.

We should.

Isn't this some of what the Scouts are about? Building ability, confidence, independence? Let him go, OP, he'll have a ball.

Yep.

She's trying to undermine his confidence and not allow him to develop independence.

So he’s actually a decent swimmer
going on a visit with supervising adults. Yes I’d let him go. The issue here isnt him, its OP and her anxiety clouding her judgment.

This

And this

I voted YANBU but I thought it was in a lake. In a pool yes absolutely is be ok with this

That's enough to get him to the edge of pool surely? It's not an endurance test

I would,be maybe been a bit concerned and said no if he was a non swimmer and no adults present, but a scout group and he can swim a bit no issue