Resentment over benefits and household costs when I am sole earner

[Moneyproblemgiraffe]

Im having money problems with dh.
I am the only worker in the family.
Dh gets esa and pip.

We used to have him as a higher earner before he couldn't work. But I made about 60/70% of what he did.
But now I need to pay for everything, rent, bills, subscriptions, debts,phones, travel, food.
Honestly after a big shop I probably have £300 left for the month.
Dh gets about £1000 in benefits a month that we then need to rely on for food and extra stuff for the rest of the month.

He resents this so much as it's his money.
My money is paid into joint account only some of his is.
I'm feeling so resentful.
We live in the SE and rent so v expensive.
We have 2 dds, 1 off to uni and the other at college. Plus cats and dogs.
He does walk the dogs and sometimes clean but I do all the 'mental work' laundry cooking.
He has no pensions so it's not even going to get better.
Arghh not really an aibu but im tired

It might interest you to know that when a spouse gets ill a husband is far more likely to leave than a wife.

If you were a man, would you stay with him?

He sounds selfish and entitled. What’s yours is his (pays for his house, food, children) and what’s his is his.

This is not ok.

No cleaner, garden, adaptation to home, wheelchair, roller, crutches, chairs, extra stools, garden chair, supplements, physio, chriopactor, ice packs etc, remote control for plugs, private items, got some stuff so I can have sex. Taxis this list goes on. I have spine cord injury don't stereotype the disabled that is fascist........I can understand why she is annoyed he should share the esa. And put the pip for a cleaner and extra food costs of being at home.........if people are milking the system then report them, you can report me I have strong medical recent dr letter. All ready have a appointment for September 2027 to get this spine cord injury is not getting worse.

If he's wanting 'HIS' money then tell him you want 'YOUR' money & that you can both put the shared amount in to cover household costs then what ever is left from individual income is 'His' or 'Your' money to do as you please with. He'll soon realised it won't work that way & want to share income. Tell him that unless all of the money he gets in benefits etc goes in to the shared pot you'll not be covering all the outgoings from your income & that he needs to cough up more. He sounds a selfish twat that needs to be doing more around the house to ease the load a bit for you.

WTF its Your money, the cheeky twat

Do a spreadsheet of the monthly costs. Split according to income.
Eg if you get 3k and he gets 1k, then his share is 25% of the bills.
He can't live for free.

You should also be able to claim special benefits for your 17 year old who has autism.

Plus as you are the main breadwinner with 3 dependants and high rent to pay, you personally should be able to claim sone Universal Credit towards your rent.