She took me to her abortion and is pregnant again couple weeks later

[Peaceofmind12]

My friend had an abortion last month, as she had been with this guy for two months and in that time, her beat her up and was verbally abusing her. She wanted me to come with her which I did. I don’t know why, but for some reason I found the whole experience a little traumatising but I never said anything to her about how all of it made me feel as she was going through a lot. Her abusive boyfriend was constantly calling me to get to her, she was crying loads and I was emotional support as she wanted to terminate the pregnancy so the guy could not ruin her life. Couple weeks later she is back with him and pregnant again after the abortion. She keeps saying she wants me to support her etc but I’ve completely checked out. I don’t know what she’s doing I think she’s making a mistake and I just don’t know what to say to her.

i feel conflicted as I feel like I’m not being a good friend by not congratulating her. But at the same time I’m so taken back we went to the clinic to terminate the other pregnancy so she could get away from him and now she’s back with him and pregnant again

How could she know she was pregnant again so soon if she only had the abortion last month

Bullshit

Congratulating her for what? It sounds like a real mess.
If she's a good friend, I'd perhaps continue to offer support on some level, but probably wouldn't accompany her to another abortion. The fact that the boyfriend is calling you is troubling too - is it feasible that you could ignore the calls or block him if this starts again?

I get what you’re saying 100% but if she is in an abusive relationship, I’d be reluctant to cut ties. If she ever needs help to get out you might be a life line for her, he’d probably love for her to be isolated from family and friends.

I was there during the abortion. The professional told her not to have sex after having an abortion as her body could ovulate early and she would be fertile . She said she wouldn’t but did go on to have sex after and fell pregnant again

You can still have positive pregnancy tests up to 6 weeks after a abortion, sure it's not that?

This baby she is keeping. She’s telling me she’s super excited but I just think it’s a mistake. And I feel like a bad friend for not being happy but I know it’s gonna end in tears

I would be clear that I will be thinking of her but I do not support her relationship or pregnancy. No way would I be saying congratulations - what good is there bringing an innocent baby into that shit show?

I don't think that's possible is it to get pregnant and know you are pregnant 2 weeks after an abortion? Did she definitely go through with the abortion?

I say you need to be there for her as a friend and to do all you can to convince her to get out of this relationship ASAP. No good will come form this relationship, he will not change, it will get worse, especially if pregnancy is involved.

A bad friend would encourage this relationship. She's making a terrible mistake.

Also block him from your phone/social media.

Bullshit. There’s no physical way she could know she was pregnant so soon after a termination.

She will likely still be testing positive after the abortion so I doubt she's pregnant.

Please tell me this isn’t a “pro life” propaganda post! (Apologies to the OP if it’s genuine)

Well I guess if she's keeping the baby that's her decision and you don't need to be explicitly happy or unhappy for her. Surely she wouldn't expect you to see her news as exciting when you've just accompanied her to an abortion and know her partner is abusive. I would try and keep some distance from it but be supportive as a friend where you can - check in to see how she is, etc.

@APinkPosey I don’t think she’s lying it would be 5 weeks since she has the abortion. I’m trying to find the dates. She had sex after having the abortion in the time they said she would likely ovulate and now she took a pregnancy test yesterday which is positive

I would steer clear of this friend.

In what clinic do they allow friends in to watch the procedure? There are strict rules around visiting, even partners are rarely allowed in.

She's probably not pregnant. A positive pregnancy test after an abortion is more likely to be due to the hormones from the previous pregnancy.

If this is real, you need to step back. You can’t help her.

Op didn't say she watched the procedure?

@MissMoneyFairy they let me be there while scanning her and then they gave her medication to take at home

I held my mates hand when she had hers. She took the pills.

@Lexy2345 how long does it stay positive for as I will say this to her ?

It's still a pretty tight turnaround, but I guess you can do very early tests these days, you used to have to wait until a missed period.

Anyway, the timings are sort of besides the point, whether she is pregnant or not and whether this is still the original pregnancy, a new one or a false one, she needs to get away from this man immediately, she does not need you to congratulate or celebrate with her, this is a massive error of judgement on her behalf and setting a child up for a lifetime of living with appalling parents (although if she sorts herself out hopefully your friend will be a great mum one day with the right person). She may not see it now and may ditch you as a friend, but I'd always be there checking in to make sure she is alright as she more than likely won't be.

In the clinic? Did you stay until the pills worked, I've never seen this being offered.

She’s in an abusive relationship so likely doesn’t have the presence of mind yo make clear decisions. It’s true that you’re more fertile after a termination so I can see it’s likely.

I would tell her that she made the right choice the first time and should do it again, that you’ll be there for her when it all goes to shit again but want some space now because you are so upset to see her having a baby with her abuser.

maybe check in in a couple of months. She’s got plenty of time for another abortion