Avoid In-laws because of jokes about my appearance

[butterfly245]

I have always been short, which my in-laws have always found hilarious. Whenever I see them there are comments on my heights, comparing me to the children, jokes etc etc. sometimes I laugh it off, sometimes I roll my eyes, but on a couple of occasions I have actually made it clear I don’t find it funny. One family member once asked me if I mind it and when I said I didn’t like it they stopped. The others haven’t (the children now join in).

I didn’t go to the last family occasion because I’m getting tired of it (it’s been over 10 years). I told DH and said I was happy for him to go and to take the kids too, but he said he didn’t want to (it’s a 2 hour drive and they’re not particularly close). When he told his SIL (just said we couldn’t come) she expressed some disappointment. We have one of the kids (teenager) coming to visit soon and I don’t know how to respond if any comments come up.

I’d love some advice on how to handle future comments. AIBU to be irritated to the point of avoiding them or should I get a thicker skin?

When ever any of them mention your height just reply 'Are you not bored with all that now. I'm not going to grow anymore so please give it a rest, it's getting boring after this many years. I've not mentioned anything about your weight, your figure, your bad sense of dress (whatever you can use to put them down) so I'd appreciate it if my height is not mentioned ever again thanks' Say it in a stern no none sense voice so they know you're not joking around

Get one of these T-shirts.

Thanks so much everyone for the suggestions and validation.
nothing was said about it when nephew came. DH had said something to him when they were out doing errands though, when talk about height in general came up. Apparently he saw a really tall woman and got freaked out by her and said he felt emasculated??

Yikes! A whole lot of pathologies in that family I guess!

@butterfly245

You’ve been so polite & tolerant to put up with this shit - or let’s be honest & call it what it is - bullying. I’d have lost it by now & just been brutally blunt & told the bloody lot of them in no uncertain terms that they need to fuck right off with it. I might even have been tempted to be as childish as them & retaliate with a ‘How would you feel if I made endless fat jokes every time I saw you? No? Not acceptable? Well, this is exactly the same, you morons!’

If the teenagers start being offensive you need to immediatly have stern words to put them in their place and warn them to keep their bad attitude to themselves or they will be sent home on public transport.

That should be enough to put them in their place and after some time, the same old stupid joke gets tiresome so good on you and your DH for standing your ground.

I mean it is not like you can help it, your height is dictated by your genetics not your god forsaken inlaws so they should wind their necks in and start behaving like decent human beings for once.

Just stand your ground with them, and assert yourself and I am sure this should show them enough is enough.

I really hope that will be end to the comments, finally! You have put up with it for far too long.
All the best.
xx

Apparently he saw a really tall woman and got freaked out by her and said he felt emasculated??

Hmmm - no wonder you were not happy with the 'banter' - the family do actually see height as a characteristic of power and superiority and were using 'jokes' to flex their feelings. The boy has grown up understanding that height is a matter of status.

Including over women.

Bad news.