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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Avoid In-laws because of jokes about my appearance

253 replies

butterfly245 · Yesterday 16:17

I have always been short, which my in-laws have always found hilarious. Whenever I see them there are comments on my heights, comparing me to the children, jokes etc etc. sometimes I laugh it off, sometimes I roll my eyes, but on a couple of occasions I have actually made it clear I don’t find it funny. One family member once asked me if I mind it and when I said I didn’t like it they stopped. The others haven’t (the children now join in).

I didn’t go to the last family occasion because I’m getting tired of it (it’s been over 10 years). I told DH and said I was happy for him to go and to take the kids too, but he said he didn’t want to (it’s a 2 hour drive and they’re not particularly close). When he told his SIL (just said we couldn’t come) she expressed some disappointment. We have one of the kids (teenager) coming to visit soon and I don’t know how to respond if any comments come up.

I’d love some advice on how to handle future comments. AIBU to be irritated to the point of avoiding them or should I get a thicker skin?

OP posts:
Bufftailed · Today 20:13

You need to tell them very clearly you don’t like it and need them to stop. Have you done that?

SparklyLeader · Today 20:14

It is well past time for you to get in their face. They are bullies and they will not stop until you stop them. You have to be firm. The words are: What makes you think you are entitled to make a comment about my body? I don't like it and I don't want you to do it again. It's not cute and it's not funny. Stop doing it. In fact, if you do it again, you and me, we're going to have a problem. Do you understand? Then shut up and keep staring at them. Do not break the stare no matter who else speaks. If they say anything other than I'm sorry, repeat "Do you understand?" Ignore anyone else speaking until they respond with an apology. It will shut everyone else up.

If they respond with anything other than yes then repeat: Do you understand? I don't like it. Stop doing it.

Wiseowl18 · Today 20:48

Op if you are 5ft its undeniably short but it depends on your proportions too. My friend is around 5ft with Kylie Minogue type proportions. Kylie is 5ft with long arms & legs & stunning. I would ignore anyone who is shallow enough to mention actual height when it's about so much more.

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