Avoid In-laws because of jokes about my appearance

[butterfly245]

I have always been short, which my in-laws have always found hilarious. Whenever I see them there are comments on my heights, comparing me to the children, jokes etc etc. sometimes I laugh it off, sometimes I roll my eyes, but on a couple of occasions I have actually made it clear I don’t find it funny. One family member once asked me if I mind it and when I said I didn’t like it they stopped. The others haven’t (the children now join in).

I didn’t go to the last family occasion because I’m getting tired of it (it’s been over 10 years). I told DH and said I was happy for him to go and to take the kids too, but he said he didn’t want to (it’s a 2 hour drive and they’re not particularly close). When he told his SIL (just said we couldn’t come) she expressed some disappointment. We have one of the kids (teenager) coming to visit soon and I don’t know how to respond if any comments come up.

I’d love some advice on how to handle future comments. AIBU to be irritated to the point of avoiding them or should I get a thicker skin?

YANBU - but I would probably wimp out and get DH to have a word/fight my battles for me.

As a matter of curiosity, what height are you?

How short are you?

Tell them you always judge someone from the neck up

You should have shut this shit down years ago.
It's now a 'standing family joke'.
Stand up for yourself, or nothing will change. Each and every time.

Stand up for yourself (no pun intended) and ask them politely to stop. If they dont then tell them, not so politely again to stop. If they still ignore you, either dont go to family events or lose your shit with them lol. Seems an odd thing to get so worked up about though.

How tall are you?

One of them stopped when you were direct with them, have you tried the same approach with the others? You say you sometimes laugh it off or just eye roll so they might not realise that actually you hate it every time and they may think that it depends on the joke... and of course, whichever one they're thinking of will always be so, so funny.

Sorry you've had to deal with that. They sound like a group of bullies with a toxic family culture. I'd expect my DH to be having a firm word or doing so myself, and if it didn't stop, I wouldn't be around them.

Also, wtf is with everyonw asking how short OP is? I wouldn't answer that as for the purposes of this post it is irrelevant. She doesn't need to put up with it, whatever her height.

I’m very short at just under 5ft tall and the jokes can get very tiresome. I suggest you get a t-shirt printed with the words ‘yes I’m short, but at least I’m not a tedious fuckwit like you’ and wear it every time you see them.

Or start insulting them back - ‘oh Barbara, I see you’re still fucking ugly’ or ‘oh Brian, still as fucking dull as ever then’. Play the twats at their own game.

DH told his SIL a long time ago and it stopped for the next couple of visits but just started back up again.

Im 5ft exactly. So yes short, but honestly, I’d never been picked on for it until I met my in-laws. I was quite shocked to find it was such the butt of a joke and just assumed it would die down I suppose.

My family has all sorts and I can't imagine us all finding one particular feature like shortness something to joke about? This is not ok, but then you know that. Every time you must call it out or it will never stop.

Good lord people! This is totally unacceptable at any height. Stop asking OP how tall she is. Its not relevant.

As for your in laws I would never bother to go again and I would’nt encourage dh to go if he is too lazy or frightened to go without you as his meat shield.

If your last point is that one of your nieces or nephews are coming to visit and you think ghey will start making fun of you I would either disinvite them or hsve dh have a frank and direct tslk with them in an age appropriate manner : “ There will be no personal comments on my family, friends, or guests while you are visiting. It is disrespectful and unpleasant. Please do not joke about anyone’s personal characteristics while staying with us.” If SIL complains just be matter of fact “ your family are always rude to me when I visit and I have tolerated it but I won’t tolerate it in my own home.”

They're very rude. Can your DH have a word?

That's really not so uncommonly short that I'd expect people to make a thing of it, but it wouldn't matter if you were three feet, you don't like it and they should stop.

I think you need to talk to them directly and just say you know it's gone on a long time and you haven't really said anything, but actually it upsets you so please can they stop. I'm sure they'd prefer that to you actively avoiding them and if they don't, avoiding them is the answer. But you should give them the chance. They probably truly don't realise how much you don't like it because it's not really been consistently communicated to them. Once they do know, their reaction will show their real character. Most people don't set out to be hurtful.

Are any of them fat or ugly so you could turn back and say well at least I’m not fat or ugly!
Or the best things come in small packages

Pretty overweight yes…I can just imagine how well it would go down if I said something to them!
once my MIL commented that I must find it easy to hold my toddlers hand because I “am closer to the ground”. My DH did lose it at her then and told her it was a stupid comment.
I whispered to him afterwards I wish I was closer to the fridge like she is 🤣

My BIL did this. I called him ‘Cunty McFatCunt’ and he went purple and never commented again 😂

I suggest you get a t-shirt printed with the words ‘yes I’m short, but at least I’m not a tedious fuckwit like you’ and wear it every time you see them.

Love it 😁

Over 10 years?? They sound awful!!

Counter every remark with
"Did you intend to be so rude?"...every. single. time.

Lol! I wish you'd said this.

I'm the same height and I quite LIKE all the short jokes. I'm sorry you don't because that must be bothersome.

The toddler thing is more an observation, rather than something rude. Are you sensitive about your height?

I tend to refer to everyone else as 'Lofty' and worse.

God how bloody rude and obnoxious! The devil in me would want to say well at least I’m not fat and hold a stare!! The angel in me would go with well the best things are in small packages.

I can wear heels.

Can you not be a cunt ?

no I’m not generally sensitive about my height as like I say they’re the only people that comment on it.

LOL. I wish I had the balls.

I am 5ft too - to be honest I don't care if people make jokes about it, but nobody does really!