AIBU to have the ick over this?

[InconsiderateBoyf]

I'm in what some would consider a long term relationship. Been with my boyfriend a few years. Don't live together, each have one child similar ages, rarely spend time all together with the children too, just due to busy lives (I work weekends)

So this weekend we went to a large park which also has deer there...on entry I'd bought both our children animal feed, so they could feed the deer.
A short while after, boyf goes into the little shop and reappears with ice creams... initially I thought he'd bought us all one, then noticed there was only two.
Great I thought, he's bought both our children one...but no! He'd bought himself and his child one, no fucks given whatsoever about my child.

Now, I don't expect handouts. But these ice creams were £1 each. But it's more the fact he didn't consider my child.

I think it was a bit of a realisation at how selfish this man can be and has made me reconsider our whole relationship, to be honest.

AIBU to be so peeved by this? It has given me the serious ick.

Stinginess is one of the least appealing qualities in a person so YANBU at all.

Feck. That's bad. Sorry OP. Maybe toss this one back.

ETA: Because if I was buying my child an ice-cream, I would also buy his child one. When we are 'together' I consider us a family unit and treat our children equally.

I guess it's a bit of an eye-opener that he doesn't.

Wow that’s rude of him. Instant nope. Bin.

I would feel the same. Did you ask him why he didn’t get one for you and your DC?

I mean, it’s rude behaviour, whoever you are with. I would never go off without asking people if they wanted an ice cream. It’s just so rude. And imagine getting one for yourself and not the other child.

Very very strange. It’s the kind of thing someone does to someone they don’t like, which is weird for a girlfriend and a child!

That’s just mean! If I were buying an ice cream for my child and there were other kids in the group regardless of relationship I’d get them all one. Not worth the meltdowns on anyone’s part 🤣

That’s so bad. I’d say goodbye to such a mean, selfish, thoughtless and cruel horror of a man.

You can do better! We all can.

He didn't even ask if you wanted one? Really bad.

Did you ask him where your DC’s was?

Did you ask him about it?

But yeah. Either he did it without thinking or on purpose. Either explanation is unattractive in a partner.

That’s not the ick that’s an alarm bell.

You have put up with him being thoughtless with you, but when he does it to your child you don’t like it. I’m glad your eyes have been opened.
I hope you dump him immediately.

Did you ask? My first response would have been “where are ours?”. What a rude thoughtless bastard.

If he was planning on buying an ice cream he should have said to you that was what he was doing and would you and DC like one too. Or bought one for you all anyway, even if he then said ‘could we go halves on the ice cream’.

That’s rude even if it was from a friend and not a boyfriend. Even a friend you would expect to ask if you want one too as they were going.

It’s not the money in my opinion it’s the lack of consideration.

OP, you don't even need to consider yourselves as a family unit to know the right thing to do is buy for each child.

If you take some time to look over your relationship, are there any instances in which you thought his behaviour, attitude and actions were in opposition to your way of thinking and you let it slide?

If I was with a friend and their child, I would buy their child an ice cream too. I might say I was going to in case my friend didn't want her child to have one. I think for a boyfriend to leave his girlfriend's child out is beyond stingy. It is pretty much an announcement that her child is nothing to do with him and he doesn't care about her or the child's feelings.

Tight bastard ,that is so wrong.

Odd behaviour, even if I was with just a friend I would discuss with them to see if they wanted anything to spare us both queuing but your partner?? Would givd me the ick too

I would tell him he owes you for the animal feed and ditch his ass

@InconsiderateBoyf

Ugh. What a twat. Major ick.

I could never ever ever ever be with a stingy man. It’s the biggest turn off for me. My db is a tightarse and some of the things he says/does in regards to his relationship have me disliking him thoroughly. It’s a horrible trait in a person.

My dh is the most generous person I know and he showed me that right from the start. He’d give me and the dcs his last £1 (and did to my dd that I had from a previous relationship when she was growing up).

His meanness will become hugely exacerbated if you ever moved in together (so don’t!)

Gross behaviour.... he's got to go!

Yep that's not great he didn't even mention he was going to get one. Even when out with friends we say if that's what we are doing (often discussed out of earshot of kids in case someone says no so we can all come to the same decision).

Did you mention it to him and what was his response?

I think yabu unless you buy him stuff abd he doesn’t reciprocate. I'd think it up to each parent to decide when and where to buy ice creams. Maybe he could have said shall we all get ice cream.