AIBU to have the ick over this?

[InconsiderateBoyf]

I'm in what some would consider a long term relationship. Been with my boyfriend a few years. Don't live together, each have one child similar ages, rarely spend time all together with the children too, just due to busy lives (I work weekends)

So this weekend we went to a large park which also has deer there...on entry I'd bought both our children animal feed, so they could feed the deer.
A short while after, boyf goes into the little shop and reappears with ice creams... initially I thought he'd bought us all one, then noticed there was only two.
Great I thought, he's bought both our children one...but no! He'd bought himself and his child one, no fucks given whatsoever about my child.

Now, I don't expect handouts. But these ice creams were £1 each. But it's more the fact he didn't consider my child.

I think it was a bit of a realisation at how selfish this man can be and has made me reconsider our whole relationship, to be honest.

AIBU to be so peeved by this? It has given me the serious ick.

No. Bin. Stingy and mean to the point of leaving out a child. Nothing you've said about him subsequently has made him sound any better either. Why are you wasting time here.

Ugh. He’s not a keeper. Thoughtless, selfish, tight.. I’d be getting rid op.

So why was the park selling deer feed ?

He sounds absolutely awful.This is going nowhere!
I find stingy people so repulsive!

I’m wondering where on earth lets you feed deer. They are wild animals. All the parks with deer I know tell you to stay well away!

Hmmm…….I've got visions of you all living together and it’s Christmas……you’ve bought both children lovely gifts and OH has only bought for his own child and nothing for yours! Move on, you and your dc deserve better treatment.

I think it goes beyond being tight. If it was purely about the money he could have asked if you wanted an ice cream and made you pay, or asked you for money beforehand. But he literally ignored you, and, worst of all, your DC. That would be an end for me. I would not shag someone who sees me as less than even a friend.

🚮

If I was with a friend and her child and mine,not that i have one, i would ask friend if it was ok and then fetch two or 4. This is common courtesy.

Is that all you got from the OP? There are some weird people around, gosh....

Not by hand. There were pouring tubes that dispersed it into a trough for them. (The owners aren't daft huh ££)

Love, this is all you need to know.

he’s not the one for you, or the one to be in your kids life.

you matter more than this.

Its not just stingy, its also just plain rude

A new relationship and he does that!
He should still be in his best behaviour!

Keep him as a "now and then" shag (if he is any good) but stop any contact with yours/ his DC involved. It s clearly not that kind of situation.

Or better still, dump him. And stop introducing your child to random blockes who are not even a bf material.

This - and he's bringing his child up to think that kind of shit is OK.

Ew. Not cool.

Since we've been together, I have bought his child gifts for birthday and xmas (although I wasn't there to give them myself)... he's never bought my child a card or present for an occasion.

Fuck. What am I doing!!
I need to meet someone that's as generous and thoughtful as I am, don't I...!!

A grown man buying himself and his kid an ice-cream to eat in front of his partners child is just fucking weird. To the point I'd assume that he was trying to start a fight. Or he suddenly forgot you both existed? How is he not embarrassed? Bizarre.

That is a huge red flag sorry.

WTF?? Why are you still with him?????

Hilarious.

He is literally the only person my child met since my marriage ended and we'd been dating a year before my child met him.
He certainly wasn't a 'random bloke'

And let me tell you, time doesn't mean anything either. My childs Dad treated me appallingly after two decades together...never did I think he would. So time doesn't necessarily mean you know someone well, either.

Where on earth do you get ice creams for £1 each??

But yes, the bloke is a tightarse, def. not a keeper.

What the hell!!!

OP it’s one thing for him to be stingy and selfish towards you but he’s never bought your kid a present or card?!!!!

I dated men who’ve never even met my DC and have bought them some sweets or small toy as a kind gesture (to try and impress me mainly).

I buy my friend’s kids presents all the time and I’m not even shagging them.

OP throw this one back!!

Yep that’s a red flag. No consideration.