AIBU to expect my parents to manage one vegan barbecue meal?

[veganbbqdrama]

Surely most people can survive if they have just one vegan meal ???!!!

My parents have decided they don’t think they can attend a bbq at my house due to the fact we are a vegan family and they are worried about ‘nutrition gaps’ !!!

Neither have any health conditions.

It’s one meal and we are offering a wide variety of things plus desserts. I said to then if they don’t fancy it that’s fine but they said it’s because they are worried about the food, and asked could they bring their own (no! ) or would I get them a few bits they can eat (non vegan) to which I said I can’t have it in the house.

Surely they could just come for a drink and eat later at home ? They are making such a fuss ?? It’s not like we are pushing veganism or the ethics behind our choice we weren’t planning on talking about it just having a nice family get together !

You CAN eat dogs, you CAN eat cats...

Reach for the stars🎵

I guess that made sense when you wrote it.

And not everyone uses "delicious" and "vegetables" in the same sentence.

Get some Beyond Burgers and tell them they are beef. They won't know the difference.

But you don’t know if anything might upset someone’s digestion. Including meat!

No but the person probably will.

I've been trying to be eat more vegetarian meals but really struggle to have many that are pure plant based - unless you actively go for non dairy milk and butter (spread) even basic cereal and sandwiches have animal products in (and that's before you've ruled out sandwich fillings). Cheese is so damn good....

I can guarantee to you that I would.

Maybe they just dont like your food, regardless of it being vegan? The level of spice or garlic or texture - I dunno. Have they eaten at yours before? Or they just dont want to come?

I agree that they could visit for a short period and eat their meal at home beforehand so they dont starve!

You must realise that your list of sensitivities is unusually extensive? And the sort of thing you’d have to discuss with a host whatever the nature of the meal you were being invited to. You wouldn’t be able to eat a lot of meat dishes I cook-never mind the vegan ones!

So first lie to them, and then risk giving them guts ache with ultra-processed franken-food. Charming!

Everybody already eats vegan food.
Refusing food that you would otherwise eat if it were on the side of a steak just because the steak is absent, is an odd choice, and yes, pathetic.
It's not a belief not to eat a veggie kebab.

Everybody already eats vegan food.
Refusing food that you would otherwise eat if it were on the side of a steak just because the steak is absent, is an odd choice, and yes, pathetic.
It's not a belief not to eat a veggie kebab.

Vegetables and fruit do not have a belief system. They do not become vegetarian just because vegetarians can eat them, any more than they become vegan because vegans can eat them. They are simply foods that vegans and vegetarians can eat. You also don't get to define what an odd food choice is for others.

Expecting other people to eat the food you choose to eat simply because you judge that choice to be reasonable is pathetic, controlling and ridiculous.

See devil's advocate. Veggies do often moan that only thing x place had suitable were sides and they are fed up of eating sides.
Aa you say lotsof the vegan stuff are common sides and people eat them. But who wants to eat basically just sides... No one.

Anyway, all these arguments about surviving vegan meal are imho moot because imho the parents just don't like the food and used the nutrition as an excuse. Like I would try to find excuses from sausage, burgers and rice salad bbq😁 (nothing personal to anyone)

Oohhh awesome to know thank you! I’ll add it to the list of ideas 😊

Sorry but ‘nutrition gaps’ for one meal made me laugh out loud. They’re being ridiculous.

"They’ve never enjoyed a mushroom risotto or sun-dried tomato and roast garlic bruschetta?"

Risotto isn't normally vegan, if it's got real parmesan it's not even vegetarian. The recipes I use also feature butter and chicken stock.

It reminds me of a colleague proclaiming how easy it was to be vegan when in fact she was oblivious to ingredients used in normal recipes were in fact made from animal products.

I don't eat vegan meals. Every meal I eat contains either meat or dairy. I don't enjoy vegan meals, so I would politely decline an invitation to one. That's my choice. No one has the right to force me to attend an event I won't enjoy or eat a meal I won't enjoy. It's not pathetic to not want to spend my time doing things I don't enjoy.

In the early 90s a friend of mine was struggling to make money selling second hand jewellery at her stall in Camden Market (bear with me here).

Veganism was an emerging thing then, and she suddenly switched to selling vegan burgers using Linda McCartney patties. She tried them out on me (a meat eater) and I loved them so much I ate three!

Her stall became one of the most successful at the time, so suffice to say, your parents ABVU!!

The OP has explained that the parents do not provide a full nutritionally balanced meal vegan meal, they are usually offered something that is a coincidentally animal free snack in the form of a biscuit or fruit. There is no reason why omivores ( given reference to nutrition suggests this is what they are,) that do consume animal carcass parts could not eat something from what from what's available.

They are just being difficult suggesting they can't manage a few hours without consuming animal derived produce. They might the sort of people that probably don't care about sustainability, climate change, or animal welfare either, which are some of the main drivers behind vegan principles, but it's somewhat over entitled to expect someone who does care about these things to have to unwillingly compromise .

Im a meat eater but it sounds glorious, I'll take their place!

Op isn't cooking UPF meat substitutes, or expecting anyone else to eat it.

Its not really. people with IBS often have quite a list of things they can't tolerate or can only tolerate in small amounts because plant based foods tends to come in groups. Simplified for me its most legumes and too much plant fibre of any description including fruit but that's often not as helpful as you'd think when explaining food sensitivities. For me, and I understand for others, amount consumed also plays a part. Normally its not necessary to discuss it because a non plant based meal will not be legume or vegetable fibre heavy.

Would you let someone else smoke in your house if you are a non smoker?

yeah....soya protein no bon :(
Waitrose used to do wonderful chestnut and mushroom patties but stopped them.

Nutrition gaps for one single meal? I'll come over...invite me please.

Vegans can eat meat, they just don't want to.