AIBU to expect my parents to manage one vegan barbecue meal?

[veganbbqdrama]

Surely most people can survive if they have just one vegan meal ???!!!

My parents have decided they don’t think they can attend a bbq at my house due to the fact we are a vegan family and they are worried about ‘nutrition gaps’ !!!

Neither have any health conditions.

It’s one meal and we are offering a wide variety of things plus desserts. I said to then if they don’t fancy it that’s fine but they said it’s because they are worried about the food, and asked could they bring their own (no! ) or would I get them a few bits they can eat (non vegan) to which I said I can’t have it in the house.

Surely they could just come for a drink and eat later at home ? They are making such a fuss ?? It’s not like we are pushing veganism or the ethics behind our choice we weren’t planning on talking about it just having a nice family get together !

Feels like a massive over reaction on their part. Have you been vegan long? I’m assuming this issue comes up a lot?

They are absolutely ridiculous. Very odd behaviour.

Can't see the point of a vegan barbecue. Barbecue is mostly meat.

These are your parents. I have no doubt they accommodate your dietary requirements when you visit them - so just make an exception for once, and do something you think they would like. How difficult would it be to get a few bits and put them in the fridge? I’d ask what they would suggest, and just get it - they’re not asking you to touch it or eat it.

Presumably as vegans you're entirely against offering meat or vegetarian options, but I'd still attend. It's quite easy to fill my belly and/or bring something to eat and just enjoy the company.

Very silly of them. Can't see why non-vegans can't eat the occasional vegan meal.

You will get lots of shitty comments about how you are imposing your beliefs on other people but I don't think you are being unreasonable. I'm not a vegan but I can't see how anyone would struggle from having just one vegan meal.

Ultimately, you can't force people though. If they don't want to come, then just accept that they are missing out, and crack on with people who are a bit more open minded.

Very silly and closed minded of them. Suggest they have a sausage beforehand

I suspect this is them making a statement more broadly

I'd ask them to explain exactly which insurmountable nutritional deficiencies they expect to suffer from 1 meal, and how they ensure every other meal they ever eat is absolutely perfectly balanced.

What do you cook at a vegan bbq?

I enjoy vegan food and will often choose it, especially in places where the meat is likely to be poor quality, but I can't think what you'd cook on a vegan bbq that would cover all the food groups.

That said, one meal without won't hurt.

I assume that, as a vegan, the OP wouldn't want meat or dairy products in her house, nor would she want to buy them. It isn't comparable to her parents catering for her family as vegans - her parents can eat vegan food, they just don't want to.

They are probably scared you are going to feed them unfamiliar food like cactus milk or tofu wrapped in exotic seaweed, can you send them a list of very normal foods that you can serve, such as veggie kebabs, rice salads etc

Do you expect them to provide vegan food if you eat at their house?

We do vegetable kebabs, vegan burgers (made with lentils, chickpeas, sweet potato, quinoa and whatever else dh adds 😂) grilled portobello mushrooms, there’s lots you can cook on a bbq and it all has a nice chargrilled taste.

Also the bbq salads - we do a 3 bean tofu and rice bbq one, then a lentil pasta and peppers , tomatoes and chilli. Fresh bread, houmous etc.

Desserts are fresh fruit and a vegan cheesecake or vegan ice creams.

I’ve tried to explain to them that it will be a balanced meal but they can’t comprehend !

I'm getting worried now. I skipped lunch today. I'm obviously going to suffer severe malnutrition and will potentially die before dinner time.

Presumably what they really mean is they don't agree with this ridiculous modern vegan fad and want a proper meal consisting of large hunks of meat. Rather than saying that, they are going with the really passive aggressive approach of "concern about the nutritional deficit" and are hoping to guilt you into providing them with steak.

Tell them they will be fine from a nutritional perspective but it they don't fancy coming, that's fine you will see them another time.

It’s an invitation not a summons so they can decline if they choose but they are being pretty rude.

If lack of meat based protein is such an issue for them why don’t they just eat before they arrive and enjoy some nibbles while spending with their family.

Being “old” is not an excuse. Vegetarians and vegans have been common place for decades now.

I guarantee I’d struggle to eat most food at a vegan barbecue (food sensitivity issues restrict my diet) so I’d probably decline or bring my own meal.

I’d tell them to bring some meat and a takeaway barbecue

Seriously? They are being absurd..

And the OP can eat meat, she just doesn’t want to.

I'd also be tempted to respond to the next invitation to eat at their house that you can't because you're worried you'll get scurvy.

They don’t really host meals if we go there and have a snack/drink they just have to see what they have that’s suitable which is fine . Sometimes they don’t have anything often they have biscuits or some fruit.

A barbecue is a means of cooking a wide variety of food stuffs. You can cook meat on it. You can cook lots of other types of food on it.

They’re being ridiculous. I’d be quite interested to see what a vegan bbq entails!

What exactly are you making? Tofu and courgette skewers with salad? Could you compromise with a bit of halloumi?

I am mainly vegan but a vegan BBQ sounds bleak.