AIBU to expect my parents to manage one vegan barbecue meal?

[veganbbqdrama]

Surely most people can survive if they have just one vegan meal ???!!!

My parents have decided they don’t think they can attend a bbq at my house due to the fact we are a vegan family and they are worried about ‘nutrition gaps’ !!!

Neither have any health conditions.

It’s one meal and we are offering a wide variety of things plus desserts. I said to then if they don’t fancy it that’s fine but they said it’s because they are worried about the food, and asked could they bring their own (no! ) or would I get them a few bits they can eat (non vegan) to which I said I can’t have it in the house.

Surely they could just come for a drink and eat later at home ? They are making such a fuss ?? It’s not like we are pushing veganism or the ethics behind our choice we weren’t planning on talking about it just having a nice family get together !

I think they're being pathetic not having vegan food and if I were them, I'd come along and eat...

That said, I've been vegetarian for 25 years and get meat in for some guests. E.g. my step dad will only eat meat and 2 veg so I get stuff in for him.

My family cater to me so I like to cater to them.

And yet you manage to survive the nutritional gap.

Have they ever eaten at your vegan house before? I’m assuming the vegan meal is the issue rather than BBQ?

Your parents are very wise.
That one meaty dish is probably all that stands between them and some hellish wasting disease.

a vegan BBQ sounds bleak.

Only if you lack imagitation.

They are being ridiculous. The point of coming is to see their child, not of enjoying the food. Are there vegan foods you know they eat? Pasta and tomato sauce? Beans and chips? Hummus and pita? I’d see if they’d come if that was an option. Like serving a separate option for fussy children.

If someone comes for more than one night, I think it’s kind to let them bring what they want, but they can clearly handle a single meal in a vegan home.

I bet they just dont like veg, beans and grains that much

OP, having read the menu for your BBQ I wonder if I can come round instead of your parents please?

Could you take the small child approach - how about you come, and give it a go, and if you’re still hungry when you get home you can get a snack / ham sandwich.

I did say to them there’s no pressure to eat just come and have a drink instead ? But they keep saying it’s over a mealtime so they need something (they are very set on their mealtimes)

why cant they just bring some of their own food with them? Sounds like the easy compromise.

It sounds delicious, @veganbbqdrama - especially the burgers!

I am not keen on vegan ‘meat’ or ‘cheese’, so I’d probably pass on the cheesecake, but I’m sure I’d enjoy the rest.

They are being ridiculous.

I don’t mind vegan food but I’m against the ethics of it as an animal lover.
Your parents may feel as strongly as you do about your choices.

She's told them they can't do that.
I was a strict vegetarian for 25 years. My family catered for me at their gatherings, and I did the same for them.
OP YABU, unless they also refuse to cater for you.
I would allow them to bring food of their choice.

If you think it's remotely comparable, then that says more about you than it does about the OP.

I've been veggie 36 years, the last 10 years vegan and my parents (80 and 88) would not care at all if they had a vegan bbq. I only feed them vegan food and they've never complained.

And my parents stay for up to a week at a time as we live different cities.

Why don’t you agree that you’ll buy meat burgers and sausages for them and then just serve them the vegan ones?

What do you do for a vegan BBQ? looking for additions to my own (non vegan) BBQ if theyre tasty

It all sounds lovely , but …

at one time I would have eaten all of that and enjoyed it, as I’ve got older my tummy rejects a lot of things like the lentils and to many pulses, I love mushrooms and could eat a little. DH is the same, just has to be careful with new things.

is it possible your parents are just worried about the effect on the tummies?

I don’t think I could bring myself to have to convince someone to let me host them, regardless of the closeness of the relationship! They sound very set in their ways, just leave them to it and enjoy your delicious-sounding (and I say that as a meat eater!) food without them begrudgingly attending and being horrified at what’s being served to them.

I mostly think that your DPs are being absurd, mainly because I love a good veggie kebab. However, even though I eat a lot of vegetarian food, a tiny bit of me has a heart sink moment when the only options are vegan. I’m happy with veg and pulses, but Quorn, tofu and UPF alternatives, can do one.

So not going to lie if I don’t eat animal protein at a meal I feel awful (btw I did try to go vegan and felt horrific and had to stop, even with pea protein powders etc) but in these circumstances I would just make sure I’d had something that would stop that hunger kicking in before I came to you

That's bonkers! They do sound hard work. I'm not vegan or vegetarian but half our meals as a family are meat free these days just to keep costs low and could easily be made vegan if we were bothered. I had a vegan feta and spinach filo pie at a dinner party the other week and it was delicious.

Our son's GF is vegetarian and we've been trying out loads more recipes and vegetarian bbq ideas lately. Bbq aubergines have been a massive hit. I can't believe how closed minded your parents are being.

Why would anyone do this? That’s just odd behaviour, you wouldn’t serve a vegan or vegetarian food with traces of meat in it?

OP it’s no big deal, they don’t want to come, it’s their choice.