Holiday - to rebook or let them go?

[HealthConcerns24]

As a family we have had a “dream holiday” booked for around a year that took 3 years to save for. We are due to go in 3 weeks and it’s for a 3 week holiday. It’s me, my husband and our 2 children in early to late teens.

This past weekend I ended up in hospital with a pretty serious health event, think cardio, and I cannot travel for this holiday, still in hospital and not sure how long I’ll be here for.

Just today my husband said we needed to discus the holiday. I thought he was going to discuss moving it to another time in which I can come but no, he seems to think is acceptable that the 3 of them go and I stay home and recover, alone, and just don’t go at all.

AIBU to think we should just rebook the whole thing until I’m well enough to go or am I selfish to even consider asking them to stay home and rebook?

im off my head on pain meds and can’t even think about this logically right now.

So he’s prepared to leave you on your own after a major illness all for a holiday

i would just cancel now. Them present it to him that you have cancels and re booked and I would be seriously rethinking the relationship as he obviously doesn’t care about you

they should only be going if it cannot be moved and you'd lose all that money!! Otherwise, no way!

@MattressahoyI wish it was. But this is my life and it’s really happened. He’s done similar before way back when we were young and that should have been my wake up call but it wasn’t

What do you think your parents would have said, the ones you inherited and partly paid for this family holiday to the happiest place on earth?

He is an arse.

God what a horrible horrible man. He doesn't care about you one little bit does he?

Just rearrange it yourself, call them, explain you're in hospital incredibly ill, can they cancel it to be rearranged at a later date when you're well enough to sort it.

Honestly divorce this man before you get old, he will never care about or for you, he doesn't deserve you caring for him.

The two things I would consider when making this decision would be

1. how much money you would lose
2. if you would need home care

As you wouldn’t lose that much money (in the grand scheme of the holiday costs) and you will need care, your husband is absolutely being unreasonable.

The only way I would be telling DH to go would be if we would lose most of the holiday cost. I would just tell the hospital I had nobody at home

Do you have insurance though? It may well cover the flights.

Let them go.
Your husband is scum.

Wake up to that.
Recover and make plans to get away from him.
He is nasty scum.

Jeezo, what a prince. I would honestly just contact the insurance company - if I could get a refund I’d take that and look to rebook the holiday for myself with my children, because I wouldn’t be going on holiday with my ex-husband.

@Savvysix1984 yep, always have insurance. Worldwide family cover and I’ve already looked into costs for moving it alls he’s just being a twat

So his marriage vows of in sickness and health only apply if there is not a £10k holiday on offer? Was it your inheritance paying for this?

@Cornishcliobit of both. About 1k from each parent

I would tell the hospital the situation so they can talk to your husband. Do not lie and say they are at home if you are home alone. Is it heart surgery? You definitely need someone at home. My husband had it and we postponed our Canada holiday as he would not have been able to go. Guess what the sky did not fall in and we went the following year.

The holiday is not really the point here. There is a place for the family going without the ill person. But when you have cardiac issues and need someone at home to keep you safe, un-be-fucking-lievable.

Are you in the UK? I am amazed you got those four flights to USA for £1k! Or is it Eurodisney? Amazing work if US.

If your insurance is going to pay up then you should cancel. Not only is it bloody insensitive to go without you, but you will need support at home.

I don’t like the sound of your DH, I really don’t. Get well soon 💐

I have recently ended up on a cardio ward for a week, after a procedure I was allowed home. The instructions were rest for 2 weeks, the first week I was exhausted and really needed my DH to organise food laundry and general care. The second week I have started doing more food prep etc.

Yes it may be possible to do it alone BUT it is comforting when you are unwell to have someone who cares for you.

The holiday should be postponed so you all have something to look forward to after you recover.

Who made the booking? Change it
to next year.

Don’t give the twat a say.

Actually, ignore my advice and do what @WhatWouldTheDoctorDo said…

Just move it. Fuck him. He doesn't give a shit how you feel. Why should you care how he feels.

HOWEVER. On a separate note. The hospital are going to discharge you with the expectation HE will care for you. He obviously WILL NOT. do you have anybody that can come stay with you to care for you? If not. You need to talk to the hospital and request not to be discharged until you are well enough to not need care. You really really need to be selfish right now. It is very important you heal and receive care to do so. This is your heart, you could die if you don't stand up for yourself. Or do you have a very good friend that will stay with you 24/7. Do not go home otherwise.

Wow that’s really awful! Ofc you would move the dates and all go.

Jesus, I’m sorry your husband is such an arsehole.

I cannot believe he is expecting you to stay home alone when you need looking after, and to lie to the hospital and say they will be there! Unbelievable and hugely irresponsible. “Get a neighbour to pop in” WTF? why should a neighbour pop in when you have a husband who could look after you if he hadn’t gone off on a jolly?

Really angry on your behalf.

If you have insurance then I wouldn't think twice about canceling it.
I would however be seriously rethinking my marriage.

@Likeiloveyouyeah we are UK. We booked the flights 3 years ago and we fly to a different place in USA, have a layover and fly the next day. With one of the smaller airlines too so probably why it was so cheap.

Are the tickets 1k per person or are you saying you are all 4 flying to Florida for 1k?..

(yes, he is still an arse)

Edit; ok I see you just answered that. Where are you flying too?

Your DH is a piece of work.

Sorry you are ill and sorry you are getting no support