Holiday - to rebook or let them go?

[HealthConcerns24]

As a family we have had a “dream holiday” booked for around a year that took 3 years to save for. We are due to go in 3 weeks and it’s for a 3 week holiday. It’s me, my husband and our 2 children in early to late teens.

This past weekend I ended up in hospital with a pretty serious health event, think cardio, and I cannot travel for this holiday, still in hospital and not sure how long I’ll be here for.

Just today my husband said we needed to discus the holiday. I thought he was going to discuss moving it to another time in which I can come but no, he seems to think is acceptable that the 3 of them go and I stay home and recover, alone, and just don’t go at all.

AIBU to think we should just rebook the whole thing until I’m well enough to go or am I selfish to even consider asking them to stay home and rebook?

im off my head on pain meds and can’t even think about this logically right now.

Do you have insurance?

You don't have a clue what you are talking about! Having children will make no difference whether it can be moved or not.
You will probably need to go through your insurance OP.

Fuck that! Selfish prick. No they don't go without you, it gets moved. I don't even think the travel company would be dicks about it, you're literally in hospital with a cardiac event.

Any normal person that gave a shit about their partner who is in hospital with a bad heart would never put that stress on the ill person in hospital. You come in and say "don't worry about the holiday, it's all sorted, we're going next year instead, when you're out I'll find something that's doable."

Shows you how much he cares doesn't it.

Entirely dependent on insurance terms. He may already have enquired and thinks it can’t be rebooked, or he’s just being selfish.

It really depends on the terms of the insurance. You might be able to only get the cost of your booking back rather than the whole booking in which case I think it would be better for the three of them to go without you rather than losing money. The ideal would be to reschedule to when you can go as a family though and that would be my first preference.

Holiday companies can be varied in how flexible they might be but I suspect not many would move free of charge this close to going.

I’d let them go and enjoy the recovery time. Have another holiday together when you have recovered. People who are saying move it - that will depend on your insurance terms.

Selfish prick! It took 3yrs to save for it, it’s not something u can just do again next yr then. I can’t even believe he has suggested they all go. Ur unwell and surely wld need a bit of looking after once ur home. Unless this has been suggested because you will lose all your money, thats different.

If the cancellation will be covered by insurance then everyone should cancel.
If not, I think they should go.

What a prick. He should have asked you what you want to do.

Just in case it is Disney, you can’t have your first Disney moments as a do over, so it isn’t even like you can save and go again in a couple of years because you’ll have missed their first WOW moments.

Your husband is being selfish and the trip needs to be moved, your children will understand 💯 because they won’t want to go without you

Honestly he's such a prick for just dumping this on you when you're in hospital.

I suppose part of the issue is that as it’s a three week holiday rescheduling it probably means next year, unless you’re happy for the teens to miss school. Will you even be able to rearrange it for that far ahead? If you can, then this would be the best option so nobody misses out and people are around to help you if you need it. But it will all depend on what you are able to do.

If insurance will cover cancellation then I would definitely cancel / postpone.

Your husband sounds like a right knob.

Will your travel insurance cover moving it?

Presumably he’s going to make you feel guilty if you asked him not to go. And in my family if any of us couldn’t go for ANY reason, then none of us would leave them behind, no matter the financial loss. Especially when the reason was a serious medical condition resulting in them having to stay in hospital!

I would imagine you would need some support when you get home. I’d ask him to look into moving it so you can all go . If it would mean losing the holiday then yes they should go but if it can be moved of course they should wait. I could get kids thinking that way but your dh is coming across as a selfish sod.

I don’t get this, I’d prefer my family went than lose for example 20k on a Disney holiday.

You wouldn’t lose it. Even without insurance everything for Disney can be moved, perhaps with some small costs.

But tickets etc with Disney and Universal they’ll be moved very easily, you just email them and they change the valid dates. I’ve done it multiple times over the last 15 years.

I think it's super unfortunate and tricky. For us, it would make a massive difference to know what the financial implications were of each option. Plus given the length of the trip and the ages of your children, this seems tricky to rearrange.

My husband and daughter went to South Africa without me - I was meant to go with them, but then had terrible and overwhelming pregnancy sickness and had to pull out. I was jealous but we'd have lost most of it if we'd cancelled so of course I wanted them to go and enjoy it. But I didn't need help and we had rubbish insurance (apparently) so it was an easier decision.

I have personally called a travel company when travelling with my kids and they have in the circumstances of a serious illness happily rebooked. Another company did this for a friend last year when her DH was diagnosed with cancer.

So there was no need to be so fucking rude, was there?

If I can rebook for free or a token small fee, I wouldn't even think about it, change the dates, and take the kids elsewhere cheap this year.

If the money is lost otherwise, then of course they go. What a waste otherwise.

I was thinking Villa, hotel, car hire, flights etc wherever it is they are going.

You poor thing! He shouldn't even consider leaving you after suffering a serious health issue. Having saved for 3 years, it should definitely be moved so that you can all enjoy it together. Even if a fee is involved.

Will you be even fit enough to be left alone after three weeks, dh certainly wasn't recovered after three weeks after cardiac surgery.

Unless it won’t be covered by insurance to cancel - his behaviour is in divorce territory