Holiday - to rebook or let them go?

[HealthConcerns24]

As a family we have had a “dream holiday” booked for around a year that took 3 years to save for. We are due to go in 3 weeks and it’s for a 3 week holiday. It’s me, my husband and our 2 children in early to late teens.

This past weekend I ended up in hospital with a pretty serious health event, think cardio, and I cannot travel for this holiday, still in hospital and not sure how long I’ll be here for.

Just today my husband said we needed to discus the holiday. I thought he was going to discuss moving it to another time in which I can come but no, he seems to think is acceptable that the 3 of them go and I stay home and recover, alone, and just don’t go at all.

AIBU to think we should just rebook the whole thing until I’m well enough to go or am I selfish to even consider asking them to stay home and rebook?

im off my head on pain meds and can’t even think about this logically right now.

You all go or no one goes

If it’s movable with insurance that would be my first choice, and if not and you’d lose all the money then I’d be fine with not going. I did this one year with a ski holiday and rested at home on my own.

Do you have travel insurance?

Honestly he's being a selfish fucker. Not just by thinking about going on the holiday without you, but by going on holiday when you are going through this!

Sure it's disappointing, but you should be coming first here - and you should not be missing out on something you spent time and money organizing! I'm guessing you did most of the work... Correct me if I'm wrong

It depends , will you need care over those weeks ? And how much did you want to go , is it the kids dream holiday or yours?
Would you lose money etc

Your husbands a prick. Mine wouldn’t even dream of leaving me alone at this time, let alone pissing off on the family holiday without me

Whose dream is it? Assuming it is something for the whole family to experience and enjoy together he needs to reschedule it.

Rearrange so you can all go.

when you’re home and recovered well enough you could do a UK holiday, all of you?

They shouldn’t go. Hopefully your insurance will cover cancellation due to medical event and you can rebook later when you’re recovered. If you are still in hospital now I think you may need care when you get home too.

I totally get you OP. This just happened to us. I had to have surgery a week before we were due to fly. Should’ve just got home yesterday. DH said immediately - we’ll cancel and go later in the year. My DC were a bit disappointed but are happy to be on summer holidays with the promise of a trip later this year.

Bet your kids won't be happy to leave you behind...

Selfish man.

Get well soon OP.

Quite unbelievable attitude from your husband really.

Is he not worried that you might be ill again when they’re away or that you might just want some care from your husband ?

I would be so disappointed in him.

I wish you a speedy recovery

Well your husband is a proper charmer isn't he. The holiday should be rearranged if humanly possible. You all go or nobody goes. I don't know how he can even think about prioritising the bloody holiday when his wife and the mother of his children is lying in hospital.

A lot depends on what insurance says

If insurance says you would not get refunded for the costs of your Dh and kids then I can see the logic in them going - albeit it’s pretty awful for you.

also as pp says will you need care? If so then obviously your Dh shouldn’t be going, and I would expect insurance to cover his share in that case (and your kids then
obviously can’t go alone)

if insurance will refund then delaying is a no brainer. If possible DH and kids can do a short cheap break somewhere else just so they aren’t without a holiday this year but you push back the big special trip to when you are better.

If you have insurance, get the money and go together. Can’t believe your dh is going to leave you.

if you don’t have insurance thiugh, they should go or else waste of money.

Do you not have travel insurance?

There was a post on here just the other day defending kids who had to miss out because of their poorly brother. The defence to say they have every right to be resentful and now as older teens/adults to exclude and bully their brother. I wonder out the ones saying he’s selfish and it’s acceptable to miss the holiday told the woman who had cancelled holidays she was wrong.

anyhow, I do think you should reschedule it, if by the new date you can’t make it then let them still go. He’s being really callous

Wow
That's told you op , exactly what he thinks of you

I would be furious if my wife suggested going without me after a medical event that required me to be hospitalised. I am part of our family and my health is far more important than a holiday.

Your husband needs to understand this completely, so give it to him with both barrels.

If you have insurance, then why wouldn't you move it? Objectively, surely all of you going a bit later than planned is better than only 75% of you going, just for the sake of going sooner rather than later? And subjectively it's a pretty horrible thing to do to someone who is upset and vulnerable

Well, CAN you move it is the first question. If you can, there is no further question. Of course you rebook it.

I think this decision should be entirely up to you. I would have been quite happy to skip the holiday and I would have thouroughly enjoyed being home alone for three weeks, but recognise that most people aren't like me and would have wanted the trip to be rescheduled.

Sorry but you will totally be able to move/reschedule, as you are a parent of 3 minors travelling, and usually without charge. He just needs to call the travel company and explore your options.

What an AH your DH is.

I’d go and let them enjoy and you stay home and rest.

So sorry to hear your unwell, I hope you make a good recovery really soon.

Tell him to not be a and to get in touch with the insurance/travel company to get it moved/refunded.

Sorry buy how do you know what kind of package the OP booked ?
OP it’s à bit mean of them but I’d let them off . The teens will be so looking forward to it .
And then recover on my own and enjoy the peace . Use the money ( if you can get a refund ) to treat yourself .
Personally couldn’t bear them to miss it because of me. .

This happened to me last year. Holiday booked with my family (I’m a widow). Then got the call for a long awaited transplant. I was happy for them to go, so it was fine, and I actually appreciated the peace and quiet in the house for recovery. But if you’re not happy then that’s not unreasonable.