Holiday - to rebook or let them go?

[HealthConcerns24]

As a family we have had a “dream holiday” booked for around a year that took 3 years to save for. We are due to go in 3 weeks and it’s for a 3 week holiday. It’s me, my husband and our 2 children in early to late teens.

This past weekend I ended up in hospital with a pretty serious health event, think cardio, and I cannot travel for this holiday, still in hospital and not sure how long I’ll be here for.

Just today my husband said we needed to discus the holiday. I thought he was going to discuss moving it to another time in which I can come but no, he seems to think is acceptable that the 3 of them go and I stay home and recover, alone, and just don’t go at all.

AIBU to think we should just rebook the whole thing until I’m well enough to go or am I selfish to even consider asking them to stay home and rebook?

im off my head on pain meds and can’t even think about this logically right now.

so the family dream holiday is for two parents, a 20 year old and a 12? Saved for 3 years? Take as much back from the insurance as you can and then decide whether to put the money towards another holiday or the divorce xx

So now you know he didn’t book it three years ago, because that is simply not possible. Ask him to email you the flight tickets?

He is disgusting. What the actual fuck is wrong with him? If this isn’t the push you need to leave him, I don’t know what would be. That’s so shocking that he could be so cold and uncaring. And then to leave you alone to recover? Is he a sociopath? Does he have any love or care in him at all? Is your older child aware of his plan? Is he not shocked at him?

I would be telling him that if he decides to go then he should pack everything he owns because the house will be on the market by the time he gets back and a divorce will be underway.

He sounds like he doesn’t actually love you. Holiday issue aside, do you actually like this man?

He is a monster. Sorry this is happening in addition to your health issues.

This happened to me last year, also cardiac issues, it wasn't even a question for DH and ds to go, wet got everything bank from the insurance bar the doctor's fee for a letter. DS was only 6 but he understood a d he was sad but wanted mummy better. DH said there was no way he was leaving me or going without me, as it happens we are on the rebook now

We had this a few years ago with DH … I sent adult child and filled our places with their friends as no benefit in them staying at home and I of course no question stayed home with DH

Very much depends on ages of elder teens regarding responsibility and dynamics with younger ones

Despicable.

Of course they don't 'just go' and leave you at home alone. I would be having a serious conversation with him about the fact that he even entertained this for one minute. Surely your 20 year old can support you in making him realise how selfish he is being. Presumably, your DC would actually like their mum to be there as well.

Shocking. He really has shown you who he is. I am so sorry.

Never mind telling the hospital anything, I’d be telling my husband if he goes he’d be getting a divorce when he comes home.

wow. he doesn't give a flying fuck about you, does he?

I would be telling everyone what he's said. Especially about how you should lie to the hospital and tell them you have someone to take care of you.

So I reckon they will go regardless of what I want.

So basically you are saying he doesn't care whether you go or not. How nice

This is exactly what I would say.

The booking the flights 3 years ago part smells a bit fishy?

He does sounds like a turd

Sorry OP, I should have read the whole thread before messaging.

I can’t believe flights for all of you only cost £1k?

otoh just because you booked it separately insurance should still cover them

anyway if costs to reschedule are minimal then yes you should reschedule

We had Disney booked a few years ago but couldn’t go because DH was ill. We got everything back except a few hundred pounds on seat bookings. No way would I have considered going without him and no way would DH consider going without me. We have both been away with our girls separately in the past for various reasons but no way would we consider going on a trip like this unless it was everyone going!

Yes. Just not possible more than 13 or so months ahead

Breaks my heart reading this your husband sounds exactly like my ex , so many things over the years I should have left for , he’s showing you you mean absolutely nothing to him I’m never one to say divorce but are you prepared to put up with this for the rest of your life ? You are at your lowest and he doesn’t care an ounce , your adult son is old enough to have your back unless he’s a selfish fuck like his dad.

if you booked it and are lead passenger change it yourself but I imagine with a man like that he will be to exert his power .

if they do go without you please take care and really think about if this os going to be the way you want the rest of the days to play out

I’m a nurse hospital won’t allow you home without suitable care in place so make sure you inform them of his plans

Yes VERY fish re the flights, there is zero chance of all the flights coming under 1k for 4 people to America, and it's literally impossible to book flights 3 years in advance.

I would be questioning him over that.

If you can claim on your insurance then cancel, claim and go next year once recovered. If not covered or have no insurance then let them go rather than lose the money. If my partner even suggested I miss out and recover alone at home with cardiac issues (provided we had relevant insurance we could claim on) id go absolutely crazy how selfish

This is hw I would know that my husband no longer cares for me.

I agree with this
No way would I go off on holiday when a family member is sick

Surely it depends if you will get your money back or lose it. If the latter then let hubby and kids go as longas you wont be left alone. Maybe you could do a name change and someone in the family could go?

How awful. This is not acceptable. Please, whatever you do, prioritise your physical health and then when you are physically well concentrate on all the other ones, mental, emotional, spiritual and financial. Which probs means being not married to this person who does not put you first. He does not value you and thats just sad. Im so sorry

Your husband is a selfish, childish, uncaring swine. I hope you show him this.