Husband …we are not shopping today ..Aibu ?

[inkyspells]

Today me and my OH are going for drinks and food in a city around 30 mins train from our city.
I am at a concert on Friday and there’s a shop that has a top I’m looking for (we don’t have the shop in our city ) I plan on wearing it for the concert.
I checked and it’s in stock
So I said I’m just gonna pop in and grab it
He said “no we aren’t shopping today ,your off work all week ,go and get it another day “
I told him I know we aren’t shopping ,I just want this specific top.
Im literally walking past the shop to get to the area with the pubs.
So now I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow (1 hour travel there and back ,plus another train fare”

Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?
I asked him again and he went in a mood so I just said fine il go another day.

You don’t have to agree with him? You could just go in quickly and if he’s in a mood, bad luck him. Is he normally controlling?

“I’m not asking! I’m telling” I’m just nipping in to grab this top I won’t be 10 minutes, love you, bye

What a controlling dick. YANBU…HE is BU and I think you should carefully consider whether you want to be with someone that a) you have to ask permission to go in a shop and b) would make such a sulky big deal over you taking 5mins to do something

I'd be stopping to get the top. He's not the boss of you

Just pop in there on the way. Is he usually so domineering?

Get the top. Its a quick in and out. He is being ridiculous to insist you make another trip.
Tell him you will meet him in the pub.

Or go get him settled in the pub and then nip out!

He hates shopping ,so anytime I suggest any sort of shops ,he kicks off

My DH would never do this.

I honestly think it shows he doesn’t really respect you, the shop is right there, the town is a significant journey so it logically makes sense to do it rather than another day.

Just do it anyway anyway?

Sorry, but when you walk past the shop, you need just to go in there and get the top. You’ll be absolutely idiotic idiotic to bow down to him when it’s this level of stupidity and coerciveness.

Can he not wait outside and scroll his phone for 10 minutes. Or go to wherever you’re going after and you’ll catch him up? He doesn’t have to love shopping, he doesn’t have to go?

Just TELL him you’re going to get the top. He can wait in the pub or outside. You’re not seriously thinking about going back another day?

You need to explain a bit more op why it’s relevant what he thinks. He doesn’t have to go in the shop surely. No one will know why you are not able to go to the shop yourself and meet him at the pub if you don’t tell us. None of this is how normal couples behave.

I accidentally voted YABU, but I meant for listening to him and not just going and getting your top.

Does he kick off when you do the food shopping that he benefits from?

He is the unreasonable one . You are NOT shopping you are grabbing something as you pass

Can you not go to the shop yourself and leave him in the pub? I have a family member like this that makes any event an excuse to go shopping, it’s relentless.

If you don’t have the kind of relationship where you can laugh say ‘don’t be ridiculous it’s ten minutes now or hours another day, don’t worry I’m not asking you to come in unless you want to? Meet you at the pub?’

Then it wouldn’t be the relationship for me. But if you’re happy OP?

You don’t need his permission! Go and get it!

FFS man, when DW goes shopping you go down the pub. It's "husbanding 101"!!

(Unless you are in Basingstoke where the pubs are miles from the shops - which is why we shop in Reading!)

Normal couples…
’im gonna pop in to shop to pick up a top i want’
then, either
’cool, I’ll wait outside for you’ or
‘cool, I’ll go on ahead and I’ll meet you at the pub then’

getting in a mood about this, unilaterally deciding what another adult can do, going back a different day,..are all absolutely absurd.

Is he usually this unreasonable about minor things? If my DH wanted to pick something up from a shop I didn't want to go to, I would just go on ahead to the pub and get us a table/go order at the bar and arrange to meet him there. I'm sure most people would be the same and wouldn't feel the need to even mention it until it was happening.

Just go in the shop as you walk by and meet him at the pub. I would never let my husband tell me I can’t go in a shop. Fuck that 😂

What?? Why would you go along with that? Just go and get the bloody top, he can fuck off.