Husband …we are not shopping today ..Aibu ?

[inkyspells]

Today me and my OH are going for drinks and food in a city around 30 mins train from our city.
I am at a concert on Friday and there’s a shop that has a top I’m looking for (we don’t have the shop in our city ) I plan on wearing it for the concert.
I checked and it’s in stock
So I said I’m just gonna pop in and grab it
He said “no we aren’t shopping today ,your off work all week ,go and get it another day “
I told him I know we aren’t shopping ,I just want this specific top.
Im literally walking past the shop to get to the area with the pubs.
So now I’m gonna have to go back tomorrow (1 hour travel there and back ,plus another train fare”

Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?
I asked him again and he went in a mood so I just said fine il go another day.

Goodness, I don't think my DH would entertain the thought of telling me what I can and can't do in this way.

Yes, there is a back story @NotAnotherScarf, I didn’t notice the user name when I posted. It’s a ridiculous relationship where they don’t actually like each other at all. The op was warned not to marry him ages ago, and still did.

You're allowing him to stop you doing this?

Do you have form for this OP, i.e wanting to go shopping when you are visiting somewhere for a different purpose? I could see this as being annoying if that was the case, however if this is a one off and you were genuinely going to be in/out within 10 mins, then I don't see it as a big issue and sounds controlling.

You are being unreasonable because no one would tell me what I can and can’t do. Go in and buy the top and if he sulks leave him to it

You are very unreasonable to accept your (D)H telling you what you can and cannot do. Just go get your top, you ard not his child!

Who died and made him boss?

Fair enough if you’d said “I’d like to spend the afternoon browsing the shops” and he didn’t want to do that. But one shop for a specific item? He needs to get a grip.

Oh, it's you. Again.

You've posted so many times about this absolute bellend. Why are you still with him?

He doesn't have to come in with you. Send him on the the pub and get the top. I can't believe that you'd rather make another trip for the 10 mins it will take you. Your husband is totally unreasonable and you should stand up for yourself. Please!

Let him
Who the hell does he think he is?
I would laugh if my DH told me I wasnt shopping

What do you mean, 'kicks off'? Shouting, sulking, anger, gets physical?

Honestly, OP, none of that is okay. A normal person who didn't want to go into the shop would be like, no worries, I'll carry on and wait for you at the pub.

He sounds fucking horrible.

Are you married? kids? If no to both, just dump him now and end this misery.

If yes to either, it's more complicated, but still doable. You don't have to live like this.

Just realised what you mean… why does OP keeps posting and has not left this guy yet?

I’m a solo shopper, I hate shopping with other people. Just tell him you’re going in, and he can meet you at the next stop/pub shortly.

I mean, he's not wrong there. Shopping should be done on your own - it is not and never has been a leisure activity..

did I mention I own a shop

Someone that Kicks Off in order to control your behaviour is a problem.

Grow a backbone and just go to the shop. Or, let me guess, are there umpteen issues in the relationship, and you’re focussing on this one fairly inconsequential thing?

I picked you are being unreasonable because you should just go in and get it. It's ridiculous to do a while other trip to buy one thing. 🤷‍♀️

Just tell him, I’ll meet you in the pub. This really is such a non issue. If he gets in a mood, there is a far bigger problem here.

‘Kicks off’ does not bode well when talking about an adult

At least two bags, banging into him, getting in the way... how big do you think this one top is??

Is it a quick in and out, or do you have form for needing half an hour umming and ahing over colour, size and fit and it would take half an hour? My DH does this and it is incredibly boring and infuriating when we are late because he needed to “quickly nip into a shop…” if not… tell him you’ll meet him there…

YABU to have not just said “I wasn’t asking, I was telling you I was going to get it today”.

I voted yabu because I think that, while his response was unreasonable, your response to him does you no favours.

If you disappear in the shops for 2 hours +, then no.

If you are walking in to try a specific top and buy it, you don't need his permission!