To find menopause totally destabilising?!

[Meetmeinlove]

I am 53 and in perimenopause- I am still ovulating some months but am on HRT and coping kind of ok with the physical symptoms- still having periods as regular as clockwork.

But emotionally I am finding this whole period of life to be completely WILD- like totally upending! It’s described sometimes as reverse puberty and I can kind of see why.

I have generally been sociable throughout my life, have lots of friends, am active and like doing stuff. But I am finding I am questioning everything and everyone - my place in the world, my relationships. I feel quite lonely a lot of the time and find friendships drifting, find that I don’t even really like some of the people in my life. I am finding it very difficult and challenging.
This very much includes my marriage too.

Its probably a cliche- I am probably a mid life cliche but I think everyone talks about the physical part of menopause & whether to take HRT or not- but this up- ending feels less talked about- I feel like I am becoming a different person and it’s so weird.

Finding it very destabilising. Socially I know I can find new hobbies, meet new people etc. That’s not the issue in some ways- it’s more how much of that I actually want to do, deciding where to put my energy and at the moment it feels more
like things are falling away.

I am aware I probably sound a bit nuts but it’s a reflection of my
menopausal state!!

Anyone else know what I mean? It’s a crazy time of life!!!

I always wonder at " not having hrt" but taking all sorts of wierd and wonderful un tested supplements though ( not fish oil and vit D btw) there has been a spate of cases with severe liver damage due to these so I would be cautious .

I relate to just about everything on this thread. I'm also 53, on HRT (patches and oral utrogestan), still having periods, which I am completely fed up with. Surely they should have ended by now! Bad sleep exacerbates everything. Hard to get to sleep, bad quality of sleep, then wake at the tiniest noise several times throughout the night. Then being good for nothing most days, whilst having to work and generally function.
I will possibly try upping the HRT dose but the doctor I see for my HRT wants me to have a scan first as I have spotting between periods and the periods are also sometimes delayed. Just waiting for an appointment. Has anybody else had spotting that has had to be investigated?

I'm allergic to progesterone, so HRT isn't an option for me, since I still have a uterus to protect. Supplements are therefore a good thing to consider, with all the normal precautions you'd give any pharmaceutical or supplement. I refuse to take any supplements with Black Cohosh.

Eeesch, sorry to hear that. What was their explanation? That they didn't care?We've been friends for over 30 years. It's tough, part of me thinks ok if she isn't interested let it go but another part of me sees she's not enjoying anything at all and hopefully it's a phase that she'll come through at some point. It's a real loss to me. Maybe she doesn't care though 😆

Absolutely agree on Black Cohosh, my friend is a liver specialist and thinks it should be banned!
Thats the thing though, many of these supplements are untested and unlicensed

Yes, me. If your investigations come back negative I recommend vaginal oestrogen, if you aren't already taking it. I think, in my case, I think it was vaginal atrophy and dryness leading to spotting as a result of irritation. When I went on estriol cream it stopped.

Thank you @zurigo

I’m 52 currently sitting crying in my car mostly as overwhelmed by decision where to go and what to do with my day . I’ve reared two children alone whilst having a senior professional career and now I’m just irritated and today so itchy and incredibly demotivated I just want to be left alone .

I could have written your OP. This is EXACTLY how I am feeling. I have so little bandwidth now for things and don’t suffer fools anymore and all I want to do is live somewhere quiet.

Make sure your hrt regime is working for you. I got a mirena to stop periods and patches and have added in progesterone to help with sleep
I also take sertraline as my moods were awful before menopuase do to pmdd and it really helps stabilise me

It seems like it could be quite effective for many, but I won't take the risk. Then again, the doctor tried to prescribe me something that is meant to help with symptoms I don't even have (non-hormonal medication) and it sounds like it can be quite risky in itself. I research anything - medication or supplement - very thoroughly. I don't take anything if I can help it.

I can relate to so much of this thread. I went through an early menopause (officially post-menopausal at 40) and it was though my entire self was upended.

I'm lucky that I've stayed in my job because I was utterly floored with what I can only describe as anxiety on steroids. I was physically shaking while logging on at my desk, it was horrendous.

My social circle has become smaller as my tolerance for other people's bullshit is at an all time low (not a bad thing).

I'm lucky that HRT really worked for me and the brain fog is 80% better (not fully) and I no longer have dry eyes or insanely itchy legs. In hot weather, I still get night sweats. During the heatwave, I sleep while spooning an ice pack wrapped in a towel (heaven! Like a reverse hot water bottle)

My tolerance for alcohol has gone down, if I eat at a restaurant and have alcohol and a coffee, I'll get a hot flush. It's annoying, but I can tolerate it.

It's really strange & such a change for me. I am not an over thinker & never have been until now x