AIBU to be hurt by my husbands actions even though his son is sick?

[Khakiqueen1]

I’ve tried to talk to family about this but everyone says I’m just being selfish and thinking about myself before others.

Myself 29 female and my husband 35 male have being married for just under a year. Our anniversary is the end of July. My DH was married previously and that marriage broke down 5 years ago. He and his ex had 1 child a son aged 8 and me and my husband have no children currently.

My DSS was diagnosed with leukaemia 6 months ago and we’ve done everything to support. His ex doesn’t drive so my husband has taken on driving her around, doing her shopping and taking her to work. I don’t mind this as I understand she needs to be at the hospital quickly and is not doing well to be getting the bus everywhere. I selfishly though was getting very jealous and had a huge argument with my husband last week. During the argument he admitted they slept together shortly after the diagnosis and then again about a month ago but that’s it. He said he regrets it but I don’t have children so cannot understand his pain like she can.

I have told him I don’t want him around her anymore and don’t want him doing jobs for her but he and both our families are saying I’m being selfish.

I understand that his son is very poorly but I feel hurt and betrayed by my husband.

AIBU to request he stays away from her?

The correct choice? By staying with him? Really?

No, I read it the opposite way

Realistically they don’t need as much contact as they’re having.

Good grief, this poor child too. I cant imagine wanting to have sex with anyone if my child was going through this. I would be.up the walls with an anxiety not thinking where I'll be getting my next ride!!
Leave OP, no other option available to you.
Talk about parents of the year....
I hope the little boy makes a full recovery.

The fact that he has been unfaithful is the reason to end the relationship. A strong relationship should be able to survive supporting his sick child.

Going through a stressful event doesn’t mean people sleep together! His son being ill is kind of irrelevant, he’s cheated on you, end of.

This 💯

Your mum needs help.

So not only did he cheat on you twice and you haven't even been married a year, he's trying to justify it by saying you don't understand because you don't have children? So he's gaslighting you. What a shitty man. Definitely leave. He's no prince.

Wow Op, I was about to vote yabu until the last part of your post! I'm sorry this has happened

Your mum is an idiot.

Your mother is a doormat and hard of thinking. She should have taught you that you were with more than this sham of a marriage.

Absolutely this

Leave

Omg op he’s a twat and a cunt sorry but you don’t have sex with your ex because your child is ill that’s a bullshit excuse. Op please just tell him to toddle back to exwifey and your divorce will be sorted asap. Ignore the ones telling you to stay no one in the right mind would stay after this happened twice so not really a mistake also why sex why not just a hug or a cry or vent. I don’t think if my dc was ill in hospital I would be jumping into bed with his dad tbh. If ur mum says stay she really doesn’t understand your self worth because it will definitely happen again and again no doubt about it no respect from either off them And using there sick kid is a bad excuse. Omg wow this really is one of the worst op on here.

agreed.

Your mother is wrong. Is she one of these 'never divorce, what would the neighbours say' types? Or does she consider your dick-of-a-husband to be pitiable, and thinks divorcing him is on a par with kicking puppies?

Not that whatever her reason is matters, because she's just plain wrong; and the correct thing to do is divorce his cheating arse.

You need to leave him ASAP before he leaves you first for the ex.

Yabu to "make him stay away from him"

Yanbu to stay.awau from him..

Id be exiting the marriage

Echoing everyone else. Absolutely tragic situation for the parents and even more so for the child, but that is absolutely no excuse for sleeping with his ex. There are other ways of being supportive in this situation, sex isn't one of them.
There is no coming back from this because the trust has been broken. You will be doing all of you a favour by letting him go to be with his ex and child. Heartbreaking for you in the now, but better for you in the long-term. I would consider you selfish if your jealousy was the only issue. I view of his behaviour it redefines it as self preservation in my book.

I agree. Of course he can’t avoid the ex wife and his sick son, but surely you can’t ignore that he has cheated on you twice? Sadly his son is likely to be ill for some time and his ex wife will need support. It’s a horrible situation for you all.

You divorce him and leave them to it. The child needs his father despite the fact he is clearly an asshole

I agree you wouldnt want your DH around a woman hed cheated on you with. Twice.

That said, he cant give you what you want because they have an exceptionally sick son. And his son needs his mum, and his dad needs to support that.

You cant trust him. He had sex with her 6 months ago, hid it and repeated it.

Sorry OP your marriage is over

Luckily as your first anniversary is at the end of this month, you should have enough time to see a solicitor and get divorce papers served to him on your first anniversary.
This time next year you will be free of his revolting cheating self and be able to move on with your life.

I had a one word reaction. Cretin. Child ill. Have sex. Oh, come on!