AIBU to be hurt by my husbands actions even though his son is sick?

[Khakiqueen1]

I’ve tried to talk to family about this but everyone says I’m just being selfish and thinking about myself before others.

Myself 29 female and my husband 35 male have being married for just under a year. Our anniversary is the end of July. My DH was married previously and that marriage broke down 5 years ago. He and his ex had 1 child a son aged 8 and me and my husband have no children currently.

My DSS was diagnosed with leukaemia 6 months ago and we’ve done everything to support. His ex doesn’t drive so my husband has taken on driving her around, doing her shopping and taking her to work. I don’t mind this as I understand she needs to be at the hospital quickly and is not doing well to be getting the bus everywhere. I selfishly though was getting very jealous and had a huge argument with my husband last week. During the argument he admitted they slept together shortly after the diagnosis and then again about a month ago but that’s it. He said he regrets it but I don’t have children so cannot understand his pain like she can.

I have told him I don’t want him around her anymore and don’t want him doing jobs for her but he and both our families are saying I’m being selfish.

I understand that his son is very poorly but I feel hurt and betrayed by my husband.

AIBU to request he stays away from her?

1st time was possible a horrible mistake in the early days of grief.
2nd time was not a mistake.
You need to leave him. I’m sorry you are in such a horrible position

Pretty sure you can share grief with someone without putting penises into vaginas.

Well said @wandawaves

You are being unreasonable in considering staying with your cheating husband.

Hope the child is successfully treated.

Leave with your self respect.

Of course you are.
Do not delay it.

OP he is the lowest of the low. Shagging his ex, blaiming his sons illness and then shaming you for not understanding because you are childless. Appalling.

That poor sick child, yet they have time to cheat behind your back?

Leave this toxic situation and dont be emotionally blackmailed by anyone.

Hope DSS recovers, he has a shit show for parents, poor kid.

It isn't unimaginable to me. I've had a child with cancer.

Getting my leg over was the last thing on my mind. Especially if it involved lying and sneaking around. I didn't have time for that because of my sick child.

WTF!! No! I’d dump him for cheating.

This is exactly what I was thinking, I've had a poorly child (although lot less serious than cancer) and when she was in and out of hospital the last thing I was thinking about was sex with anyone at all, particularly not my ex husband (her dad)

I think you need to separate. Despite all he is going through that's no excuse to sleep with his ex wife twice. He will just do it again. You can't trust him anymore. They are going to need to spend a lot of time together due to their child's illness and I think you know on your heart of hearts what that means

This
Although I would be asking him to leave, for me there would be no coming back from this.