AIBU to be hurt by my husbands actions even though his son is sick?

[Khakiqueen1]

I’ve tried to talk to family about this but everyone says I’m just being selfish and thinking about myself before others.

Myself 29 female and my husband 35 male have being married for just under a year. Our anniversary is the end of July. My DH was married previously and that marriage broke down 5 years ago. He and his ex had 1 child a son aged 8 and me and my husband have no children currently.

My DSS was diagnosed with leukaemia 6 months ago and we’ve done everything to support. His ex doesn’t drive so my husband has taken on driving her around, doing her shopping and taking her to work. I don’t mind this as I understand she needs to be at the hospital quickly and is not doing well to be getting the bus everywhere. I selfishly though was getting very jealous and had a huge argument with my husband last week. During the argument he admitted they slept together shortly after the diagnosis and then again about a month ago but that’s it. He said he regrets it but I don’t have children so cannot understand his pain like she can.

I have told him I don’t want him around her anymore and don’t want him doing jobs for her but he and both our families are saying I’m being selfish.

I understand that his son is very poorly but I feel hurt and betrayed by my husband.

AIBU to request he stays away from her?

Forget it, your marriage is over. He's cheated on you, twice with his ex wife.

Do the people who say you are being selfish know that they slept together ?

On the off chance this is real:

You have two separate issues:

1. Your husband cheated on you.
2. You have an unrealistic idea about how much care and time a very sick child needs.

Ending the marriage is the only sensible option.

Just leave. There's no way he can't have contact with her while their child is so poorly, and you can't trust him to be faithful. You only have control over your own actions.

The answer here is to split up now.

This.

horrible situation for everyone. But that is not an excuse to cheat on you. You are NOT being selfish. He cheated. And will do again.

He slept with her twice after you married and your response is you don’t want him seeing her again? Seriously, get some self respect.

Leave. Now.
Your marriage is over and staying will only prolong the torture.

Why are you still with him? You are young enough to start again with someone who doesn’t use their sick son to excuse their own shitty behaviour.

He needs to be there for his son and support his mother as primary carer and co parent. This doesn’t involve having sex with her.

You need to leave them to it. He's cheated on you. Their child is very sick. Of course you cant ask him to stay away from her. You sre being selfish

Edit: By leave them to it I mean you need to leave the relationship, not let him carry on cheating and put up with it

You can’t stop contact given the circumstances.

But you can - and should - walk away from the relationship.

You are basically the ow.
Ltb.

Thank you. I wanted to leave him but my mum was trying to convince me the correct thing to do was to stay. I feel much happier now that I’m making the correct choice.

Your husband has cheated on you less than a year into your marriage.

you cannot trust him.

leave him.

You're hurt?
I'd be more than hurt.
He's a cheat who happens to be going through a tough time.
Usjng his sick dc as an excuse to sleep with his ex is disgusting.

Exactly this.

Dump his cheating arse. Using a sick child as excuse for infidelity is particularly despicable.

Your dm should support your decision, not try to sway you to her pov.

My child had cancer. Never did it occur to me to have sex with my ex husband as a comfort (we are both remarried).

He cannot stop supporting her and his child during this time but you also don’t need to take that as a reason to forgive him.

Absolutely your marriage is over.
He's a cheater.
The details are irrelevant to the fact.

Definitely do not waste your future on him.
It really is over.

I'm so sorry.

Get yourself some therapy after you've left him.

Of course it’s unreasonable to insist that two parents of a very sick child cannot see each other. The person he should not be around is you, because you should leave him! He said that only she understands his pain? So using his sick child as an excuse for sleeping with another woman. Nice.

His hearts not with you OP. No one should judge you if you can't move past his infidelity.

Your mum is taking the path of least resistance because she doesn’t want to rock the boat, there’s a difference between doing what causes less of a scene and doing what’s right. You are worth far more than this and if you give anyone the message that they can betray you this badly and you’ll just roll over and accept it, they will never respect you and will treat you even worse in future. If he can do it with his ex and cynically use his son’s cancer to justify it, then he is capable of doing it with anyone. I know nobody wants to see their marriage fail, but you didn’t blow this apart. They did. You can still have a sick child and not shag your exes.