Need to uninvite someone from a girls weekend

[OITNB]

I’m organising a mums’ weekend away later this year. I booked the accommodation and invited a group from our sons’ year at school. No money has changed hands yet.

Since the invitations went out, one of the women has had major fallings out with two of the others who are coming. There have been a number of arguments and it’s created quite a lot of tension within the wider year group.

It’s now got to the point where several people have told me they’re uncomfortable about the situation. To make matters worse, we’ve just found out that a number of us haven’t been invited to another social event that same weekend because she’s staying with us. Whether that’s right or wrong, it’s made the atmosphere even more awkward.

I now feel I’m in the position of having to tell her I don’t think she should stay with us anymore. Her son is friends with my son, so I’m conscious there will be fallout. Equally, I don’t want ten other people feeling uncomfortable all weekend.

Am I being unreasonable to withdraw the invitation before anyone has paid? If not, how would you word it?

I have thought about it, but I’ve already paid a non refundable 50% deposit on the house. It doesn’t seem fair to cancel the whole weekend for ten other people because of one person’s behaviour

Cancel the Mums thing and get some different family or friends to come along.
You can't just uninvite one person.

This!

So no one has paid? So people could still back out?

Just stay out of it. Or just cancel the whole thing

I know it’s not being sent but my god that first suggested messsge is so AI it’s sickening
can people really not tell?

This. 100%

Did you not read the first post?

When is the weekend; you say later in the year so presumably in the school autumn term. I’d do nothing for now. Things might settle. If the whole class/year group of mums are going, maybe she will have found a new set of friends. If you need to start recouping everyone’s share of the deposit you paid, approach the others in a 1:1 basis requesting 1/10, and leave her for now. Why poke the bear in the summer?

Her place in the flat still has to be paid for by someone. By now, she may already have paid this.

OMG! Don't send this 🙄

What??
Wow! Somehow I imagined you all as precious first time mums of four year olds at the local prep.. I’m calling bullshit on this post.

It sounds like something David Brent from The Office would say. 🤭

OK, I can see I jumped the gun in my horror at reading that suggestion. 😂

Let the 'girls' (😵‍💫) sort it out. You don't have to do anything.
Tbh, I'm more curious as to why you would pay a 50% deposit yourself knowing how dramatic these 'girls weekends' seem to be? Who does that?

Either ask for the rest of the accom money in a group message, or cancel the 'girls' and repurpose the break. That will show whether everyone can be adult about this by putting up the ££ or bring out the drama llamas who instead message "I'm not going if she's going..."

This is good advice and OP should take it.

So she's the one being sued but everyones decided she's the problem? Jesus

Noted but 'fair' doesn't come into it. I would write off the small financial loss (and perhaps have a whip round among some of the other invitees to try to claw some of it back) and ditch the whole thing. If people can't grow up enough and let their feelings ruin an event like this, it's not your problem. Your peace of mind is more important.

Are you 12? !

So if everyone has booked their own accommodation what have you paid a 50% deposit on? You’ve said it’s for a house?

I just got back last week from a 'mums weekend away'. The kids are all adults now and we are really just friends but started off as mum's!

Absolutely this!

It doesn't add up, does it

It’s the school holidays.

@B1anche
I've read it as the whole year group of mums going away. Different groups within that have booked accommodation for themselves. OP has booked for this particular of 11 or 12 she mentions 10 other people. So maybe 30 in total or going to the same place spread across different accomodation.
Good luck OP hope you get things sorted out.

Another for cancel or do the weekend with someone else. I honestly don’t get how it can all be one person’s fault tbh and why others aren’t stepping in or helping you if they’re all uncomfortable

30 50-something women who knew each other at their child’s primary school, many moons ago all going on holiday together?