I am refusing to take away my children's holiday money because my sistsrs kids are jealous. AIBU?

[dramaticlifestyle]

We are on a family holiday right now. Me, my husband, my daughter (8 years old), my son (4 years old). My parents. My sister, her husband, and their 5 children.

My mum, bless her, really wanted to give everybody a bit of money to spend on holiday. She was able to spare £200 pounds which is absolutely lovely of her. My mum decided to split the money in half, she gave me £100 and my sister £100. I told my mum that I don't need the money because me and my husband already have enough holiday spending money. But ahe insisted, so I decided to give the money to my kids. £50 for my daughter, £50 for my son. That's their money to spend how they want.

My sister did the same thing as me and she gave all the money to her children, but because she has 5 children they get £20 each. We've been here for a few days and the kids have started asking each other about money, my daughter was asked how much money she has, she said she has £45 (She already spent £5). That has caused my sisters kids to start complaining to their mum and dad about the fact they only got £20 whilst my son and my daughter got £50.

My sister has since spoken to me and asked if I can take some of my children's money away because my sister can't afford to give each of her kids £30 because my sister and her husband already have a set budget for this holiday. I said that I'm sorry her kids feel jealous, however I am not going to take away my kids money because that isn't fair to my kids. I split the money fairly, my children shouldn't have to have their money taken away just because their cousins are jealous. I said I will make sure my kids aren't intentionally trying to make their cousins upset, but I will not take away some of their money. My mum also does not have more money to spare because she also has a holiday budget.

Right now we are sitting by the pool and my sister has decided to sit far away from the rest of us. Clearly trying to indicate she is upset.

AIBU?

Who is saying they are having multiple ice creams

It is £3.50 a day

I'm not trying to convince you of anything except that your 'understanding' of what's being said here is way off, but it's fine, you carry on being rude about people who have different opinions from you. 👍

Of course, obviously, those of who don't see an issue with a 4 year old having £50 over 14 days

£ 3.50 a day don't guide them to make choices.........

Right

But what do they need to buy? Unless it’s a city break and there’s a trip to a toy shop I really can’t see £50 being spent.

£50 over 14 days
£3.50 approx

A lilo
A tiara
A slushy
A keyring
A book and crayons
A t shirt
A light up spinny thingy
An ice cream
A drink holder

You seriously can't understand how £ 3.50 a day can't be spent by a 4 Yr old??

You need to come off mumsnet for a bit mate, you’re getting waaaaay too het up, about kids running round with non existent fists full of notes, can’t be good for your blood pressure!

Don't be so rude. I'm just as entitled to be on here as you or anyone else. Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. Stop being so childish.

Oh but you calling people on here shite parents and saying you feel sorry for their kids is fine?

If this were my family, I would be in the position of the sister. I have 4, my in-laws have 2. I would explain to mine that, as there are more children in our family, the money has to stretch further. Its that simple really.

Good for your DS that he now has access to money through working for it; but many parents do like to help their DC become familiar with money and budgeting from a younger age, by giving them appropriate amounts of spending money and guiding them with their decisions.

I don't think most people on here would allow a 4yo to eat multiple ice creams a day either; there seems to be a very widespread misunderstanding that OP has handed a young child £50 and given him the impression that he must spend the lot right now, when in fact she is actually acting informally as a 'bank' to enable him to spend an average of less than £4 of it a day - which would hardly buy multiple ice creams, even if he wanted to. Yes, he might not understand the concept of making the money last and spreading it throughout the holiday, but OP - who is guarding it for him - very much does.

Nope. As you know the money was for OP to do with as she pleased.

Clearly that didn't include handing it over to her poverty stricken sister's kids. HTH.

I think it's very ironic how many people are saying that a young child won't have a clue about budgeting and making money last, but they themselves can't seem to grasp that having £50 available to spend over two weeks is absolutely not the same as spending it all in one go.

That's all I can take from the people throwing their hands up in horror at the very notion of a child having enough for an ice-cream, or 20 minutes on the 2p-falls machines, or a small teddy, or a cheap bucket and spade for a whole day.

We'd all be extremely happy if the money that went in on payday was just for us to spend on that day and we didn't have to make it last for all the rest of the month as well!

Yep, it's such a bizarre stance.

Either the jealous sister's kids were given enough money, so no problem, they can mind their own business about other people's money, good chance for their mother to teach them that's this is just life.

Or the jealous sister's kids got far too little, in which case the jealous povvos commenting here would like OPs kids to be forced to do without and pretend to be poor too so their cousins don't seethe with jealousy - which is absolutely bonkers.

I'm glad the OP didn't punish her kids by snatching away their perfectly normal amount of spending money, just to appease her jealous, poverty stricken sister.

Your Mum was ridiculous.

She gives all the GC the same each, not per family.

I don't know any GM who would work things out the way she did.

It should have been thought through before both you and your sister decided to give it to your children Of course it shows how unfair life is and iti could be said it is a life experience, however, your children’s cousins might well remember In the future, on how they were treated and karma may bite yours if they need help.
It is not your sister’s children’s fault they are so many and you could discuss it with yours and teach them to share

How petty. If I’m honest though, grandma should’ve given the kids equal amounts.

If the sister is single she is probably getting five lots of child element for UC.

It says in the op, the money was for her 2 daughters. The daughters decided to share between their own children. The grandmother could not have foreseen this and it’s the daughter’s money to do with as they choose. Kids have to learn, there will always be others with more than they have.

Then they will have money for at home. ..to save, or spend next holiday

The OPs mother gave her two daughters €100. It was the OP who decided to give it to her kids. Obviously the sister had the same idea. It’s not the grandmothers fault the kids on one side ended up with less, she gave quite generously to her own girls considering she didn’t have much to spare. What they did with the money after that is on them.

Every grandchild should have received £20 from the grandmother. Why does a 4yo and an 8yo need £50 on holiday is anyone’s guess. Same for your sister’s DCs if they are young.

I agree and holidays aren't really the place for life lessons. For a nice stress free holiday it's worth agreeing about these things before you go.

This.

there must be loads of other examples where each of 5 siblings gets less than those cousins just in a pair.

Not the kids fault , but thats the life they’ve got. They may as well realise early in life that their sharing resources 5 ways and let it motivate them to build their own wealth & independence early.

Have you not taken a 4yr & 8 yr old on holiday???

Bloody hell when mine were little they'd have bought the shop if I'd let them?? !!

But she chose to give HER money equally to each family. I'm sure she had it in mind that it would go to the GC spending money, but she was boosting each family fund equally.

It's just that one of her DDs realised thaf £4 a day was already nice amount of spending money, and she decided to take the opportunity to help them learn about using money carefully.

It's not her fault that her DSis forgot that she had 5 children, and so she would obviously need to add more to the fund herself if she wanted them to have the same per child than somebody with 2 children would. Just the same as she has to spend more at the supermarket each week for 7 people than her DSis has to spend for only 4 people; and more on clothes, more on activities, bigger car, bigger house etc. That was her informed choice all along.