To expect 15 year old DD to share a room with the family on holiday?

[NotTonightDeidre]

It's actually is DH being unreasonable. He thinks DD (15) should be happy to share a room with us all (me, him, DD2).

She doesn't want to share a room with us (she will share with me & sister, not her dad).

I can see where she's coming from but DH doesn't see her p.o.v.

I'm going to assume that if a girl gets her period on holiday with her family and is embarrassed about it, she's not going to announce "DAD, I'VE GOT MY PERIOD, DON'T COME NEAR ME"!

Also, we should be teaching our young girls that periods are nothing to be embarrassed about.

Anyhoo, different topic, sorry 😅

My daughter won't be given the choice, I'm not paying for 2 rooms if we all fit in 1

Dd always shared with us, sharing with male family members is normal and ok, not wanting to share with male family members is also normal and ok.

I did have an issue sharing with my dad, he took offence at that and act like I’d accused him being a sex offender, he would emotionally try and blackmail me to agree and say I can’t go on holidays with him and my brother then.

He was a very sexist man who didn’t think much of women though, he didn’t like being told no and had lots of ways he’d try to control and manipulate women in his life.

I would never ever put any child of mine in the situation my father put me, like I say though, my dd always shared with us through choice, she was always give then option of not sharing and she wasn’t threatened with no holiday.

Does he snore like my dad. That would be my reason.

😅😆
It’s not a family dynamic.
It’s a recognised biological and neurological diversity in humanity. Not all humans like to live on top of each other 24/7. There’s nothing to worry or disdain about how some of us genuinely need private time alone every day and when sleeping.

So yes, if it ‘worries’ you that some humans are different with the implication it’s abnormal and somehow degenerate then yes you need a professional to open your mind and develop tolerance.

When we’ve all shared or had to divide girl room/boy room we’ve had a family discussion, explaining that sharing means we can have longer or go further. The kids then bought into it. TBH I enjoyed it the least.

We do it for two weeks so we can spend more on an expensive holiday. We’ve just done a long haul with DS18 and we did a fortnight all in the one room. Everyone uses the bathroom to at least get underwear on. If we take his older brother then we get two rooms, but we’re ok sharing so we can have a great holiday. It would have added another £3k on if we’d got him his own room.

My DD, 15 at the time, was perfectly fine sharing a room with us and her 10 year brother last summer. But I can see that some people wouldn't want to.

I always shared with my parents and did not care, right up until I was 18. I really don't understand the issue. Not everyone can afford two rooms, and why does it matter? All you do is sleep in there. Me and mum used to plan bathroom times. You just get changed in the bathroom 🤷 As I got older, if I wanted to be alone for a bit, I just used to go and chill somewhere in the hotel for a while!

This is honestly such a middle class problem. I literally didn't know anybody who had separate rooms when growing up holiday. It's only for a week usually. It's no big deal.

The biggest issue will surely be that everyone will have to be quiet/awake when the 2 year old is. Get her her own room.

The OP says shed share with mum and sister not dad

I've shared with my sons for the odd Premier Inn night or two and kipping down when visiting family, but for holidays we've always had our own rooms. We love each other and (mostly!) get on, but after a day of happy family holiday we all need our own space to unwind and sleep.
We've compromised on location and other amenities in favour of having our own rooms. There are 10 years between DS1 and DS2. It's their holiday as well so while I have the final say, they are very much part of the discussion.

On holiday I don’t see the issue. I still share with my adult DC at times, of both gender.

you love being dramatic and self-important, I get that.

my point doesn't change.

You are just very privileged to have a wealthy enough family to ensure you had your own room all your life. You are genuinely spoilt 😂

Glad normal kids love sleepovers and sharing a bedroom once in a while!

I don't blame her one bit.

Some of my happiest memories are of all 4 of us sleeping in a row in a hotel. I have a DD and DS - they never share a bed but frequently share rooms when we are on holiday. They are 21 and 18. So long as they’ve got a bathroom to change in and our son has been raised not to be a weirdo about periods. I’d be really concerned if DD was embarrassed to be around her dad. We aren’t skin flints with holidays but I’m not paying for 3 rooms. In New York we had a fab room with massive bunk beds. It meant the 3 night stay cost £800 instead of £1600 and we could spend the savings having fun.

Always get a family room when away and never had any issues with teens - boy17 girl20. They get their own beds. And we save money to spend on experiences instead..

The OP still hasn't come back to explain what the room situation actually was, how long for ,and the kind of holiday she was actually talking about.

It matters a lot to reply if the DD should suck it up for one night or if it's miserable to be stuck with family in the same room for 2 weeks.

Last time i went on holiday i was 14, and i'd have preferred to be in with my mum, dad and older sister, but my gran and aunt invited themselves along so instead of one family room or parents in one me and sister in another, it was 3 to a room. 2 singles, and a pull out armchair thing. So mum and dad had their singles pushed as a double with sister on their pull out, i was in with my aunt and grandmother. Could have had it me sister and dad, but that would have had my mum on the pull out in the other room (aunt is a selfish cow and wouldn't have alternated) and i wasn't having that so volunteered.

Genuinely don't see why even a teen girl would have an issue with her own bio dad.

When we go away the kids share a room (boy and girl, much younger) but we have a separate bedroom. I couldn’t sleep with all four of us in the same room.

Plus how can you be intimated with your children in the room?

Me too - your DH is being unseasonable so I voted YABU as I think that’s what you meant?!

Besides usual privacy issues, and no,it’s not just about getting changed, maybe her dad snores badly? DD genuinely wouldn’t be able to sleep in the same room as him.

Not at that age; I wouldn’t expect her to share a room with everyone.

in 2024 we shared a hotel room for one night. DD17, DD13, DH and me. we were all jet lagged; it was a nightmare. I remember going to lay in the bath tub. I couldn’t sleep and it was one or another making noises. Never again.

On the way back we stopped in Japan and the girls had their own room and DH and I our room, it was a bliss,

We normally do self catering apartments for more space

Maybe sexist, but I honestly think common sense goes out the window with men it comes to money. They try to get everything done on the tiniest shoestring ever- my friends have told stories of their dhes having everyone share meals on holidays, but to insane extents, or like you, a family room when two are needed - I never know if it’s that women are willing to spend more and know it can be managed or whether men are honestly trying to stop all the money going … but perhaps going overboard!! If you can afford it at all, definitely go two rooms!!

I've shared a room with my 22vyear old son on holiday . It was no big deal.