To expect 15 year old DD to share a room with the family on holiday?

[NotTonightDeidre]

It's actually is DH being unreasonable. He thinks DD (15) should be happy to share a room with us all (me, him, DD2).

She doesn't want to share a room with us (she will share with me & sister, not her dad).

I can see where she's coming from but DH doesn't see her p.o.v.

Its not ideal. Id look for a 1 bed apartment. Id dad cant respect her need for privacy thats a problem.

I'd seriously be looking into why she doesn't want to share a room with him. She may have a very good reason not to...
Additionally, when I was 14 my mother remarried and we moved from one place 1200 miles away by car. Half way we stopped and got a hotel--one room. They pawed each other all night! I was mortified.

Additionally, she may just need to have a place she can get away to during the day.

Or, it could be more. Many dads have a tendency to leer, amazed at their daughter's changing body. He may and not know it, or it may be more nefarious.

Whether she gives you a reason, or whether you approve of her reason, I'd say honor her wishes. If you can't afford a second room, give her the option to stay home or with a trusted family.

My DD (16) shares rooms and cabins on cruise with Dw and me, she is happy and if we did not do this she would not have the amazing holidays she has

My great sons sharing with me on holiday would mean none of us had amazing holidays.
Just because posters are saying their teenagers are fine with out does not mean OP's teenager should be. A 15 yo girl not wanting to share a room with her Dad isn't such a strange thing to understand. We'd never expect them to share at home, there is some sort of 'holiday mode' where we can just change how we feel.

Your daughter is happy to share , and that’s ok and pretty normal. Some teens wouldn’t and that’s also ok and pretty normal.

The real question is if she really hated it , to the point that she’d rather stay at home and miss out , would you at least listen and possibly look at alternatives or just shut her down, stay home then?

It’s all dependent on the child in question really. If she doesn’t want to share with her dad then she shouldn’t be made to. I have a boy and girl and last year they were 19/17 and they were happy to share a room with me. Me and ds had to share the bed and dd had to sleep on a kid’s bed (she’s much smaller than me or ds). Dd 17/18 shared a hotel room with DH on another trip that just they went on a couple of times.

None of us mind any of this, if anyone wishes to get changed and others not to see, they just say hey turn your back whilst I change and the relevant people will turn their backs.

But if your dd minds, then you’ll have to arrange privacy for her.

Is there something concerning about her dad?

I may be in my 40s now but I always shared a hotel room with my parents until I was in my 20s - much cheaper than having to pay for a whole room all to myself (plus single supplement!). I’d probably only get my own room now because my back doesn’t thank me sleeping on a sofa bed thing and it’s easier than 3 adults getting in each others way trying to get ready in a morning. Up until a few years ago my father and I used to holiday together (to visit a shared hobby) and although we’d more often than not book a self catering place where we’d have our own rooms, we’d often have time tagged on the beginning or end in a hotel and share a room either with two queen beds or twin beds, didn’t seem to make much sense paying more than double for a room each!
15 is still a child and seems too young to have their own room on their own in a hotel to me, I’d think then you’d have to stay with her for safety reasons.
If on the other hand it’s own room in a house or apartment that absolutely makes sense, not sure why you’d all cram into one room then.

It’s really all about the individual. We just had 2 weeks holiday touring California and we all shared a big family room in every location with 2 kings and a sofa bed. Boys are 19,17, daughter 16. Pretty natural just to change in bathroom . DD either slept on her own or with mum or dad. Nothing uncomfortable or awkward in the slightest for us, families have been cohabiting like this for thousands of years.

A tendency to leer??
Id be seriously questioning the “Dads” you have formed this opinion of!

Completely fine!

I'm glad you would! Many don't. In addition to my two, I see many in my job riding along with police. Leer is really quite the least of it. I'm sure you're aware this exists, but I think most people think, "not in my home!" "not my husband!" "I never saw it coming!" when in fact their daughters (like this one, perhaps) were sending messages all along.

Sounds horrific but I understand if you come across it in work. I guess when you said what dads ‘tend to do’ it implied it was a general phenomenon as opposed to a revolting minority. I am sure that most dads would find the concept at leering at one’s daughter as abhorrent as me.

DD is almost 16 and we've always used family rooms.

Dad always goes for a coffee or something out of the room while we are getting ready and vice versa.

I think the difference is that DD doesn't mind. If she did (and she'd let us know!) then we wouldn't.

DD is almost 16 and we've always used family rooms. Dad always goes for a coffee or something out of the room while we are getting ready and vice versa.

But she's grown up using hostels and the like (we use family rooms, not dormitories) so I guess people sharing rooms is just normal for her.

I think the difference is that DD doesn't mind. If she did (and she'd let us know!) then we would look at alternatives.

I know if I caught my dh ‘leering’ at my teenage dd he wouldn’t be my husband anymore.

I'd always base it on my dc's feelings at that age. I wasn't bothered about sharing a room with my parents on short city breaks at that age, but others would be. Then 8yo dd and then 14yo ds were happy to share a room for our main holiday last year. This year, their things will occupy the same space but ds will sleep in the living room (we couldn't get an affordable 3 bed). Dd would have still been happy to share, but ds is now that bit older, which i get. Really important to respect teenagers' feelings about privacy and accommodate them wherever possible.