Rude text? Or a valid ‘joke’

[Melmel2]

My boyfriend stayed over last night, I was clear with him I had a very early WFH meeting and would need him to be gone by 9. He was, but text me mid morning to say ‘bit gutted I had to leave, I was expecting cornflakes and a quick wank’

I told him I was clear I started work at 9 and needed the flat clear so no interruptions.

He replied saying ‘haha obviously joking, it’s a famous film line’. I’ve never heard of it and he hasn’t replied to tell me which one it’s from.

Would anyone else find that rude?

Christ ok - just leave him please. Not compatible.

This is the relevant question.
A clumsy text arising from mis-matched senses of humour is not insurmountable. But if he failed to get up and get gone promptly, bin him.

Amazing how many people on here think that if they don’t find it funny then it can’t be funny to anyone. Some people have different humour to you and that’s fine.

Danny Dyer?

About as funny as a verucca.

He did need a couple of prompts - he wasn’t refusing, was just slow getting ready.

Yes, it's very disappointing that some people aren't bright enough to realise different people like different things.

You see it all the time on Mumsnet regarding food, clothes, humour, music, films etc.

I honestly think these people have never travelled further than their garden gate, to be so small minded.

The fact that he enjoys sex with OP, really doesn't mean that's all she's there for. Having in jokes about sex builds intimacy. But OP thinks it's "uncouth" so this man isn't for her.

It depends on your relationship. If it’s a new relationship where you’re getting to know each other and you don’t know each others sense of humour yet, it’s a risky joke to make.

If that was my other half - been together years, know each other well etc, I’d have found it funny. He’d have found it funny if I’d messaged him the same.

It’s not rude as such but it needs considering in context.

You cannot deduce this from what OP has said. It’s a snapshot of a single message.
Couples sending each other messages about sex is usually fine and healthy and fun if both parties are on the same wavelength.
OP clearly isn’t on the same wavelength as her partner and doesn’t appreciate him using a movie quote to say he missed morning sex That doesn’t make him vile. He might be vile but you cannot deduce that from what OP had told us.

I'd find that funny 🙈

I thought that too. 9am definitely isnt a very early meeting in my world.

I find it funny & would probably have replied with 'I had no idea you like cornflakes that much'

See I'd find that funny once he'd explained what it was from!

How long have you been together?

No. If neither of us had to be ready until 9am, we'd see that as an opportunity 🤣

Yup, my partner leaves for work at 7.45am when I stay at his. When we stay at mine, he works wfh so doesn’t need to get out of bed until 8.50 to log on on time. We can still manage morning fun no matter what the start time!

But, this isn’t even about morning sex. He just saw a chance to use a silly/funny quote after leaving his girlfriend’s place early. It doesn’t mean anything more than that, and I wouldn’t even take it as him complaining or saying he expected sex. It’s just a little quip, trying to build some in jokes and fun to their relationship. OP is just the wrong person to be with really.

It’s a joke and I would find it funny but you aren’t compatible I don’t think. It’s hardly uncouth!

It depends what he's like in general really. And if he often makes rude inappropriate jokes. If he is in tune with you and tries to be aware of what you like/don't like usually, then I would take it as a misguided joke. It seems to me your instinct is that he is pushing boundaries, I would listen to that and see if he respects you in general

And yet despite what you call crude and juvenile, me and my other half have been happily together for years and are really happy. Despite there being frequent jokes about sex and, dare I say it, a lot of toilet humour.
We’re both pretty intelligent with very good careers as well. Yet somehow can be juvenile in private.
We’re all different and think different things are funny - it would be so dull if everyone was the same.
Having said that, OP I think the pair of you aren’t really that compatible.

If providing breakfast I would expect some nice, mutual, loving morning sex and the tea made before I surface. Women are not wank and breakfast machines. I'd dump him, he's immature.

If you like living on your own then this might be something to worry about; complaining about having to leave rather than thanking you for your hospitality would suggest to me that he is angling to move in with you.

That's fair enough if crude and juvenile is your penchant. It's the number of pp who think people who have different standards of humour and conversation are " dour" that annoy me.

Yes everybody is different so I agree with you OP would be better finding someone who isn't as crude and juvenile as this man.

That is disrespectful of your time, your home, and you.
Bin him.

How long have you been with him? Sounds like his 'humour' is not your thing. Has this been an issue before?

It’s about compatibility I suppose. Not for me or you by the sounds of it

Ideally you get to know someone before chancing a risqué joke. So you know whether they’ll get the reference or appreciate the humour.
Remember jokes aren’t funny unless someone else is laughing.
Get to know someone rather than assuming they’ll put up with it because you think it’s funny.