Rude text? Or a valid ‘joke’

[Melmel2]

My boyfriend stayed over last night, I was clear with him I had a very early WFH meeting and would need him to be gone by 9. He was, but text me mid morning to say ‘bit gutted I had to leave, I was expecting cornflakes and a quick wank’

I told him I was clear I started work at 9 and needed the flat clear so no interruptions.

He replied saying ‘haha obviously joking, it’s a famous film line’. I’ve never heard of it and he hasn’t replied to tell me which one it’s from.

Would anyone else find that rude?

God it can be un funny / funny but still unremarkable enough not to require a rant online about it. Let it go it’s trivial.

I wouldn't have known the movie context so it wouldn't have occurred to me to Google.

I'd have responded the way OP has, but I'd think it was fine once explained. He was doing that thing where you try to be amusing just to have a reason to contact someone you're growing fond of.

And he probably was sorry to have to leave, even though he knew in advance.

There's no right or wrong but life is definitely less exhausting if you don't get uptight about this sort of thing. Personally I'm all for it and would have replied with equal or greater rudeness.

The fact you didn’t know the film makes it less surprising you’re offended; this is the kind of joke you’d usually make if you share the same frame of reference - but him having explained it and you still considering it ‘rude’ seems a bit po-faced tbh.

Shared humour is one of the cornerstones of a good relationship. I, and many other women, would find this funny and reply in the same vein. You don’t, which is fair enough, but I’d wonder in that case whether you’re particularly compatible in other ways?

In your opinion.

Now you know it’s from a film, do you still find it rude?
Do you like him?
We all have our own barometers for what we regard as a joke.

I’ve been thinking more about 9am being regarded as very early for a meeting.
It’s quite possible to have morning sex and be at your desk at 9am, esp if WFH. Obv that’s not the issue, just musing…..

that was the point...

I was replying to someone patronisingly asking if people never joked with their partners. Yes, people do, but "this" wasn't a funny joke. So what.

Because jokes are funny?

She could have googled it after he told her it was a movie line though

He has now told me it’s a Danny Dyer quote, and I can’t say it makes me feel any better about it. Crude and disrespectful.

He had to leave early, agreed to and did without fuss but it reminded him of a funny line from a film so he sent it as a joke. It went over your head but it’s a bloody joke, he rover yourself.

My partner had a sore hip once, but we were still being intimate. And once after sex, he had been a bit sore and I said, “you were like a captain solemnly going down with his ship.” Luckily, he knew the quote and laughed loudly. It was funny. But that’s how we are - inappropriate comments and quotes to make light of things.

It was a joke. Calm down.

Yes but that's subjective. Some people find things funny that others don't and vice versa.

The issue here isn't the 'joke' it's that OPs boyfriend found it funny and she didn't. That to me would question whether they are compatible.

He just sounds ville anyway. You're only there for sex for him. If thats ok with you then great, but he has no harm nor originality and definitely not funny

Which Google would've immediately told you.

That sounds bloody hilarious. Not 🙄

yeah not that joke.

Sounds like you just aren’t compatible, it doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy

not that one

You sound like a barrel of laughs. Not 🙄

Yes Danny Dyer was in Football Factory.
I think it's time to call this relationship off you both clearly have very different personalities this isn't going to work in the longterm.

I understand you being thrown by the sudden nature of his text but he has explained the meaning behind it and your still taking offence. Out of interest how old are you both?

Who sounds dour? Do you mean OP?

Amazing the number of pp saying it was obviously a joke. There is nothing funny about it.

And amazing the number of pp whose relationships with their partners seem based on a shared liking for juvenile and crude conversation.

I'm pretty sure most of MN sit with a wooden brush up their a$$ 90% of the time. Honestly the world is far too woke and full of snowflakes these days.

Probably the same people who use the loo in front of each other and then proudly announce it on here! Uncouth in the extreme.

Having a joke with your partner is a red flag now?