Rude text? Or a valid ‘joke’

[Melmel2]

My boyfriend stayed over last night, I was clear with him I had a very early WFH meeting and would need him to be gone by 9. He was, but text me mid morning to say ‘bit gutted I had to leave, I was expecting cornflakes and a quick wank’

I told him I was clear I started work at 9 and needed the flat clear so no interruptions.

He replied saying ‘haha obviously joking, it’s a famous film line’. I’ve never heard of it and he hasn’t replied to tell me which one it’s from.

Would anyone else find that rude?

So only funny if you'd seen some obscure movie? Not funny then. Much like any joke that has to be explained. I also read this as his not respecting your work either.

Ffs. What’s wrong with you women? I’m totally anti men right now but seriously these poor men don’t stand a chance. No wonder the world is full of miserable fuckers. Can no one take a joke anymore?

I also read this as his not respecting your work either
Good point; something else about this was pissing me off but I hadn't quite put my finger on it.

I’m nearly crying laughing at this, brilliant

Looking at these replies it’s far from being a ‘famous line’.
What a div he sounds!

I hope you didn’t have sex with him the night before, before dismissing him ‘very early’ the following morning?

He probably felt a bit like a male escort! 😂 I’m joking, of course, but imagine the reaction on here if a man had you stay over, but ousted you very early the next morning as he had business to attend to.

He probably felt your ‘arrangement’ could tolerate a bit of smutty banter, but it seems he’s misjudged it and you. It is what he and many others find funny. It’s okay that you don’t.

What comedians do you like OP? Or which shows?

Same, myself and DH have a good sense of humor and love to joke but we both hate crude jokes and would'nt have found this funny.

OP I think it crucial that you find someone on the same wavelength humour wise, otherwise you will both be miserable with jokes not landing right.

Forget what he said. Does he normally respect boundaries or does he try to push the limits to see what he can get away with ?

I think this is true of many styles of joke, but I don't think I have ever heard my parents say the word "wank" in my life.

Is it really such a staple of hilarious moments and comments?

I mean farts, I agree, need to be laughed at, but I just don't find many people crack wanking jokes - and if they do, they find a less explicit vocabulary.

I think you could have texted back

”You’re going to need a bigger boat dick”

Which is another movie quote.

Almost.

Yes, you definitely have to be under work of life stress not to laugh at a wank joke.

I found out what film it was from in 5 seconds.

I don't know, re the rest of your question. It depends on a lot. How long have you been seeing each other, do you usually joke around like this, etc?

Personally when I used to date, I was OK with some jokey, smutty stuff if we were at that comfortable phase. But that's me, and that's the tone I set. It doesn't always have to be serious, but on the other hand, it's up to you what YOU'RE comfortable with, and you have to set your own boundaries.

We don't know what your relationship is like, so it's hard to answer.

Everyone is different and what you just said is gross to me. The point is the guy was joking and it was a quote. I’d prefer his humour over a man requesting “nice, mutual loving morning sex”. Their humour is incompatible.

I think it's a vile thing to say regardless of whether it's a quote. It would put me off him.

You're obviously not that into him.

It would be really interesting to know the age range of those that would be het up by the use of this quote, and those that wouldn’t.

I would have assumed it was a joke, tbh.

Depends on your sense of humour, but I would have chuckled and tried to come up with a witty retort.

If your sense of humour is quite far apart from his, it could be that you're not compatible.

It’s funny

Is your boyfriend 13?

Hope not, I think we’d have more to worry about than a football factory quote if he is.

Yeah, but I presume you know each other very well, you both know what the other likes etc, etc, . This is obviously a first from the op, who is taken aback.

I don’t think the text is funny, and I suspect you wouldn't like the film much either. I'd get a level of ick too. Nothing wrong with not wanting crude banter and a crass boyfriend OP. I suspect he's getting on your nerves in other ways too though and you are already doubting your compatability or this wouldn't have annoyed you so much.

I think the answer op is some of us would be, some wouldn't. Both reactions are apparently within the bounds of normality, but you and your BF seem to land in different groups from each other.

One or other of us must have made a joke first early on and the other laughed so we carried on. For what it’s worth I couldn’t have carried on with someone who had no sense of humour and neither could DH as he’d been there with his ex wife and was miserable (other things too not just the lack of laughing). It’s absolutely fine for the op to not like humour but if the partner is having to hide his humour then that doesn’t make a great relationship in my view.