Rude text? Or a valid ‘joke’

[Melmel2]

My boyfriend stayed over last night, I was clear with him I had a very early WFH meeting and would need him to be gone by 9. He was, but text me mid morning to say ‘bit gutted I had to leave, I was expecting cornflakes and a quick wank’

I told him I was clear I started work at 9 and needed the flat clear so no interruptions.

He replied saying ‘haha obviously joking, it’s a famous film line’. I’ve never heard of it and he hasn’t replied to tell me which one it’s from.

Would anyone else find that rude?

Maybe you should read some of her responses.......
Either way, I'd hardly call their relationship a match made in heaven!

It was obviously a joke and something I personally would have made a joke back to.

How long have you been together?

Usually a mismatch of humour is apparent quite quickly in relationships.
Perhaps he is not the person you thought he was.

It’s very clearly a joke! I’d have laughed. Many others would have too, and many wouldn’t, as this thread shows. Perhaps you and your boyfriend are just incompatible and you should look for someone who shares your sense of humour instead of making nasty comments like “pick me” to posters who find things funny that you aren’t amused by.

It's hilarious lighten up.

I wouldn't say it's new, just seems to have made it's way out of the Reddit cesspit onto Mumsnet in the last week that I've noticed. But, yes, the same idea!

What? Using the loo in front of your partner is uncouth? Is that just for no2s or are you including wees in this?

Regardless whether I found it funny or not, the upshot is that I don't think you are well matched humour-wise and that's a deal breaker for me.

Because someone doesn’t understand your lack of humour?

Really?

Lame response!

odfod

Some very uptight woman on here, it was funny !

I'd give him the benefit of the doubt on this one - joke that falls awkwardly flat, happens to all of us - but if he kept on with the inappropriates, I'd be backing away.

Not that I think it's a red flag necessarily, just that it's not my sense of humour and I wouldn't have much respect for him.

He's staying over, presumably you're having sex? If you can't even bear to hear the word wank how on earth do you communicate what you like in bed?? I'm absolutely baffled that an adult quoting a relevant movie line that has the word wank in it by text to someone you are fucking could possibly be seen as offensive!

It’s not a red flag to quote a movie in context. The red flag is potentially that the op and her lover do not share the same sense of humour, and perhaps very different cultural references, that is unlikely to change and works for some couples and not for others .

It isn't the word that's offensive, it's his expectation that she should be sexually available to him, at his beck and call.

He didn’t imply that at all.

He said have a wank - OP is not needed for that.

This what was said
‘bit gutted I had to leave, I was expecting cornflakes and a quick wank’
it didn't say who was doing the wanking.
I can't see he would want to do that just after he's eaten a bowl of cornflakes !

It was obviously a joke. You are not well matched in the humour department and I suggest you lighten up a bit and have a laugh!

In my opinion OP you sound stuck up. It was funny, and just the sort of text me and DH would send to each other.

Lighten up.

Just tel him you're not at all happy he assumed you had cornflakes in the house and be done with it.

There has to be deeper incompatibility issues in the relationship if a misunderstanding over the intention of a quote caused this much drama.

It's early in your relationship, the time you're learning about each other. It should have just been, you don't understand why he sent the text like that, he tells you it's a film quote, you still don't think it's funny (there's no obligation to), he then knows this type of jokes not for you.

Do you hate all men and think the absolute worse of
them, or just the partners of absolute strangers that you know nothing about?

in the film (as shown in the clip shared earlier), Danny Dyer (who isn’t a porn star) is saying that as he’s being chased out of a woman’s house in the morning.

the OP’s boyfriend was obviously taking the piss about being rushed out of the house for her super early 9am meeting. It was a quote, not a sexual demand.

It was just a joke though and a line from a film.
It doesn’t need to make sense.

How very dare he be humorous! The very epitome of a red flag for sure!

🤦‍♀️

It’s a quote from a film? You reckon he said it without knowing that? Then just happened to realise after that he could cover it up by saying it was a quote?

Really?

It was perfectly fitting quote for the situation.

I think Danny Dywer being a porn star had to be my favourite thing on this thread. If we collectively maintain it's true, it could end a Mandela Effect memory.

Exactly