Rude text? Or a valid ‘joke’

[Melmel2]

My boyfriend stayed over last night, I was clear with him I had a very early WFH meeting and would need him to be gone by 9. He was, but text me mid morning to say ‘bit gutted I had to leave, I was expecting cornflakes and a quick wank’

I told him I was clear I started work at 9 and needed the flat clear so no interruptions.

He replied saying ‘haha obviously joking, it’s a famous film line’. I’ve never heard of it and he hasn’t replied to tell me which one it’s from.

Would anyone else find that rude?

Yeah it can be funny. But I wouldn't be quoting Danny Dyer in attempt to get sex. I can't see that working well?! 😕 😂

You sound like a librarian from a 1950s detective film who falls in love with a gangster.

I wouldn't say it was rude, but it was definitely crude. It wouldn't necessarily be a deal breaker for me, but I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who often made "jokes" like this.

I don't find it particularly funny, only because it's not my sort of film and I don't know how the delivery would sound but I also don't get why people think the word wank is super crude. My partner and I quote a lot of things and when you're new in a relationship you don't know all of each others references and I think a good sign you like them if when you want to go and watch something they quoted to see what they enjoy and have shared references. Or you know it already and click further knowing you have the same favourites already. It was obviously lighthearted and he didn't expect it to fall so flat with you. You do sound a bit serious and upright with how you described your "early" meeting though and I agree with others I don't think you'd be getting as much ick from it if you really liked him.

Having not seen the film, this clip makes the quote, and the reason he said it, make complete sense!

But it wasn’t an attempt to get sex

I thought Danny Dyer was famed for toxic masculinity ? So that's no recommendation.

Actually ... you are right.

The clip does contextualise what I had hitherto thought was a bit unnecessarily vulgar.

Watch the clip OP! It's the way he says it and the scuttling motion ...

I met my husband whem we were 18 and now we are 45 so we’ve had a very different relationship to people who meet as adults I guess, because we would still text each other stuff like this and not have an issue because we essentially grew up together. Also perhaps we were formed with the cruder comedies of the 90s and noughts and genuinely couldn’t care less. Also, I know him inside and out and know when a joke is a joke. I’m assuming if I were older and in a newer relationship this might be jarring. But if you don’t like his sense of humour you probably need to either think about whether you can see what’s a joke or not or just accept he's not a keeper! If you found this one text so terrible you had to post about it I think this is your sign to find someone else.

I guess you'd have to know what that quote is from to find it funny. What is it from?

Isn't Danny Dyer a porn actor ?

Says it all.

The clip is above in the thread. It is funnier against that context than I had thought before seeing the clip.

fuck sake 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Famous film? What a male centric view of the world

@Wonderfrau How are you already sleeping with a guy but didn’t know your senses of humour were incompatible?

That crossed my mind as well.

Everyone’s personalities and relationships are different. If there are people who wouldn’t mind this (myself included) and have that kind of relationship with their partner then so what? If you that kind of thing isn’t for you then so what? What’s with the judgement from either side? All the ‘juvenile’ and ‘prissy’ commenters… ‘if you don’t have anything nice’…. 🙄
OP If it’s not for you then you don’t sound compatible so would have bigger issues than a joke text.

Eh? He was in Eastenders! He was even in an episode of Who Do You Think You Are, which should appeal to the more high-brow MN poster.

Anyone seen any Danny Dyer porn? Asking for a friend…

Closest you’re going to get is Rivals I’m afraid.

He was in Eastenders for years, depends what you call porn .

I do get very excited over the Christmas Day episodes….

It’s just a joke

I meant the captain going down with his ship quote. Is there a clip of that upthread?

I’ve not seen the film but would know it was a joke. I’d have replied saying, “Ah shame. Me too!”

Yes, of course, you're absolutely right. But you both have to be at a comfortable stage to try that out.. Doesn't sound that the Op is.

Oh sorry...No I don't think so.