Evening Guests? Is this reasonable

[MyLusciousEx]

Could you help me with a list of what type of connection you have with the bride and/or groom to pop you on the Evening Invitee List.

Wedding is mid November - 300 miles (no location connection to couple) away and on a Tuesday.

60ish people invited to the day, about the same again to the evening. Plenty of room at the venue though it's pricey. Very few taxis available to a more reasonable lodgings - and I thonk closest are 15+ miles.

Abd yes I know it's not a Summons 😉

I don’t understand what you’re asking tbh

My thought was

Colleagues
Distant cousins
Old school friends now drifted apart.

Any other types fit on the reasonable to ask to Evening only?

I'd have to like someone a LOT to go to just the evening do for that.

I'd have to take 2 or 3 days off work to be somewhere on a Tuesday (the day and night before travelling / staying, the day of the event and overnight plus the next day to travel back. So that's 3 days of leave and 2 nights in a hotel. I would decline!

What are you asking ?

Presumably you’re thinking you should be high enough up the heirarchy to warrant an invite to the day do? Just decline, I wouldn’t attend an evening event under those circumstances.

It’s whoever the wedding couple want to invite to the evening rather than the full day. Some couples will only have immediate family for the day with all other family and friends join for the evening. Some won’t have any evening guests and will have everyone there for the full day. There aren’t rules.

I wouldn't invite people who I drifted apart to my wedding who does this? Anyway I have been to a few evening receptions, yes cousins friends and work colleagues, latterly my Dcs friends from school or who we know.

I still don't know what you are asking except yes i think I would travel to someone I liked or loved, Evening do.

Taking into consideration the cost - 3 days leave ( in my case unpaid), the travel cost, the overnight accommodation I wouldn't travel 300 miles for a mid week wedding, unless it was one of my DC. And I definitely wouldn't do it as an evening guest.

Anyone who you want to come, but don’t count as close friends and family, would come for the evening only. It’s really as simple as that. You could have colleagues or neighbours at the main do if you’re really close to them - someone’s ‘title’ doesn’t mean anything!

She’s asking what type of people you would give an evening only invite to in this situation, presumably because she expected to be an all day guest.

op, everyone’s situation and relationships are different. But long story short, generally evening only guests (particularly in this situation with the distance) are people that you don’t mind whether they come or not.

sorry, I know that’s not what you want to hear. I’ve been there, not making the cut for an all day invite. And there isn’t really any way around it, it is a bit hurtful. But it is what it is.

and edited to add - no, I wouldn’t go.

I bet it will turn to be that OP is the groom’s sister.

60 people is a smallish wedding isn't it ? I had 50 at mine because of costs but the people closest to us came and I think 80 came at night.

Em, totally depends on how big the immediate family and close friend groups are. Dh has a huge immediate family and 60 for us would have meant either no aunts/uncles or no friends.

Evening invites are just insulting if you have to travel. If it's local, fair enough. And I'd say it's for distant relatives, neighbours, work colleagues and acquaintances.

I wouldn't go to anyone's evening reception in that situation. I'd only travel that far on a term time Tuesday for one of my DC or best friends, and I'd expect to be invited for the whole day.
I might make a weekend of it for a more distant friend or relative if it was a Saturday wedding in a nice area with good accommodation close by.

Have you received this invitation? Just decline it.

I wouldn’t go. Not worth it. 300 miles away just for an evening do on a Tuesday. 2 days off work in the middle of the week. Naaah.

Just don’t go.

I’m not a fan of evening dos to be honest.

Personally we only invited people to our wedding we wanted for the whole day - I wouldn’t travel that far just for a weekday evening do.

If you're the bride and your wedding is 300 miles from where you live, asking anyone just for the evening isn't great and I for one, wouldn't come.
If you're on the evening list, just decline unless you can turn it into part of a holiday. Tuesday? Seriously antisocial.

Fascinated to read that people are commenting despite not knowing whether OP is asking from Bride or guest perspective.
🍿

I wouldn’t go, not worth 600 miles there & back just for a few hours at a evening do. What a waste of time.

Evening invitations best for local colleagues,and not such close friends and replies. Definitely not for anyone who would have to stay over or who would not know many people.

I suppose it depends on the set up and how big their families are, but I only go to evening wedding invites if they're local to me.

From the (slightly scathing) description of the wedding and logistics and the fact that OP said ‘I know it’s not a summons’ it doesn’t sound like the bride…