Evening Guests? Is this reasonable

[MyLusciousEx]

Could you help me with a list of what type of connection you have with the bride and/or groom to pop you on the Evening Invitee List.

Wedding is mid November - 300 miles (no location connection to couple) away and on a Tuesday.

60ish people invited to the day, about the same again to the evening. Plenty of room at the venue though it's pricey. Very few taxis available to a more reasonable lodgings - and I thonk closest are 15+ miles.

Abd yes I know it's not a Summons 😉

Yeah I don’t know but they clearly feel put out and want to know what the norm is.

My step sister invited me to her evening do (I didn’t go). Cousins I think did. Work colleagues..

I’m confused and don’t understand what you are asking? Are you the bride or a wedding guest?

Could be cousins, aunts, anything really.

I am not sure why you are asking but I wouldn’t be attending.

Fair comment but I suppose I still don't understand why anyone feels the need to ask thousands of random people on the internet what to do instead of doing what they feel is right / want to do.

Sorry, too far and midweek. I think you can invite who you like because it's a big ask for people to go all that way and at a fair cost and am not sure many will or be able to take you up on the offer.

It depends a lot on the size of the family. Some brides and grooms have huge families and around here, family still comes first.

If it’s not local then I’d say no one should be invited to the evening. If someone is close enough to you to travel all that way for a wedding the surely they’re close enough to come to the whole day

The bride is my Ex's sister.

We're really close; she calls me her Bestie. I'm still really good friends with her brother, we all still socialise together.

I just feel a bit second tier tbh.

Wedding is in rural France and all (most?) invitees live in Kent.

Don't have evening attendees (I didn't call them guests as nothing is being provided)

Inviting anyone to do a 600 mile round trip, use up days of annual leave, and pay for transport and accommodation, to attend a disco is pretty outrageous. (In my opinion)

I don't know why anyone would have evening only guests at a wedding far away from all their friends and family (or in this case abroad!)

Because as you say, if you're not close enough with them to come to the main wedding why would you spend all that time and money to get there just for the evening?

Who's going to travel 300 miles for an evening invite, especially if not close to the bride and groom, just invite for the whole event or don't bother 🤷‍♀️ how insulting to be expected to fork out travel and accommodation and you're not even invited to the main event.

Why are you asking? Everyone is different. You either want to go or you don't. There's no drama.

Yeah, don't go. It's an obligation invite.

I would not go to the evening do if I had to travel to another country!

Destination wedding: evening only invite - that is absolutely nuts… add into that mix it’s on a Tuesday?!!?
wow, this is not you, it’s them.

In that situation, everyone has to be an all day guest to be honest unless retired or strictly weekend workers.

My cut off for my Saturday wedding was "if we called to say we were unexpectedly in their city and needed to stay over the night, would it be awkward or an inconvenient but pleasant surprise"?

And we had a free bar and fed our guests Fri-Sun - it wasn't an expensive wedding, we just prioritised hospitality.

Is your ex bringing their new partner? Could it be at her request as she feels awkward? Particularly if it might be the new partner's first time meeting a lot of their friends and family?

I it a multi day French wedding?
I wouldn’t be doing a 600 mile round trip mid week for an evening party unless I was planning to make a holiday of the trip and fit the party into the trip. It wouldn’t occur to me to issue an invite of that type.

This is outrageous. An evening invite to a destination wedding. On a Tuesday.

I’m sorry, it sounds like it’s time to rebase that friendship. My bestie got a reading, a seat on top table, a mention in my speech and a thoughtful gift - this is just insulting.

I wouldn't travel to France / 300 miles to be an evening only guest.

I get it might be awkward with her brother being your ex but you don't invite a 'bestie' as an EO invite.

😂I have never heard of anything like this.
Not a chance I would attend

Do they live in France? If not, it’s unlikely that they are actually getting married there (lots of red tape around non-residents getting married in France), and are just dragging everyone over there for a party.

In any event it would be a hard no from me. Too much effort, time & money.

I wouldn't invite any of those people to any part of my wedding, except colleagues that I actually consider to be friends. Why would you?

I would guess she send invitations to be polite, but doesn't expect people to actually turn up.

It's a bit awkward if your ex turn up to your own sister's wedding!

"Evening guests" are not a thing in France at all, everybody is invited for drinks after the legal wedding and only actual guests are staying for diner.

An evening guest for a wedding in France?! No chance, that’s nuts!