Was told a few weeks ago I have Crohn's but on holiday my husband just did this AIBU

[Corfudreaming]

He brought back a huge haul of pastries- not only do our daughters 17 and 13 need to watch their weight (and he is about 4 stone overweight too) I cannot eat gluten.
It's not just a few treats - it two bags of donuts, pies, bread and custard donut things.
there are a couple of oat biscuits but I think they've got wheat in them. I have just really found out I have Crohn's disease and it is making me feel quite low that I can't enjoy the foods I used to. I have been trying to avoid wheat and some dairy products for awhile now because I noticed they were causing issues with my stomach. I've been really careful about my diet over the last few years and I was hoping to enjoy the old donut on holiday but obviously I can't. Am I being unreasonable to be angry at this?

I know someone with food addiction that does this a a tactic to binge eat. Buys things other people can’t or won’t eat. Mostly junk food like what you have mentioned. He may have done this intentionally so he can binge and eat it all knowing full well you can’t/ shouldn’t be eating it.

You’ll get much better responses asking this on a Crohn’s forum OP. Lots of people do not get it and will give you poor advice, be rude or question things in your post that aren’t relevant. I have Crohn’s and was diagnosed 13 years ago.

I’ve read your posts but not the whole thread OP, and tbh I’m surprised at the voting and some of the comments. It was really inconsiderate and thoughtless of your DH to buy excessive amounts of ‘treats’ he knows you’re avoiding at the moment while you figure out what you should be eating, without getting you something nice that fits your current temporary regime.

Oh for gods sake, he’s clearly sharing them with his healthy weight daughters. There is nothing to suggest he’s got binge eating disorder.

What would that be then? What exactly would he buy her.

What was your morally wrong job OP?

I know a number of people with chron’s and Ibs who are very sure they feel the benefits of cutting our gluten.

This is such a reach

Oh unclench. They’re on holiday. Going off piste a little doesn’t hurt.

She’s indicted he’s got more than the usual person would buy. Healthy weight or not no child should be eating that much. When I go on holiday I treat my children to things we wouldn’t usually eat but not that much. He’s also extremely overweight. No one is carrying all that extra weight from a normal amount of food.

@Corfudreaming

I have Coeliac, diagnosed over 20 years ago, and I can tell you that when you first have to make that radical change to your diet (regardless of why), it is really and truly horrible. Seeing people eat what you can't just kills you inside. I can tell you there have been more times than I can count in the early days when I left rooms or restaurants in tears of anger and frustration. Even now, all these years later, I still have rare moments of sorrow. But I am here to tell you that it does get better and easier.

And you have to remember that they don't do it to torment you. They are eating whatever it is because it's what they want to, and can, eat. It's not their fault we can't.

As far as Crohns, I have had friends who have been recommended going GF as better for their Crohns.

As far as Coeliac, it is a genetic disease. If you want to be tested and you are currently GF, you will have to have a genetic screening. The routine blood test screens for antibodies that are only present if you are eating gluten. The other alternative is an endoscopy of the upper intestine as Coeliac causes a specific type of damage that is easily recognized. So if you do ask for testing, be sure to tell them that you have been eating GF and for how long.

Oh give over, they are on holiday, it’s two bags, for three of them, nonone said it would be eaten in one sitting. Honesrly I know folks like a bit of hyperbole in here but dial it down.

Being a geek here, but: Coeliac is also an autoimmune disease; the immune system 'attacks' gluten, which is why any trace - a crumb or using the same toaster or plates - can trigger symptoms.

Autoimmune diseases often co-occur (it's why, for example, my child was tested for 5 other autoimmune diseases when they developed Type 1 diabetes). Sadly, that child had gone on to develop a total of 3 autoimmune diseases and we've been told that's incredibly common.

Yeah my mate with Crohn's can eat plain carby things like mashed potato, white bread etc, cheesy pasta and things like chicken in breading. But just nothing spicy or with too much fibre. Like they can't eat many vegetables or salad. It feels like it's not a very healthy diet!

I don’t know but presumably the OP does and he could have asked her. Even if her answer was that there wasn’t any treat she wanted to eat at the moment, I think just being asked would have been considerate, don’t you?

Two bags between three people on a week's holiday isn't a vast amount. It's not like there's any suggestion that he's planning to eat them all a) alone and b) in one sitting.

Agree.

Gosh you jumped far there, you’ve no idea the conversations they have had,what she’s currently eating on her diet, which is highly restrictive. And what is feasible.

her issue is not he didn’t ask her, her issue is he bought them for him and the kids to enjoy when she can’t.

Just because you have bowel disease you cant tell other people what they can eat. Thats totally unreasonable.
Low fibre when your bowels are playing up.is the normal route.
I have ulcerative colitis.

Sorry Op, it so rough to be told suddenly as an adult you can’t eat tasty things anymore. I am low fodmap and gluten and dairy free due to a digestive disorder, it sucks. This happened after many years of being able to eat most things. Last holiday I headed for the local shop and checked out the gluten free aisle and stocked up on some tasty sweet things for me. It really helped.

Yes its one thing to have a few treats when on holiday but the amount of stuff that OP described her H buying was just so OTT. That's not treats, that just smacks of greed.

Don’t be ridiculous, 3 bags, she didn’t say what size. For 3 people. And likely to last a few days.

and what’s wrong with being greedy on holiday. I certainly am. We don’t live in biblical times.

Definitely YABU. Your diet restrictions shouldn’t affect everyone else.

And if your children are overweight- a pastry or two on holiday is going to make sod all difference. Let them enjoy it. And maybe ask yourself why you’ve enabled them to get to the stage where you have an overweight 13 year old in the first place.

They aren’t over weight, they are a healthy weight.

i think she’d jist pissed off she can’t have the treats, prob making their holiday miserable due to it as they dared to get some treats on holiday.

her kids aren’t fat. They aren’t even over weight. And her husbands a grown ass man who can eat as he pleases.

im fairly sure if the genders were reversed and a man was trying to stop his over weight wife having treats on holiday there would be an out cry.

Who cares? He’s a grown man with agency and free will. He can buy as much as he darn well likes!