Was told a few weeks ago I have Crohn's but on holiday my husband just did this AIBU

[Corfudreaming]

He brought back a huge haul of pastries- not only do our daughters 17 and 13 need to watch their weight (and he is about 4 stone overweight too) I cannot eat gluten.
It's not just a few treats - it two bags of donuts, pies, bread and custard donut things.
there are a couple of oat biscuits but I think they've got wheat in them. I have just really found out I have Crohn's disease and it is making me feel quite low that I can't enjoy the foods I used to. I have been trying to avoid wheat and some dairy products for awhile now because I noticed they were causing issues with my stomach. I've been really careful about my diet over the last few years and I was hoping to enjoy the old donut on holiday but obviously I can't. Am I being unreasonable to be angry at this?

P.S both my daughters are healthy just they are pushing the getting to overweight stage and I don't want to make them feel self conscious - I'm trying to make sure they have healthy choices now.

If your daughters are very nearly overweight, are you sure they’re healthy?

Do you mean coeliac's? Crohn's isn't affected by gluten.

He’s overweight and was being greedy. I’d be worried about his health, if you still love him, and your daughters’ health but if they eat it, that’s up to them. Get something nice for yourself and make sure to let him know what he should bring you next time.

YABU. You shouldn't stop your family eating stuff because you can't, and the comments about weight are just digs. Are you expecting your children not to have any treats on holiday?

Angry is an overstretch. Most people relax diets on holiday so it seems like a nice thing to do for his daughters. It does suck for you and he should have got something you could eat.

I'm following the fodmap diet as wheat definitely gives me a very cramp stomach. I'm a runner and if I have wheat I get terrible diarrhoea

I have ulcerative colitis, which is a closely related disease to Crohn's. They are caused by your immune system attacking the lining of the colon, so it's not really related to diet.

How were you diagnosed with Crohn's?

Yes they both do lots of sports and they have healthy digestive systems. They both want to join me in the gym when we get home from holiday. I think my DH is a bit of a feeder - although he won't admit it. TBH I also buy them sweets and chocolates but we eat them as pudding not snacks. But not all the time either.

A colonoscopy

Sounds like a wheat allergy or potentially celiac not Crohn's. What tests have you had what is the advice of your GP?

It sounds like you need to ask your DH for support. Does he know what you are going through and what you can/can't eat?

I do agree with PP though just because you can't have something it's unfair to say no one can.

I think he's bought a lot so that he can say it's for everyone, when really he wants to feel better about eating it himself.

Yes I think you are right to be annoyed and exasperated by him buying such unhealthy food.
Even if he doesn't care about his own weight and his own health he should be mindful of you and your children's health.

I think you are being unreasonable about your daughter’s weights. Diets can relax on holiday.

I think being around donuts and pastries is going to be something you’ll unfortunately have to get used to, but your DH could have been a bit more thoughtful so soon after diagnosis. Maybe fewer pastries and then some treats you all could’ve enjoyed.

They managed to see my small intestine and found it ulcerated and inflamed - although I've been told it's mild with no need for medication. My GP suggested fodmap and it's actually worked- I'm not on the loo all morning.. It could be I only need to cut out certain things - but for now I'm on the elimination stage and will reintroduce foods in the next two weeks.

I think this nailed it.

Benefit of the doubt, he’s not used to thinking about your new diet. But he sounds a greedy sod.

I have had a colonscopy but it was only a couple of weeks ago so I've not had a treatment plan yet.

Also I've been quite unhappy in my marriage the last few years so this feels like another nail in the coffin! So I'm not being angry about just this - it's a build up on top of other things

I voted YABU because I was diagnosed with acid reflux at the start of the year and spent a few months eliminating things. I am left with about 4 major trigger foods now. I didn't police what my DH bought as non-main-meals though I had to keep an eye on what he was cooking.

Nice dripfeed. Why focus on this small issue if you’re unhappy with the entire relationship?

I have ulcerative colitis like the previous poster and take daily drugs for it but I do have to follow a lactose free diet and be careful with certain reactive foods. However, I never stop my family from having foods I can't and I try to find a suitable alternative for myself. DH is very good about walking extra distances to find vegan ice creams or lactofree cream so I can enjoy the experience too.

It's early days but you'll get used to the idea. However, gluten is not a normal indicator for UC or Crohn's so you may have Celiacs and should get it checked out.

I think my DH is a bit of a feeder - although he won't admit it.

My DH is a feeder. And we just talk openly about it. DD wants to be healthy and eats very sensibly, including some junk. But DH will try to encourage her to eat more and she will say, "Dad's at it again Mum". He laughs, we laugh.

It sounds like there isn't that kind of communication about it. Although it helps that my DH does a shit load of exercise so is fine with how he looks and doesn't feel shamed when we talk about food.

YABU. I am coeliac and have ulcerative colitis. My family eat what they want

It wasn't until I started writing this post that I realised why it's annoyed me so much. I've not had any time to think for the last two years and this is the first time I've been able to sit down and take stock so thanks!

Sounds like he eats to work out though!