Was told a few weeks ago I have Crohn's but on holiday my husband just did this AIBU

[Corfudreaming]

He brought back a huge haul of pastries- not only do our daughters 17 and 13 need to watch their weight (and he is about 4 stone overweight too) I cannot eat gluten.
It's not just a few treats - it two bags of donuts, pies, bread and custard donut things.
there are a couple of oat biscuits but I think they've got wheat in them. I have just really found out I have Crohn's disease and it is making me feel quite low that I can't enjoy the foods I used to. I have been trying to avoid wheat and some dairy products for awhile now because I noticed they were causing issues with my stomach. I've been really careful about my diet over the last few years and I was hoping to enjoy the old donut on holiday but obviously I can't. Am I being unreasonable to be angry at this?

Slightly missing the point but I used to buy cake when my friend visited, until I realised her newly diagnosed wheat intolerance would mean I had to make changes. It took me a while to break the habit if I'm honest but she forgave me! We indulge in Mrs Crimbles Macaroons now!

It sounds like you need to work out how to deal with the food situation on holiday, focus on trying to have a good time with your DDs .. It sounds like you need to de srtress.. Holidays are good because you are usually relaxing and doing plenty of walking etc.

I wouldn't panic about DDs eating a doughnut or two on holiday. If you are setting the tone at home by eating healthily and getting enough exercise and making food that is good for them... they will see the efforts you are making.

It sounds like you already have a good idea of what you can and can't eat at the moment... so maybe do some searches to find places where you can eat the stuff you are allowed to have... or a trip to the supermarket to buy things that will help. There maybe some foods you can have as a bit of a treat, so plan in some in the right quantities..

But if not, then reflect on how you said the plan you were following was working, which is brilliant. Its also good that you've had some medical diagnosis, even if further tests are needed because you can get cracking on putting things right.

You have all of August before you start your new course in September, which will lead to new opportunities.. Try to get a good nights sleep, relax as much as you can or explore where you are with your family.
Don't worry too much about what the rest of them are eating on holiday.. Just make some plans for how you can make your dietary needs fit in and improve everyone's health inthe long term. There's probably associations which deal with these conditions, which have dietary advice, or support.
You could also ask your GP to refer you to a dietician. They often have more time to listen and advise on specifics.

Well yes that too. But my point was that very nearly overweight is by definition healthy!!

YABU to dictate what your family can eat on holiday
He is BU not to have bought a GF alternative for you

It's possible to have Crohns and be coeliac, OP. When you get home, please ask your dr for a blood test to check for coeliac disease. You'll need to eat plenty of gluten containing foods for it to give an accurate result, but, it's really important to do this as it can be hereditary. If you are coeliac (like me!), your children might be coeliac, too, but be subclinical. Diagnosis is also important, because coeliacs need to have bone density checks, too.

I'd be asking for a second opinion too!

Are the biologic meds for Crohn's and colitis (Entyvio, Tremfya, etc.) readily available from the NHS? If it's hard to get them approved, the doctor might not have wanted to bother with doing the paperwork.

Is this a normally common occurrence whilst on holiday? Would you have been happy for them to tuck in if you was able to?

I have a gluten allergy and can’t even tolerate malt vinegar. I’ve never stopped the rest of the family enjoying wheat based products, particularly on holiday!

yabu

i mean you can't say others cant have certain food cus you can't wtf - you need to get used to that

I lost 3 stone over the last year and trying to lose a bit more - i calorie count and often have my own sad little dinner while the rest of them order a take away or have something yummy that I can't have!!

Husband had to cut right back on alcohol this year too - but I still treat myself to cocktails and wine on the weekend - and he has to just live with that!

Crohns’ absolutely can be affected by gluten. It doesn’t directly cause the underlying inflammation of Crohn's itself but in an already inflamed gut, gluten can prompt an immune response that inflames the gut lining further, prolonging a flare. People with Crohn's disease are also significantly more likely to also have coeliac disease or non coeliac gluten sensitivity.

Then stop trying to police their holiday food 🤷‍♂️

My previous post got reported so I’ll say differently for you. You sound unkind when speaking about your daughters and husbands weight. It’s a holiday, let them eat what they want.
your husband should have brought you something too though.

Which wouldn’t have been accurate if they are on the cusp of being overweight.

I get acid reflux. Are there particular foods that trigger yours? I seem to get it even from water so I’m finding elimination quite difficult, I don’t really know where to start.

This. Crohns sufferers are more likely to have underlying coeliac disease, and even non coeliac related gluten intolerances.

You’re conflating a few things in your post.

could DH have bought fewer treats - yes
could he have bought you a treat which fits your diet needs - yes
could everyone have a treat or two on holiday - yes

I’m a low FODMAPper. I was on the elimination stage for about 12 weeks and am very cautiously introducing
things now. You really can’t expect your family not to eat things because you can’t, it’s not reasonable or fair. You have to adjust your mindset or you’ll drive yourself mad.

OP visit your GP because a lot of the information here is just wrong. My relative has Crohns and wheat products made it considerably worse. Crohns patients have an increased risk of coeliac disease and there is also an underlying non coeliac intolerance for gluten because it causes inflammation of the gut in addition to that of Crohns itself.

I’m on biological therapy (ustekinumab) but it took a long time of exhausting all other drug options before getting to this point. Infliximab seems to be the first line biologic in my area because it’s the cheapest, and I tried that first but it gave me very bad side effects.

And he could have been a lot more considerate in the way he acted. This is new for everyone - I get that. And yes, OP needs to chill out a bit, but it’s hard to come to terms with and it takes time.

Not entirely true. A lot of people with crohns cant tolerate gluten.

@Corfudreaming you will get used to it but yes, the adjustment period is difficult.

Your kids are a) on holiday, b) not actually overweight and c) don't have Crohn's, so why would you begrudge them a pastry?

You can't have a doughnut. They can. Appreciate that's a shame for you but it's not anyone else's fault and I don't think your annual summer holiday is the time to start putting your kids on a diet.

I would have thought they test for Coeliac when they did the colonoscopy.

The advice is usually NOT to restrict your diet while you are undergoing tests, particularly gluten. Who told you to do FODMAP?

You need to see your consultant and get a nutritionist advice.

Some conditions can be hereditary too so check if you need to push to have your DC tested too.

We're going through all these investigations at the moment with DD. 2nd colonoscopy is tomorrow.