AIBU All hell broke loose over UCAT

[YourChirpyBee]

DS is applying for Medicine and needs to book his UCAT. He wanted to book a particular date, but DH, who believes in astrology, was pressuring him to book the day before instead (he refused to pay for the selected date) because he thinks it's a better date.

I agree this shouldn't be forced on DS. However, DS completely lost his temper. He said astrology was "bullshit", that this was his future and none of DH's business, that we had nothing to do with his future, that everything he'd achieved was thanks to him and not us and that we havent helped DS17 at all.

AIBU to be really upset by how he spoke? I completely understand disagreeing with astrology but DS17 showed zero gratitude or respect for everything we've done to support him.

Yabu

Your son has has e fucking nough!

Darling, he's 17, clearly very bright but will still be under pressure. Ignore, hot chocolate or ice cream. Smile sweetly, suggest other activities. DH? Trickier, I no longer have one. Perhaps suggest nookie as a distraction?

Sounds like he'll be a decent doctor if he gets to take the test when he wants and not when somebody's magical thinking and superstition is interfering with it.

Odds on you seeing him again once he's at university and free of the woo-woo bullshit, though? I can predict through the medium of my cat's farts that they will be minimal.

What else has he been pressurised to do to meet your husbands / your beliefs? It sounds like he's had enough pandering to you both.

I predict a riot....

He said astrology was "bullshit"

Well he's not wrong!

He probably did go OTT with his assertions that you have given him no help and is certainly displaying a lack of gratitude. But:
a. He is only 17 and this is not untypical behaviour for this age
b. He is probably frustrated,band possibly embarrassed, by his father's bizarre beliefs

.

You arent supporting him though are you?

You are by your own words pressuring him to do something that affects his future in a way that aligns with your own supernatural beliefs.

You deserved his rudeness. Be proud that he can stand up fpr himself.

Well what have you done to support him?

Yes - apart from parenting- as we all do

He will need to learn to tolerate others' beliefs as a doctor, though. He will be working with kids whose parents don't believe in vaccinations, pregnant women who don't think they should have to give up their nightly bottle of wine, relatives telling a cancer patient they can cure it with diet, the NHS systems...
Ok, not straight away maybe. And you might say it's part of his job to deal with this, but not his parents. Still, he's going to hear worse and have to be calm.

But they won't be controlling HIS life.
It's easy to be tolerant of other people's choices about their own lives.

And by the time he gets to that stage he won't still be 17.

You are by your own words pressuring him to do something that affects his future in a way that aligns with your own supernatural beliefs.

Where has OP said that she has any supernatural beliefs?

....that this was his future and none of DH's business, that we had nothing to do with his future

So he won't be expecting you to support him through Med School then? If it's none of your business and nothing to do with you...

I'd hope that a doctor doesn't 'tolerate' a pregnant alcoholic or loons like his father doing their best to kill their relatives with their internet 'research'.

Are you South Asian, by any chance? This sounds like the kind of nonsense that goes on in my family, and I am trying to break free of three decades on from leaving home! Let the poor kid do his exams when he wants to, and stop expecting lifelong gratitude (and guilt-ridden obedience) for parenting him, that's your job.

That's cool, he can register as an Estranged Student and not have to pander to superstition in exchange for food.

Cannot believe this is real. If it is, have a hard word with yourself.

lol, so funny.

Well, astrology is bullshit. But I would say that, being a Scorpio 😃

Firstly, our SC aren't supposed to be grateful. It's nice when they appreciate what we do, but everything we do for them is entirely by choice and should be unconditional.

Secondly, that poor boy. It's only a wonder he didn't snap sooner.

He won't have to accept their beliefs interfering in his life though.

I think I would have exploded at 17 if one of my parents had tried this nonsense with me.

Yes, he could have handled it better but your DH is out of order and you surely know that?

I’m on your DS’s side. Sounds like he’s had enough of your DH’s rubbish and snapped. It’s a stressful period of time for them without parents making things even worse! Neither you or your DH will be taking the exam - it’s absolutely none of your business to dictate when your DS takes it, especially for such ridiculous reasons. Pay the fees and give the poor kid a break. I wouldn’t be expecting too many visits home when he gets to uni if this is how you both act..

As for the posters saying he needs to learn better strategies to deal with differing opinions in order to work in medicine.. a) he’s 17 b) he won’t be taking his patients home with him! I’m a HCP - I smile and nod at bullshit all day everyday. As long as it’s not malicious you just get on with the job and treat patients in a professional manner. I wouldn’t however entertain rubbish from my own relatives!

This.