AIBU All hell broke loose over UCAT

[YourChirpyBee]

DS is applying for Medicine and needs to book his UCAT. He wanted to book a particular date, but DH, who believes in astrology, was pressuring him to book the day before instead (he refused to pay for the selected date) because he thinks it's a better date.

I agree this shouldn't be forced on DS. However, DS completely lost his temper. He said astrology was "bullshit", that this was his future and none of DH's business, that we had nothing to do with his future, that everything he'd achieved was thanks to him and not us and that we havent helped DS17 at all.

AIBU to be really upset by how he spoke? I completely understand disagreeing with astrology but DS17 showed zero gratitude or respect for everything we've done to support him.

Don’t take it personally op. He’s massively stressed and just lost his temper with his father’s strange request. Just leave him be to get on with things, keep him fed and watered and support quietly from the sidelines. Good luck to your son, it’s a tough exam.

This, 1 million per cent. My career is probably the proudest achievement of my parents' lives, I achieved it despite them (particularly my mum), not because of them, and I think she would not be able to grasp the idea that it wasn't because of her "support". Adult children should not have to thank their parents for bringing them up.

"All hell broke loose" - no, your son very reasonably lost his temper over your DH's incredibly unreasonable behaviour.

I really feel sorry for kids like this who have behaved and achieved all their childhood and when they finally reach the end of their tether over something ridiculous and angering it's them that's in the wrong, because their usual behaviour is so perfect.

Grow up and see who's really at fault here OP.

Not only is he pressuring him to conform to his astrology beliefs, he is actively forcing him to by refusing to pay for another date. Pathetic.

I like the sound of your DS 😊

No doubt you'll be on here in 10-15 years wondering why he doesn't want anything to do with you OP and complaining that some evil daughter in law is preventing you from seeing him and your grandkids...

Your poor DS. It’s your responsibility as parents to pay for the date he selected. I don’t know how your post can be real, it’s so ludicrous.

I think your DS would be wise to get as far away from you both as possible

😆

Is this for real? That poor boy.

Who refused to pay for the selected date?

As someone who has studied Astrology, I can assure you it is not "shite".

However, unless you have a very accurate birth time to work with it isn't much use. In any case a day either way isn't going to make much difference.

I am surprised this issue hasn't come up before now.

Booking doesn’t open until the 23rd of June so why are they arguing about it now , anyway?

What's being a Scorpio got to do with it?

That is incorrect.
If he wants to be a Doctor he must understand that others have the right to a belief system of their choice eg Jehovah's Witnesses refusing blood transfusions.
His dad wants to use Astrology to obtain a more auspicious time, that's his belief.

I agree this shouldn't be forced on DS

So have you told him that it's ok to book the date he wants?

he refused to pay for the selected date)

So why don't you pay?

Sounds as if all of this could have been easily avoided.

All hell didn’t break out over UCAT. It broke out over your husband’s stupid attempt to impose idiotic superstitions on your son.

If your son does well at school and gets into medicine, it’ll be because of his efforts, not because he did tests on particular days!

Good grief how angry it would have made me if my parents had tried to ascribe my achievements to the calendar!

It clearly says in the opening paragraph. Quicker to read it properly than post.

@NoMoreLifts Dad refusing to pay for test unless teen chooses certain date is very controlling.

Then he pays for it himself. Simple.

His dad wants to use Astrology to obtain a more auspicious time, that's his belief.

But it isn't his belief so why should it be forced on him?

How would I know?!

Ugh poor lad. Has his Dad been pushing his astrological views on him all his life? If so, there’s no wonder he exploded.

DS17 showed zero gratitude or respect for everything we've done to support him.

Ouch.

Poor lad.

Not all kids have £70 (or £115 if international) to hand, jobs at that age are v hard to get now and DS has probably been fully focused on studying. Plus it's not like the parents don't have the money, the dad is just being a controlling dick. Parents should cover costs like this, especially if they think they're as great at providing for DC as OP does.

"Where has OP said that she has any supernatural beliefs?"
Has she done anything to counteract her husbands refusal to pay for any day but the one of his choosing?