AIBU All hell broke loose over UCAT

[YourChirpyBee]

DS is applying for Medicine and needs to book his UCAT. He wanted to book a particular date, but DH, who believes in astrology, was pressuring him to book the day before instead (he refused to pay for the selected date) because he thinks it's a better date.

I agree this shouldn't be forced on DS. However, DS completely lost his temper. He said astrology was "bullshit", that this was his future and none of DH's business, that we had nothing to do with his future, that everything he'd achieved was thanks to him and not us and that we havent helped DS17 at all.

AIBU to be really upset by how he spoke? I completely understand disagreeing with astrology but DS17 showed zero gratitude or respect for everything we've done to support him.

That sounds to me as if your DS is utterly sick of the bullshir.

Honestly, who refuses to pay for their son's selected UCAT date because they feel like another day is a better one due to 'astrology'? Just how much of this sort of thing has your DS had to put up with throughout his life?

Tell you what is bullshit…this thread. Strange how OP has disappeared .

Strange how OP has disappeared .

I think it was entirely predictable.😂

I assume OP is South Asian. Where even C-sections are booked according to astrological dates. I cannot stand this nonsense (as a South Asian myself). And I recognise this 'you should be grateful' discourse as being very typically South Asian.

To what extent does HE want to be a doctor and to what extent is this what the family wants from him?

I would suspect this isn't the first time your DHs stupid beliefs have caused issues.

I couldn't be married to such an idiot.
Your poor son, having to listen to that, when he's under pressure and wants to do well.

Indeed

Fuck me, just thrown up reading this drivel.

Sounds like he's a good kid. He's clearly grafted and stayed out of trouble if he's in a position to apply to do medecine.

Instead of supporting him through UCAT (which can be incredibly stressful), your husband's twatting on about Astrology.

Just be proud of your son and let him take the lead on this.

Your husband on the other hand, sounds bonkers. Refusing to pay for a particular date because the stars aren't properly aligned? And you wonder why your kid lost his temper? Really?

i dont think your 17 yr old thinking astrology is bullshit means he isnt greatful for all you have done for him.
Will your DH be trying to dictate which days you son operates if he becomes a surgeon and you think him ungreatful if he declines?
Trying to impose your personal beliefs usually come a cropper eventually.
Bottom line is your DH can believe in astrology and sit his UCAT whenever he pleases but he cannot impose that beleif on your DS.

Your dh is nuts. Stop pandering to his silly beliefs.

They never are. Plop in something controversial and leave.

Excellent behaviour by your son. As a medic, he will need to value evidence-based practise about superstition. Your husband may value astrological ‘knowledge’ and there are plenty of antivax, organic food eating, homeopathy believers who who support him. But your son is choosing a different path, based on rational, scientific knowledge and trying to enter a profession (medicine)) that is fully committed to the scientific method.

He should be applauded for pushing back so strongly against what he (and I) regard as superstitious nonsense, It is the sort of strong commitment to evidence based practice. He will need to show as a doctor.

If I were you, I would introduce him to some of Richard Dawkins books, such as The God Delusion, The Blind Watchmaker or The Selfish Gene. He clearly does not have much respect for your husband superstitious views and you should be encouraging your son’s belief in reason and rationality. After all, isn’t that what education is about?

By the way, if you are from a south Asian background then many, many doctors navigate the difference between allopathic medicine in their careers and the religious, astrological side of their culture and religious life. It isn’t difficult to do, but it’s important that matters of medicine and science, reason and rationality are given privacy, not your husband’s own particular idiosyncratic beliefs

Give him a break @YourChirpyBee - he is 17, it’s a stressful time, he is trying to book an exam. Your husband is being wholly unreasonable and you expect your son to be the mature and rational one?!

Astrology, seriously?

Is this how things usually work in your house? Does your husband try to tell YOU when to do things based on this drivel? And do you go along with it?

A perfunctory glance at social media shows us that intolerance for other people's ideas and beliefs is not restricted to 17yos.

But tolerance for someone else’s belief shouldn’t mean doing an important exam on a different day to the one that suits you best, because of someone else’s belief in astrology, @HelmholtzWatson.

Tolerance is saying “Dad, I respect your right to hold whatever beliefs make you happy, but I can’t run my life on a timetable dictated by beliefs I don’t share.”

What you’re also describing is putting boundaries in.

A 17yo who won’t have been able to put boundaries tge way an adukt, the OP for example, could is more likely to ‘explode’ whikst puttimg said boundaries in.
Not out of intolerance. But because the father has been pushing his agenda for so long, wo accepting his dcs might not agree or wo showing tolerance and acceptance of dufferent beliefs himself, that the only wat tge 17yo has found to say NO is to explode.
Similar than what happened in let’s say abusive relationship (not saying it is!). But when no exit exists, things stay hidden so to speak until the explosion