AIBU All hell broke loose over UCAT

[YourChirpyBee]

DS is applying for Medicine and needs to book his UCAT. He wanted to book a particular date, but DH, who believes in astrology, was pressuring him to book the day before instead (he refused to pay for the selected date) because he thinks it's a better date.

I agree this shouldn't be forced on DS. However, DS completely lost his temper. He said astrology was "bullshit", that this was his future and none of DH's business, that we had nothing to do with his future, that everything he'd achieved was thanks to him and not us and that we havent helped DS17 at all.

AIBU to be really upset by how he spoke? I completely understand disagreeing with astrology but DS17 showed zero gratitude or respect for everything we've done to support him.

He doesn't have to agree. As I said before, he can pay for the test himself and go when he wants.

A doctor doesn't have to espouse superstitions that they do not believe in and don't have to change their own life actions as a result of them.

I remember my doctor daughter doing the UCAT and it is incredibly stressful as so much hangs on it.

Support your son, give him a hug and ask him how you can help him. Lift to the test? Cooked breakfast?

This is stress talking.

When it’s done and dusted, he will feel much calmer.

My daughter would have gone crazy if we had used astrology to predict good days for exams. They are trained to interpret scientific research, not superstition.

Or his mum could support him and pay.

The ‘clickbait’ on here gets more and more ridiculous.

OP hasn’t returned yet!

@NeverLookInTheMirror anyone who believes in astrology to that extent is a bit thick themselves

No

Anyone who thinks that 24 hours makes any difference in the outcome of an event hasn't studied Astrology in any depth.

In 24 hours the only celestial body that will have moved any distance is the Moon. The Moon isn't directly connected with education.

They will if the patient makes a complaint.

The frustration of having to pander to this nonsense would drive me over the edge.A relative of ours tried to stop my mother having a baby on a certain day. She rang up in a panic when she heard my mother was in labour.

A doctor doesn't have to espouse superstitions that they do not believe in and don't have to change their own life actions as a result of them.

So you think a doctor should force a Jehovah's Witnesses to have a blood transfusion ?

He won’t be 17 anymore and a patient won’t be trying to control his life. Your extrapolation is ridiculous.

Seriously? Your take away from this is that your DS is ungrateful? Your poor DS. You and your DH need to give your heads a wobble.

Poor your DS. I don’t blame him at all, it must be a very stressful time for him. Have you given him extra support or just basic parental support?

If your DH offered to pay for a different date then maybe that would’ve been accepted (however ridiculous), but I bet that this isn’t the first time astrology has got in the way of these types of decisions.

It sounds like this was the final straw and there are definite issues in your relationship with your son.

You're upset at your son but not at your batshit crazy husband who won't book a certain date because the stars in the sky say another day is better........You're knocking at the wrong door OP.

How did you come to that conclusion? It would only be similar if the patient insisted that the doctor can’t have blood transfusions/donate blood. Which would be bonkers.

That being said courts (not doctors , unless in an emergency and they aren’t aware) can override/force patients (particularly minors) to have a blood transfusion if necessary.

So, sorry op, is it that your DH thinks the other date is best because a bunch of stars are in a certain position, meaning he'll do better in the exam?

Is your DH ok? Is he well?

Religion and superstition are two different things.

Hopefully he will go to a medical school far far away.

So why does he think you haven’t helped him at all? That’s a strange thing for a young boy to say when arguing about astrology and dates if he didn’t believe it to be true.
Also it sounds like this astrology stuff has been in his life for a long time and he’s had enough of it. Your husband needs to understand that just because he believes in it doesn’t mean everyone else has to.

Not that different if you're an atheist like me.

@ChalkOutlines How did you come to that conclusion?

You said don't have to change their own life actions as a result of them. Which I take to mean ignoring a patients Right to Self Determination by taking a course of action that does not support that Right.

The process of applying for medicine is hard enough without other people putting extra pressure on. Tell your DH to wind his neck in and help your son through the process whatever way he needs you to.

But that would mean we cut off our children if they don’t believe the same as us parents? I fundamentally disagree with that. Yes it’s his belief but he’s son doesn’t believe that. As a parent you are meant to support your kids no matter what. If I was the mum I would have tried to de escalate the situation. I would have paid for the test as the time is convenient for the son. Yes he was disrespectful but we need a lot more of background to make an assessment of the situation. Was this a one off from the son? Does the dad constantly try to push his beliefs that clearly don’t align with the son’s view? It’s hard to give a holistic view of the problem with the information we have in my opinion!

This is why I asked upthread what had happened previously with regard to DH's belief in Astrology and had it caused a problem before.

So far we have no answer/explanation.

I’m not sure why you’d expect your ds to show gratitude in that particular instance.

If he is able to do medicine, this is thanks to his work and his efforts.
He wants to do a really important test for him at a certain date. Probably because it works better for him -whatever the reasons. One day more to revise, other stuff he has planned, transport etc…
And yet he is lumbered with astrology and a controlling father (because refusing to pay fur it unless it’s tge date he chose was controlling).
Im really not surprised he blew up.

Im quite interested to know why you feel that, in that particular situation, your ds should have ‘disagreed’ but still show reverence and gratefulness towards you/your dh?