To be annoyed at the assumption that I am a Mrs?

[Cheeseandolivesplease]

So I completed a update form at the dentist for myself and my daughter; the ones they routinely hand out. It didn't ask for my title, but I ticked the "married" box.
Next thing I know, my name pings up on the screen as Mrs .
Just no!!
At the end of my appointment I went to ask for it to be corrected, but AIBU to be annoyed at the assumption?
A bit like the thread today referring to the new prime minister's wife as Mrs Burnham. She is Ms van Heel.

Is it really worth getting upset over? It’s a common assumption to make. You can correct them.

Yanbu but noone will agree 😄

I can understand your frustration but what does it really matter ? I could not bring myself to get uptight about this. It's a very first world problem that would fade into the oblivion the second something else happened that puts other smaller annoyances into perspective.

It's absolutely not a minor thing. It's rude to assume someone's title.

Niff naff and trivia.

FWIW I get incredibly annoyed when I’m not called Mrs PurBal. It was a huge decision to take DH name and become a Mrs, to get called Ms or FirstName PurBal is really sad. I often correct people and say “I prefer Mrs”.

@PurBal But that's my point. You want to be referred to as Mrs x. Even if I don't agree with being a married Mrs, I would still show respect to you by addressing you as Mrs x.

@PurBalcompletely agree. I hate being “Ms”. I was proud to be “Miss” and I’m proud to be “Mrs”.

It's annoying isn't it! I kept my maiden name but occasionally get called 'Mrs. Maidenname'. Very rarely do people use Ms, yet all men are just Mr. Annoying that our titles are defined by our martial status

What do you go by usually are you Ms @Cheeseandolivesplease ? If it bothers you say. Most people do assume i guess.

My Dd is married and uses her own name ive never really thought if she uses Mrs or not im going to ask her ! Sorry I got side tracked

@anonhop Just in the same way as I have chosen to be a married Ms. To call me something else is disrespectful, no?

I agree. I did not take DH’s name and I am definitely not ‘Mrs’

But if you’ve ticked the “married” box it’s the norm in our social conventions to assume that you are a “Mrs”. I don’t think people can win here because there are lots of people who would be equally offended to be referred to as “Ms” or “Miss” if they’ve ticked to say they’re married.

If you see something in a tree it’s more likely to be a sparrow than a goldfish.

If a women is married they are more likely to be a Mrs than other titles - it’s a perfectly reasonable assumption to make.

It would unreasonable to assume your title is Dr/Lady/Rev etc because it’s much less common than Mrs for married women.

You can simply go and tell the administration staff your title is actually X. If they have used the wrong surname it is equally easily corrected - tell the admin and its job done.

@Lomonald I'm Ms MyName. I don't understand what is so difficult? My in-laws are both in their 80's and still get it right every time!

Although, why on earth does your dentist have a box to tick to say if you are married or not.

I use my professional title and my maiden name. Loads of scope for mix ups. Dr / Ms / Miss / Mrs x MyName / HisName. In completely random and usually incorrect combinations. My own mum used a totally made up name for me when she was filling out some legal paperwork.

Most people aren’t trying to be difficult, so I can’t really feel too upset if they get it wrong. It is a bit confusing.

@PinkCatCushion The point is it is an assumption. Why would they get my last name wrong? It's on the form!

@Batties No idea?

I think especially on forms if you ticked married and it didn't have a title tick box businesses and health services will automatically assume, it isn't something personally i would get worked up about, but your feelings obviously matter, just correct people.

I would regard it as a very minor thing!

@PinkCatCushion That's you though. I chose not to play a part in supporting the patriarchy.

Was going to say why does my dentist need to know if I’m married? I can think of lots of things that sound like it’s important, next of kin for example, emergency contact but then just ask about those directly!

Most women who are married use Mrs, it's a perfectly reasonable assumption to make. It's also fine for you to correct them. No drama needed.

@Cheeseandolivespleaseyes, I suppose. Although Mrs is the traditional & therefore, if there is to be a default option for married women, it makes sense. Of course, if you’ve expressed a preference, it’s respectful to honour it.